Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL
Back Stories I: Chapter 6/14: River
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Mal tries to hold on to his memories, then – River has a mystery to solve, and many strange encounters along the way.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 3808 RATING: 9.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
Disclaimer: It belongs to Joss and all those business people. I’m just playing.
Rating: PG to NC17. I will not put warnings on each chapter, because I don’t want to give things away. In general, don’t be getting into any of this if you’re not prepared for adult storylines, violence, explicit sexual content, and - oh my - bad words.
Many thanks: to several fireflyfans.net members: and for hours of beta reading and entertaining discussions of many things. , , and provided additional beta time on the early chapters. The talented did the lovely artwork. (Ain’t it nice?) and http://www.chinesetools.com provided many colorful Chinese phrases. One of fine fics provided a useful plot bunny. (I won’t tell which yet!) Finally – kudos to for her inspirational fic . Links: Prequels: The Fish Job () () and Easy Tickets () (). Timing, pairings, and canon blurbs are in my .
Thursday, 17 May 2007 14:26
Yes, I am venturing into Mal/River, but in my own way!! Anyone involved in all the River romance threads that were going a ways back - I was sitting on this chapter, and wanted to display it as my opinion of the pairing, but couldn't spoil it... Oh, but don't even think that I'm done with it yet! ;)
leiasky and hewhokicks - I'm glad you enjoyed the Book/Wash card game! I was amazed that such a long scene between these two difficult characters just came flowing out...
nbz - whoa, interesting ideas you bring up oin your PM! I'm still chewing on them... but it's yet another discussion that must be kept in the PM realm...
Katesfriend - we'll deal with Kaylee on Monday! ;)
BEB - I totally see your point about Book - I kind of enjoy that he still has this competitive going-for-the-kill attitude, but he vents it harmlessly in a card game.
Platonist - "scaffolding" works for me! It's a crooked, topsy turvy, scary scaffold that's been hell to build! But it's holding together so far, carrying the main plot along to where it needs to go... Good luck with the progress report!
leiasky and hewhokicks - I'm glad you enjoyed the Book/Wash card game! I was amazed that such a long scene between these two difficult characters just came flowing out...
nbz - whoa, interesting ideas you bring up oin your PM! I'm still chewing on them... but it's yet another discussion that must be kept in the PM realm...
Katesfriend - we'll deal with Kaylee on Monday! ;)
BEB - I totally see your point about Book - I kind of enjoy that he still has this competitive going-for-the-kill attitude, but he vents it harmlessly in a card game.
Platonist - "scaffolding" works for me! It's a crooked, topsy turvy, scary scaffold that's been hell to build! But it's holding together so far, carrying the main plot along to where it needs to go... Good luck with the progress report!
Thursday, 17 May 2007 15:08
River is just creapyily (is that a word? I don't think its a word!) in character here and her conversation with Wash and Zoe at the beginning was just eerie.
I can't wait until someone finds out what Jayne gave River! And her distraction with everything was so disjointed and perfectly described.
And Kaylee not interested in sex talk? With River? Damn, that girl really IS distracted!
So River is going to leave Simon alone. Why do I think he's going to resist that and feel the need to 'help' her at every turn? Or - he'll be so distracted with what's going on with Kaylee that he'll neglect her and then feel guilty later?
Ohh, tangled webs. I love it! And the art for this chapter was just lovely as well.
I can't wait until someone finds out what Jayne gave River! And her distraction with everything was so disjointed and perfectly described.
And Kaylee not interested in sex talk? With River? Damn, that girl really IS distracted!
So River is going to leave Simon alone. Why do I think he's going to resist that and feel the need to 'help' her at every turn? Or - he'll be so distracted with what's going on with Kaylee that he'll neglect her and then feel guilty later?
Ohh, tangled webs. I love it! And the art for this chapter was just lovely as well.
Thursday, 17 May 2007 15:57
This was a lovely series, more Mal angst that I generally like to read, but I did read this series and enjoyed, but going to have to leave it now if you are doing any Mal/River. Waaay too incestous for me. Shudders.
It was a good series though, and you are a very talented writer.
It was a good series though, and you are a very talented writer.
Thursday, 17 May 2007 16:07
I found this amazing. So very much part of River at this point in time, although as a Mal fan I find his deterioration very saddening.
Personally I'm not worried about the Mal/River potential, as although I can't write that, I can appreciate it in others! Besides, I don't think this is real love - River has something of a very strong infatuation, maybe, but love ... not too sure about that.
Personally I'm not worried about the Mal/River potential, as although I can't write that, I can appreciate it in others! Besides, I don't think this is real love - River has something of a very strong infatuation, maybe, but love ... not too sure about that.
