Kaylee’s Lament

Part Ten

“It really wasn’t that bad,” Mal said as Simon put a single stitch in his arm. “hardly bleeding at all.” He was taking it easy, or trying to, as the effects of absinthe and the five (maybe seven) or so drinks he’d had on top of that with Judge Roy and his boys wore off. His vision was a little blurry, still, and his brain had that ‘insulated from reality’ aspect that he occasionally felt after over-indulging, but all things considered, he wasn’t hurting too bad. He didn’t even feel the needle Simon wielded for a moment, before he sealed a weave over the wound.

“There you go, good as new,” the young doctor commented. “Now, unless you want a shave and a haircut, you’re done.”

“Painless, as always,” Mal lied. He made no move to get up and put his shirt on.

He and River had arrived accompanied by one of Roy’s strongmen, who he had detailed to make sure they got back to their ship without further incident. River had called ahead to warn them that the Captain needed medical attention, but only gave a few tantalizing details: Captain got shot, in the Rectum.

Simon had scrambled to get a full trauma kit laid out in preparation for a massive, bloody gut-wound. When Mal did arrive, held up by his sister (who also, he noted at the time, had liquor on her breath) there was a lot less blood than he had prepared for. It took a few moments to sort out the miscommunication, but once Simon was assured that the Rectum referred to a location, and not a piece of anatomy, he relaxed and took care of the minor graze the Captain did have. He was relieved, of course, that his benefactor and de facto boss did not have such a horrid injury. On the other hand, it would have been the first really interesting trauma in a while, and the purely clinical part of him was disappointed.

“It helps when the patient is legally drunk,” he said, stripping off his gloves. “Cuts down on anesthetic costs. Now, want to tell me why you took my sister out to mortal danger?”

“’Cause we were fresh outa