Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Eidolon (Chapter 21)

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Years side to side and back to back, the two of them dragging each other through the trenches. And sometimes there still was nothing they could do or say for each other. Things that just couldn't be made right, wouldn't ever be right. (Parallel)

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3731    RATING: 9.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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They ran like the demons and djinn were chasing them; stumbled, but didn't stop, even as an explosion rocked the shaken world of the elite and riches fell to ruin. His friend shouted, defiant, calling for the already lost and gone. Hoping against reason, and running towards gunfire.

None of Shoshenk's guards noticed the two teenagers, and why would they? They were too busy fleeing. The underworld was used to upheavals, even under Niska. Their boss presumed dead, the guards had little reason to linger. A couple of ragged yatim did not warrant much attention, not compared to a regiment of Alliance soldiers that would be looking for convenient scapegoats.

Behind them, party guests still out on the balcony were quickly becoming disorderly and agitated, demanding to know what was going on. They ignored the turmoil, passing suites, fallen masterpieces and shattered ceramics around overturned pedestals. The hallway looked like a war zone, for once resembling the city not three miles distant.

The door had been blown off it's hinges; blackened, pitted with shrapnel, still smoking, not much different from the state of the room it had come from. There actually wasn't much blood; usually, there never was. Burns, mostly, some shrapnel wounds. There was a swirl of it, splattered on the hardwood, that led them to the small huddled shape that was once their scout. The boy laid twisted, bones broken, ribs crushed, one of his arms ending in tattered shreds.

Roach. They thought that he'd live through anything, small enough and young enough that he could hide from this, escape when it was all over. That they could keep him from getting involved.

When they'd found him during their own escape, they released him from the cage where he'd been kept like a mad dog, and, weak from abuse, the boy had tried to attack them. Niska had trained him as a thief and an assassin; it was all he had known. Gavril, messenger of God. It had taken them months to get past the snarling wild child. For him t

Comments
Saturday, 22 October 2011 01:30
Just *love* the image of Mal on a white horse--can't wait to see what he does. You paint a good picture of the party falling apart into chaos--all the larcenists and debauchers and all. Liked Zoe and Mal's exchange and Mal's thoughts. Only complaint--too short! Gimme more, more, more (*greedy reader noises*)
Saturday, 22 October 2011 03:07
This chapter came about as I was working on a longer chapter, and ended up needing to be split off.

Mal simply doesn't give himself any credit. Riding in on a white horse is the sole domain of the *hero*, Mal!
Saturday, 22 October 2011 12:48
LOVE!

Are you channeling Princess Bride?

And oh so sad for poor doomed Gavril. The remote is a good, thoughtful detail.

Great little interchange between Zoe and Mal.

Yes, Mal gives himself no credit :( and I like your "unlike a prayer" phrase, the extent of his bitterness is comical when it's not purely heartbreaking.
Saturday, 22 October 2011 15:52
"Are you channeling Princess Bride?"

Little bit. :) Wait for it...

I really try not to make Mal TOO angsty, but I know I go overboard sometimes. I think he has a tendency to brood, and I think little snippits of stuff I've read from the writers from Mal's point of view suggest that he does kind of dwell on things, and have a dim view of the future.

Gavril's story is meant as a comparison, and the name and the nickname have some literary significance. I'm still trying to decide whether to take the rest of this sidestory to that conclusion.
Saturday, 22 October 2011 21:54
When Mal finds Inara, if he finds Inara, he damn well better kiss her!

Sunday, 23 October 2011 14:52
Good drama in this sequence with the worry of what has happened to Inara? As for Mal on a white horse, nice bit of type casting for our Big Damn Hero. Ali D :~)
"You can't take the sky from me!"
Sunday, 23 October 2011 23:14
The horse, like everything else, is symbolic. Also confused and the guy riding her smells like a stranger.

Kissing? This is no time for kissing! Time for daring rescues, kissing only happens when the story is over.
Monday, 24 October 2011 15:44
"The horse... is symbolic. Also confused and the guy riding her smells like a stranger."

Yes, but she'll do what he asks of her because he sits her like an experienced rider, even if he sits with a Western style instead of the dressage seat she's used to. She's a well-trained symbolic horse. :-)

Bytemite, you know we'd all love to see them kissing, but if what you're going to show us is a daring rescue, I can wait.
Tuesday, 25 October 2011 20:43
The different style of riding actually had not occurred to me... Mostly because I actually know close to nothing about horses except that they have thinky-thoughts, reactions, and feelings, and that you have to vary the gait and not ride them more than a few hours at a time or they die.

Er, yes. Very well-trained! Enough so that she can overcome the failings of her writer's limited experience.

Also, all this talk about kissing made Mal and Inara go very red and they walked off in separate directions and locked themselves in their rooms. I can't make them come out now. ._.
Thursday, 05 January 2012 22:37
Mal-on-Horseback swoon!

I really felt the weariness of the Mal and Zoe's bond.

-Loved- angsty-poetic Mal.

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