Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Hard Times - Part Eight

Monday, February 18, 2008

Jayne and Simon have an argument over breakfast; Kaylee tries to plan ahead; and Serenity and her crew finally reach Beaumonde, where Mal handles a negotiation for work in his own particular style...

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2722    RATING: 10.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

Tweet

Disclaimer thingy: Firefly/Serenity are owned by other folks and not by me, though I appreciate being able to write some stuff purely for fun inspired by the Firefly 'Verse. All constructive comments and feedback from you shiny readers out there much appreciated!

**********************************************

When Mal came into Serenity’s dining room for breakfast at the end of his watch, he found most of Serenity’s crew already seated at the table. Kaylee and Inara were engaged in relaxed early morning banter, both women laughing out loud; River was listening in with frank curiosity. Jayne sat hunched over a bowl heaped high with food, which he was shovelling into his mouth. Even Zoë was there, sipping at a mug of coffee.

Mal nodded a hello towards Zoë and the others, as he headed for the coffee pot standing on the galley shelf. He tilted it up over a mug and about a teaspoonful of gritty dark liquid trickled out. He set the pot down. “Jen dao mei…” The pot was barely warm: he took it to the sink and swilled the used grounds out, then took down more coffee from a storage cupboard.

“If you’re making fresh, I’d love another cup.” Inara turned at the table, smiling across at him. Mal nodded, tipping another spoonful of ground coffee into the pot. Kaylee also looked up. “Oh, so would I – if there’s enough, cap’n…” Mal added more coffee. Zoë raised her head and half turned in her seat, lifting her own mug from the table; Mal caught her eye and held his hand up in surrender. “Okay, okay. I’m makin’ enough for everyone. Soon as I get my own damn cup out of it, you can all have a refill.”

Jayne’s head came up, the big mercenary’s attention momentarily diverted from his food. “You makin’ coffee? I’ll have some.” He did a double-take at Mal’s face, then looked at the others. “What?”

Finally Mal got his own cup of coffee and sat down at the table. He sipped at the hot liquid slowly, half listening to Kaylee and Inara’s banter. He let himself lean back, easing the muscles in

Comments
Tuesday, 19 February 2008 02:32
This was great! You've definitely done your homework with dialog and characterizations. Loved the bargaining Mal did for the job - sounds like what would have happened during an episode. And Kaylee realizing how tired Mal was was a very insightful moment, as was Mal's reflecting on finances to keep himself on track. Loved the Simon - Jayne bickering. Your Jayne was pure unadulterated Jayne and your River was typically brilliant. Glad Jake's name came out - it's good for bargaining points with Mal, isn't it? Wonderfully introspective for the characters, and plenty of action too!
Tuesday, 19 February 2008 05:05
Long and well developed, Jing Mei is another interesting and believable OC.
She cackles! and Mal calling her a goddamned old witch, loved that!

And, it's good to see Mal portrayed as a confident negotiator, even when he's obviously desperate for work.

Tell me you have more of this.

Tuesday, 19 February 2008 17:49
(I'm all caught up!)

Oh, very good. I could completely picture the entire portion where Mal & Zoe "meet" Qiang Rong, and negotiate with Jing Mei. Excellent job on both of them. And I liked Zoe's look at Mal at the breakfast table, after his comments on prisoners and their supposed guilt. Very nice, and subtle, as would be. Really enjoying this read.
Wednesday, 20 February 2008 10:50
aint no let down yet!:) keep it up!
Monday, 25 February 2008 11:15
Tardy but heartfelt thanks to Wytchcroft, Homespun, Platonist and Katesfriend for your support. I'll keep on keeping on, as long as folks out there are enjoying it! Part nine is up in BSR, and I'm knocking part ten into shape...

Post Your Comments

You must log in to post comments.