The Treasure of Lei Fong Wu

Chapter Nine

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“So,” Zoe said, casually, “you wanna tell me what’s going on?”

“I’ve done something terrible,” Mal said, slouching against the bar.

“What’s that?”

“I’ve . . . I’ve ordered a . . . a Mai Tai – and . . . and there goin’ to serve it . . . I can’t believe I’m sayin’ this . . . they’re gonna serve it . . . in a little ceramic Buddha . . . with a hole in his belly for a straw!” He leaned his head into his hands on the bar in an overly dramatic display of shame. “Just wait. For my blasphemy I’m gonna come back as a possum or somethin’." Just for effect, he let out a sob.

“You’d make a mighty fine possum, Sir. But you’re still full o’ fe hua.”

“Zoe, have I ever led you astray?” he asked, rising again.

“Don’t make me hurt you, Sir.”

“And relax with the ‘sirs’. You’re on vacation.”

“Then let me put it this way: Mal, what in the hell is goin’ on to get five Tong enforcers on your ass when you haven’t done nothin’ but go to the beach, eat, and sleep since you got here?”

“Could you conjure that it ain’t anything I done?”

She thought about it. “No.”

He sighed. “Just trust me. We’re on vacation,” he repeated. “Last night’s little adventure wasn’t nothin’ but an interestin’ floorshow. If I got somethin’ in mind, well, let’s just say it don’t concern your holiday none, and you should put it outa your mind ‘till we leave the world. Dong ma?”

Zoe sighed. “You’re really gonna make me hurt you , ain’t you?”

“I mean it, Zoe. Get some rest. Screw your husband. Drink little fruity drinks with me from the belly of a Buddha and enjoy life for a change. All will become as crystal in the fullness of time.”

“Yeah, it was a regular party talkin’ to security in the middle of the night in my skimpies.”

“C’mon! Lyin’ to cops is fun! ‘Innocent bystanders to a gangland shootout’ – ain’t like we were even involved!”

“Sir – sorry. Mal, we laid out those two proper. But somethin’ has me mystified. Who ended the other two?”

Mal considered. “