Blue Sun Room FICTION - ROMANCE

Equilibrium- Chapter III

Friday, October 28, 2005

A full-bodied fic with a heady aroma of Jayne/River and slight undertones of Jayne/Kaylee and Kaylee/Simon. Post "Serenity." The crew tends to some business. Not the last chapter-- simply the most recent. Comments appreciated!

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2686    RATING: 9.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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They hit atmo’ even before Mal had predicted.

He tended to fly faster than Wash had.

Jayne was wrapping one of his guns up in a shirt. He set it down real careful in the bottom of his bag and piled a few more shirts on top of it.

“What’s that fer?”

Kaylee’s head was sticking over the edge of the hatch.

Jayne looked at her and shrugged. “Never know when yer gonna need to shoot someone.”

Kaylee lifted her eyebrows and disappeared for a moment, then reappeared, sashaying down the ladder. Jayne watched her hips sway. Let her see him lookin’ before he turned back to his bag.

“Packing grenades too? Bet you have ‘em folded up real cozy in a stack of unders.”

Jayne looked at her and grinned. “Don’t got no unders to fold ‘em in.”

Kaylee laughed.

“Cap’n wanted me to let you know we hit atmo. Won’t be long ‘fore we land.” She picked a pair of socks off of the bed and folded them together.

Jayne watched her. “Yeah. I could feel it. Mal ain’t as good at flyin’ as Wash was.”

Kaylee set the socks in his bag. “No, he ain’t. But he ain’t the one flyin’. River is.”

“River? That girl’ll kill us all. Likely to freak out and crash us into somethin’. Mal really think that’s a good idea?”

Kaylee was lookin’ at him hard. “River ain’t gonna hurt us. She’s a real smart girl. At least she has somethin’ to do now, stead a wanderin’ around the ship all ghost-like. You should be nicer to her, ya know? Give the poor girl a chance.” She threw another pair of socks into the bag and turned toward the hatch.

Ai ya.

“Kaylee, I didn’t mean no harm by it. I’m just sayin’ is all.”

Kaylee paused halfway up the ladder. “She’s a real nice girl, Jayne. Give ‘er a chance to show ya.”

Jayne watched her disappear through the hatch.

He picked up the rest of his socks and threw them into his bag.

“Ain’t no good gonna come from that.”

***

“There’s a field right over there.” Zoe leaned over River and pointed. “Should be empty this time of year. We can set down there.

Comments
CUB
Friday, 28 October 2005 01:36
The pacing of the piece is a little too staccato for my tastes, and there are some pretty basic keystroke errors in there.

But I like the concept of the story, and it's a fine journey in terms of character study.
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 28 October 2005 01:53
I figure Jayne and River have staccato brains. It worked for me. And I didn't notice any keytroke errors. ;)

Keep it coming!
Friday, 28 October 2005 02:01
*Melts*

Oh that was good. This is the first fic I've read where they deal with telling Wash's family.

I just ADORE Jayne's crush on Kaylee. How he tries not to notice the S/K, but can't help it. And the nightmares. And him hanging back from the rest. Hurting but not showing it.

I'm not a big River/Jayne fan, and I'm crossing my fingers that there'll be more Jayne/Kaylee worked in somehow. But you pretty much hooked me with the first line "In the black, there were no full moons. Or, rather, they were all full… and Jayne Cobb wanted to howl at every one."

That was a powerful way to open the story, and I'm so completely in love with your characterization of everybody, but most especially Jayne.
Friday, 28 October 2005 02:03
Very good. Poor Zoe! Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
CUB
Friday, 28 October 2005 02:29
"I figure Jayne and River have staccato brains."

LOL! Good point. Could be I'm being too critical. Tough to separate casual reading from my newspaper copy editing job. I guess I'm always on the clock in some ways.

The beginning didn't hook me nearly as much as it did Rinny, but the ending was powerful and evocative.
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 28 October 2005 02:39
Forgive me casting aspersions [sic], but wouldn't the brother have said "Hey, where's Wash/Hoban?" as they all filed out of the ship?
BEAUTIFOOL
Friday, 28 October 2005 03:36
Thanks for the encouragement!

<freaks out about keystroke errors>

Rinny, there will be plenty more Jayne/Kaylee stuff. Believe you me. That pairing holds my heart. But this did start as a dare to not do a stupid/dorky/sexnowpleasekthanks story about Jayne and River, so there will also be more of them.

And you'll like it, gorramit! ;)

second anonymous poster: he did mention that he figured the pilot (who he assumed to be wash) and the captain were "taking care of things up there." I worried about that, too, but i wanted to get him alone with Zoe so she could tell him.

Cub... i'm glad you liked the ending. but believe you me... it's just the beginning. (dun dun DUUUUUN!)
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 28 October 2005 13:56
Very nice, looking forward to more...
SKYE2477
Friday, 28 October 2005 15:42
really enjoying this, in a i would so hate to be them right now kinda way... i'm a jaylee person but i also really think there is something interesting about river and jayne...
Friday, 28 October 2005 18:09
*sniffle* i miss wash...

b
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 28 October 2005 23:42
*sigh* so sad. so nice. i love the idea of river and jayne! looking forward to updates soon...
Saturday, 29 October 2005 09:58
Very nice, how you made Jayne and River both comment on how things were changing.

And that last part, where Jayne can't breathe, and River's hand, and no-one saying a word...

*lip wobble*
Sunday, 21 September 2008 02:42
He nodded and turned to look out the window. “You comfortable settin’ her down?”

“Just like picking her up. Only backwards.”

Mal nodded again. “Just like it.”
Sunday, 21 September 2008 02:42
hahah, I meant to say, my favorite line!!!

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