Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL
Back Stories II: Chapter 8
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Inara has bittersweet memories of her first journeys abroad, but doesn't let them distract her from the chase. Good thing, too, because the bad guys are making progress.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 3907 RATING: 9.0 (G) SERIES: FIREFLY
Disclaimer: It belongs to Joss and all those business people. I'm just playing.
Rating: PG to NC17. I will not put warnings on each chapter, because I don't want to give things away. In general, don't be getting into any of this if you're not prepared for adult storylines, violence, explicit sexual content, and - oh my - bad words.
Many thanks: fireflyfans.net members: , , and for beta. Links: Prequels: The Fish Job () (), Easy Tickets () (), and Book I () (). Timing, pairings, and canon blurbs are in my . by Mal4Prez Chapter 8 Inara has bittersweet memories of her first journeys abroad, but doesn't let them distract her Seventeen years ago Kari wraps her arms around her sides, hugging herself against the chill air of the docks. It isn’t so very cold, but she’s been waiting for some time now, and her blood is running slow. Mrs. Peterson had wanted to
from the chase. Good thing, too, because the bad guys are making progress.
Comments
Wednesday, 14 November 2007 15:37
OK, and now I’m going to do what a writer probably should never ever do...
I just have to admit that I don’t like this chapter very much. By which I mean the Kari flashback, the rest is fine. I like the idea of it, and a few little things here and there, and what I’m showing is important in the grand scheme of things for my version of Inara. But I think it could use another year or two of pecking away to smooth it out. It probably could do what it needs to do in much fewer words. But I’m sick of working on it and I really want to move on!
It feels like Mal and Zoë and Book have been stuck on their little moon forever. If I was posting regularly it wouldn’t be such a long stay. I swear, if you go back and read Back Stories after it’s fully posted, the plot’ll move along much quicker, and the rest of the crew won’t feel so completely absent.
Anyhow, yay for the reposting being done and may Reavers search out the evil hackers who targeted our harmless little site! I put up all the feedback I could recover – all I lost was the comments on the past chapter, which is a shame. That was an unpleasant one to write, which made the feedback especially rewarding. I tell you, I don’t plan on reading the end of that chapter again for a long, long time, because I find the bullying situation hard to take. It makes me really mad!
One more thing – in posting all your comments on the past 8 chapters, I was again impressed with the amount of thought that went into them, and how many things you say make me smile. Thank you so much!
I just have to admit that I don’t like this chapter very much. By which I mean the Kari flashback, the rest is fine. I like the idea of it, and a few little things here and there, and what I’m showing is important in the grand scheme of things for my version of Inara. But I think it could use another year or two of pecking away to smooth it out. It probably could do what it needs to do in much fewer words. But I’m sick of working on it and I really want to move on!
It feels like Mal and Zoë and Book have been stuck on their little moon forever. If I was posting regularly it wouldn’t be such a long stay. I swear, if you go back and read Back Stories after it’s fully posted, the plot’ll move along much quicker, and the rest of the crew won’t feel so completely absent.
Anyhow, yay for the reposting being done and may Reavers search out the evil hackers who targeted our harmless little site! I put up all the feedback I could recover – all I lost was the comments on the past chapter, which is a shame. That was an unpleasant one to write, which made the feedback especially rewarding. I tell you, I don’t plan on reading the end of that chapter again for a long, long time, because I find the bullying situation hard to take. It makes me really mad!
One more thing – in posting all your comments on the past 8 chapters, I was again impressed with the amount of thought that went into them, and how many things you say make me smile. Thank you so much!
Wednesday, 14 November 2007 17:40
I really enjoyed this chapter, despite what you say about it. As a bit of writer myself I can sympathize with just wanting to get beyond something!
Oh, and just for pure silliness, I really liked the sing-song, "Pete and Kari, sittin’ in the shuttle, hopin’ for a kiss and a squeeze and a cuddle …"
Thanks for sharing this!
:-)
Oh, and just for pure silliness, I really liked the sing-song, "Pete and Kari, sittin’ in the shuttle, hopin’ for a kiss and a squeeze and a cuddle …"
Thanks for sharing this!
:-)
Wednesday, 14 November 2007 18:18
>It feels like Mal and Zoë and Book have been stuck on their little moon forever.
It DOES feel that way! But that's just because you're not posting frequently. I'm going to lock you in our Cruise cabin and force you to write in a few weeks damnit! LOL!
I really like the history that you've developed for Inara and how she has to hold back with her real family is so sad.
And I really like how you're showing a bit about what the rest of the crew is doing. Even if it was through a video feed, its good to see them coming back into the story a bit. I've missed reading about them!
It DOES feel that way! But that's just because you're not posting frequently. I'm going to lock you in our Cruise cabin and force you to write in a few weeks damnit! LOL!
I really like the history that you've developed for Inara and how she has to hold back with her real family is so sad.
And I really like how you're showing a bit about what the rest of the crew is doing. Even if it was through a video feed, its good to see them coming back into the story a bit. I've missed reading about them!
