Blue Sun Room FICTION - ROMANCE

Sorry

Thursday, July 6, 2006

They were both glad just then, they had never before gotten a second chance.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3031    RATING: 8.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Mal said he was sorry, though the words never left his lips. It was the way he looked at her, the way his brows knit together and the corners of his lip's dipped bit.

The last time was at Mr. Univers' place, he had looked at her and said 'I'm sorry'. And she wanted to tell him that if he kept himself alive, he would have nothing to say sorry for. But then she said it too, maybe thats because she was sorry too.

They both were very sorry, and they both cared about one another so much. They both knew it, they both hated knowing. If they did not know, it would not be another thing to lose. They all had lost so much, it just wasn't fair.

They were so sorry they had wasted so much time, and Inara felt her heart break knowing this could be the last words they spoke to one another.

He walked away and pressed the button on the lift, when it arived he looked back at her. She strung her bow and took a deep breath. Then she turned to look in his direction, as if she felt him looking at her.

They were both glad just then, they had never before gotten a second chance.

This time instead of saying sorry they said "please, take care... I think I love you... I'm scared I'll never see you again... I am glad i got to see you again" And so many other things that could never be said with words alone.

Then he entered the lift and the doors closed behind him.

They both prayed then. Her for more then the hundredth time and him for the first in a long time.

Comments
Thursday, 06 July 2006 06:04
Short fic's seem to have something lacking. Resolution. The endings are never quite enough, even when "The End" is painted over the entire final scene.

The last line perfected the whole. Powerful actually. At first I was confused, the punctuation (or lack thereof) threw me off. But once I realized that Mal actually prayed, the connection was made and I sighed. Happily.

One of the few short fan fic's I've read where it was completely ok to be short. It was actually fitting to be short... any more would've just been overkill and useless exposition. Excellent writing (just work your punctuation a bit more for clarity)!
Thursday, 06 July 2006 06:33
it was nice
Thursday, 06 July 2006 18:25
Good job, I liked this a lot. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Thursday, 06 July 2006 20:51
Xie-Xie! I will work on my stuff more next time... I just had like 5 minutes to type it and post it before the computer lab closed so i rushed... i just needed to get that bit out of my head. I am so glad you liked it.
Saturday, 08 July 2006 04:54
Well now...this is some mighty fine ficcing right here, OldSoul1987! Really fits in for how we would presume Mal and Inara would be thinking at that juncture, and the fear-inducing hope that know the other person cares just as much as you do about them was spot on:)

BEB

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