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Author's Note: Written for Firefly Friday fic challenge #28.

Living
by Tara O'Shea

"Thanks you for coming," Inara said as Mal stepped into the shuttle. She motioned for him to sit, a pot of tea steaming and waiting to be poured. But he remained standing.

"If it's about where we can set down so you can take off, " he began, holding himself stiffly. "New Melbourne is only two days out—"

"I'm not leaving." She said quickly, and he just stared at her, frozen. "Would you please just sit down?"

He perched on the end of the bed, rather than next to her on the cushioned bench. "So what brought all this on?"

"Mal, my entire life has been built around holding myself apart from people. After Nandi..." she trailed off, the speech she had prepared for him faltering, words scattering like leaves in the wind. "I was afraid."

"And what scares, you, exactly? Dying? Because I can understand—"

"Not dying. Living."

"I see."

Inara sighed. "No, I don't think you do."

"Then why don't you drop the fancy talk and just speak plainly?"

"I need a certain measure of control. I need to feel like I am in charge of my own life. I thought that meant maintaining a certain distance... The closeness Nandi had, the love she felt for her family—I thought that was too dangerous. That it would destroy me. What frightened me was realising that Serenity is truly my home, and that you all have become my family."

"Even Jayne?" His blue eyes glittered with amusement.

"This isn't easy for me, Mal."

"I appreciate that.