Wednesday, 14 November 2007 18:25
Eeeeeeeeeyeah! What a wonderful surprise! Haven't read it yet - gotta go to work, but this is at the top of my list for tonight.
Mal4Prez, I can't tell you what a joy it is to read your fic. I've had a crappy two weeks, but knowing I've got this nice little suprise waiting for me when I get home puts a smile on my face.
Mal4Prez, I can't tell you what a joy it is to read your fic. I've had a crappy two weeks, but knowing I've got this nice little suprise waiting for me when I get home puts a smile on my face.
Wednesday, 14 November 2007 20:40
I think you're right, that the Inara childhood needs work -- BUT, I love the idea of her inability to fit into her own home. I think most interesting characters (meatspace and virtuaL) have that sense of not matching their original families -- that's what drives them to go on a journey. (There are only two plots in the whole 'verse: a stranger comes to town/someone goes on a journey)
Keep it up -- I'll go back and repost my comments on the last chapter; which I liked enormously although it wasn't what you would call fun.
Keep it up -- I'll go back and repost my comments on the last chapter; which I liked enormously although it wasn't what you would call fun.
Thursday, 15 November 2007 02:44
After way too long a day, what a delightful surprise to see a new chapter!
After all this time and all these chapters, I still can't decide if Marone is a friend or foe. And you don't seem to be giving out any hints one way or another. He could have just levelled with Inara at their first meeting, but he seems to be following his own agenda. And not very sympathetic to Mal's breakdown. Any hints?
I think you picked the most logical backstory for Inara and her known motivations during the series. The unknown ones will have to wait for the sequel. I liked what you did, it said enough, and it typifies how a motivated person got that way from a painful childhood. I wouldn't change it, but I won't read it very often either. It makes me want to run away from home, too.
I agree with Leiasky. Write faster. This story is too good not to share.
After all this time and all these chapters, I still can't decide if Marone is a friend or foe. And you don't seem to be giving out any hints one way or another. He could have just levelled with Inara at their first meeting, but he seems to be following his own agenda. And not very sympathetic to Mal's breakdown. Any hints?
I think you picked the most logical backstory for Inara and her known motivations during the series. The unknown ones will have to wait for the sequel. I liked what you did, it said enough, and it typifies how a motivated person got that way from a painful childhood. I wouldn't change it, but I won't read it very often either. It makes me want to run away from home, too.
I agree with Leiasky. Write faster. This story is too good not to share.
Thursday, 15 November 2007 06:38
I have to agree with your interpretation of Inara's childhood. It couldn't have been all sunshine and rainbows, she is too jaded and there is sadness behind those big orbs. And you've given us a good explanation of her attraction to the Companion lifestyle and the lack of emotional attachment it provides. If you stay unattached you won't be disappointed when things go pear shape and we know how wrong things can go (HOG).
I've always thought her claim on the shuttle and Serenity as her "home" was the most consistent attribute in her character (and her love for Mal, which is really the same)...that plays out well here.
Anyway, I'm not sure about the other characters either, but I'm waiting for more.
I've always thought her claim on the shuttle and Serenity as her "home" was the most consistent attribute in her character (and her love for Mal, which is really the same)...that plays out well here.
Anyway, I'm not sure about the other characters either, but I'm waiting for more.
Thursday, 15 November 2007 17:31
"She's eleven years old; she doesn't have a lot of time." Wow. I find it heartbreaking that a child would be made to feel that way. I love how Inara has decided to take her future into her own hands, here, even at such a young age. Awesome!
I'm not sure what Marone's true motives are, but I'm getting the sense of menacing urgency that's growing and growing... Very suspenseful! Highly entertaining! Two thumbs (and two big toes) up!
I'm not sure what Marone's true motives are, but I'm getting the sense of menacing urgency that's growing and growing... Very suspenseful! Highly entertaining! Two thumbs (and two big toes) up!
Friday, 16 November 2007 14:22
Dispite what you say, I really liked the backstory about Inara.
The contrast of Inara's down and out family being so haughty and demanding of certain manners and certain appearinces, against the Petersons who are definatly better off in the world, yet their life is more casual and more free of social taboos. This contrast is Inara to the core. She lives one yet surrounds herself with the other.
Great job
The contrast of Inara's down and out family being so haughty and demanding of certain manners and certain appearinces, against the Petersons who are definatly better off in the world, yet their life is more casual and more free of social taboos. This contrast is Inara to the core. She lives one yet surrounds herself with the other.
Great job
Monday, 19 November 2007 01:36
I will be honest and admit I skippen half of the backstory. Well written, but I just needed to get to the present day part, which was really good.
(I did go back to read what I missed the first time round though. I would have found it easier if it was broken up into to separate bits, but that is me. I can lose concentration in the middle of a sentence!)
(I did go back to read what I missed the first time round though. I would have found it easier if it was broken up into to separate bits, but that is me. I can lose concentration in the middle of a sentence!)
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