Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Eidolon (Chapter 28)

Monday, March 19, 2012

There were a few moments of thoughtful silence. Jayne scratched himself, couth as a bear at a tea party. "So how long's this gonna take?" (Understanding)

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3761    RATING: 10.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

Tweet

Most of the day had been too hot by far for working outside when Kaylee and Zoë had parked the hovermule among some piles of scrap, the air wavering as it rose off the shimmering dunes. Kaylee had given the mule a long look, but figured she didn't need to disable it, since no one was around in this heat anyway and she had to admit it kind of blended in. Kaylee felt bad for the machine, in that way most other folks thought was crazy - she didn't always have the parts to keep everything on Serenity better than mint, including the mule, and while she might be able to look at the heart of things and see something shiny there, everyone else always just saw something broken down and good-for-nothing. Maybe that's why she'd been drawn to the people she was. Her crew had a lot in common with her ship.

So she and Zoë had holed themselves up in the shade of the grandmother of Serenity , a model 01 Firefly, waiting for the cooler hours. The Susanna didn't have the part she needed, she'd found it earlier on a Huey and she'd checked the Firefly already the first time she'd been by. They could still use some of the other stuff though, because except for a few modifications on the extenders, the Firefly models hadn't changed much. The ship was dead, its family scattered. But everything lived on in some way or another.

They both worked quietly at first, Kaylee only speaking to point out what they wanted and explaining how to take things apart. Kaylee had always looked up to the warrior woman for her strength, but she had some trouble communing with her - when Zoë wasn't focused on work, she also wasn't much for girl talk. Sometimes she'd taken to asking Zoë about the war, with some mixed results. Nowadays making chatter was even harder. Used to be she could talk about Simon, and Zoë would talk about Wash, but that had changed too, with her and the doctor carrying on while Zoe was in mourning.

She found herself really missing Was

Comments
Monday, 19 March 2012 05:32
Sorry about the delay. when I get stuck on something it kinda slows down everything else, even posting on here.
Monday, 19 March 2012 13:38
What! The Pax in grenade form, that's not good.

Monday, 19 March 2012 19:09
Mwahahaha. Little curveball for you all.
Monday, 19 March 2012 22:36
First: Yay, another chapter! I come looking for this and I'm so happy to find it!

Second: Geez, Alliance! in grenades? But it gives Mal somewhere to look, something to pursue!!!

Third: It's all so good, the exchange between Kaylee and Zoe, all the little details with Mal and Jayne and the women (I wanted Mal to be wrong too), and irritated/tired/conflicted/hurting Simon at the end.

Thank you so much!
Tuesday, 20 March 2012 02:09
Minor characters have backstories? What is this world coming too?

Actually, the three women and their reveal is probably a little clumsy, but I could use the practice of writing minor characters.

Probably River's surprise about Mal's backstory is the most potentially uncanon part of all this. But it just kind of makes sense to me if he had a little sister who died and he blames himself for that. So his relationship with Kaylee, River, and maybe even Zoe a little is all about redeeming himself.
Tuesday, 20 March 2012 02:10
So yeah, Mal's actually been remembering his sister (like in the first chapter escaping from Niska, and the next chapter, and scattered here and there), but in his subconscious she's kind of become blurred with River.
Tuesday, 20 March 2012 18:03
Yay! Another chapter of Eidolon! I really liked the Kaylee and Zoe section, especially Kaylee's thoughts about Wash and her easy rapport with him; how establishing rapport with Zoe is a little more difficult. Liked the detail of how Mal didn't notice his recoil until he bumped into the door behind him. Including a younger sister her couldn't save in Mal's backstory is very plausible, even if non-canon: I like it, and would like to know more. I also enjoyed the humor with the lengthy chemical name.
Tuesday, 20 March 2012 19:00
The Wash and Kaylee thing was from a short story by Jane Espensen, it was just kinda fitting for her to think about Wash and the relationship advice he used to give her. But Zoe has insights of her own too.

Mal has scary dreams that never really go away. :(

I should write more about his sister, they probably had a dynamic a lot like younger Simon and River, only with more hellraising.

Phosphono-methyl-quinoxaline-dione is another term for PEAQX, an actual neurotransmitter. Plus you can derive Paxilon from the above name, even though I think Joss was actually making a reference to pesticides with that one. But I try to keep my stuff grounded in established science.
Wednesday, 21 March 2012 01:26
Yes, I can easily believe that Reynolds children were hell-raisers. You should write that story some time, Bytemite.
Wednesday, 21 March 2012 01:31
I'd have to think about something good to do, maybe Mal foils some cattle rustlers, or the Founder's Day festival is ruined by Alliance types showing up.
Thursday, 22 March 2012 00:04
Wow, a lot packed in this chapter and what a reveal at the end! Very good and exciting, can't wait to see what happened next. Ali D :~)
"You can't take the sky from me!"
Thursday, 22 March 2012 16:28
Thanks, hopefully it'll live up to expectations.
ALIASSE
Sunday, 10 June 2012 21:34
Written with absolute heart and integrity, as usual. All of the characters sound just as they are written in canon - I mean, the way they speak, and the way you describe them.

I felt an absolute chill at the word 'lab'. Does this give Mal a second chance at redeeming Miranda?
Sunday, 10 June 2012 22:12
There are so many layers of screwed-up-ness going on with the situation and the Alliance. It's a very specific and unusual case about what everyone knows, their motivations, the disavowals and the orders they're following, sometimes unwittingly.

But you're hitting very close to the matter. It's hero time.

Post Your Comments

You must log in to post comments.