Thursday, 17 May 2007 16:55
Thanks Jane - My comment above may be misleading. I'm going into Mal/River territory, but I'm hoping that my opinion of these two as an actual pair comes through in how I presented it. *cough*unrealistic*cough-cough* I guess I assume that folks have read the BSR threads where I've stated my opinion flat out - I'm right with SWD.
Doesn't mean I can't have fun with the notion of M/I. ;)
Doesn't mean I can't have fun with the notion of M/I. ;)
Thursday, 17 May 2007 17:05
This is a fascinating story. I love the spot-on characterizations. The plot and the people ring true. Now,I going to be selfish. I hope Mal becomes whole again soon. I miss him!!
Thursday, 17 May 2007 20:49
Well now...I am glad to know that you're using Mal/River as a stage for River's emotional development. While I will read it without qualms and usually enjoy it...this storyverse you've set up makes it totally wrong-footed. That and River would probably pick Mal first for an infatuation until she gets enough time under her belt to know that Mal's a better surrogate father or brother than love interest;)
Gotta say though...I was all kinds of impressed with how you worked with River and her mental state here, first with having her mind mess with her sensory perception to highlight things that are telling her about Blue Sun's evil jiggery-pokery, and then with her flashbacks to her exposure to the Miranda conspiracy and how they managed to warp her ballet training to fit the need for combat abilities. Have to say the imagery for the latter moment was superb and I could imagine Joss & co. using something similar to tell this part of River's story:D
Oh...before I forget: I can't believe it! You actually had Jayne go out and buy River a vibrator?!? Damn...if that doesn't show how crazy (or how caring;D) Jayne is, I don't know what will! I can only imagine the look on the salesperson's face when he purchased it:D
BEB
Gotta say though...I was all kinds of impressed with how you worked with River and her mental state here, first with having her mind mess with her sensory perception to highlight things that are telling her about Blue Sun's evil jiggery-pokery, and then with her flashbacks to her exposure to the Miranda conspiracy and how they managed to warp her ballet training to fit the need for combat abilities. Have to say the imagery for the latter moment was superb and I could imagine Joss & co. using something similar to tell this part of River's story:D
Oh...before I forget: I can't believe it! You actually had Jayne go out and buy River a vibrator?!? Damn...if that doesn't show how crazy (or how caring;D) Jayne is, I don't know what will! I can only imagine the look on the salesperson's face when he purchased it:D
BEB
Thursday, 17 May 2007 22:39
I'll probably need to read this again when I had had a little more sleep...
Interesting look at river's mind. Playing in a world where she wants the benefits of being crazy and of being sane has its own drawbacks.
Looking at Mal's memory, his mental state I take it is between Jaynestown and OoG atm?
Back to River though... using novels as a guideline is waiting for disaster. Like watching a kid play with knives. Just gotta cringe at what could happen.
Some of the simplicity of river's thoughts mixed with other complex thoughts do seem about right for that age range.
Not sure where it will go, but I think you'll keep us entertained.
Jayne... He is playing with fire.
Interesting look at river's mind. Playing in a world where she wants the benefits of being crazy and of being sane has its own drawbacks.
Looking at Mal's memory, his mental state I take it is between Jaynestown and OoG atm?
Back to River though... using novels as a guideline is waiting for disaster. Like watching a kid play with knives. Just gotta cringe at what could happen.
Some of the simplicity of river's thoughts mixed with other complex thoughts do seem about right for that age range.
Not sure where it will go, but I think you'll keep us entertained.
Jayne... He is playing with fire.
Thursday, 17 May 2007 23:37
My first reaction to your description of exploring M/R was like... Oh Shit!is there any quality fic worth reading on this site anymore?
River's crush on Mal is not only appropriate for her age and typical for her unfortunate
thwarted development, but believable in the fragmented context you've portrayed her.
(I am after all the parent of an 11 year old with a shrine to Orlando Bloom in her bedroom and "Mrs. Bloom" scripted all over her school binder, LOL)
My big fear is that Mal, in his infinite wisdom, will fail to recognize
her tender feelings for what they are and hurt her more that any Alliance researcher has. We all know what his track record is on understanding women's feelings.
Jayne's way of solving River's problem is hilarious and very much in character.
I'm curious to what your spin on Inara's back-story will be. We know so little about her and those "clues" never made a lick of sense to me.
Good luck with that one!
River's crush on Mal is not only appropriate for her age and typical for her unfortunate
thwarted development, but believable in the fragmented context you've portrayed her.
(I am after all the parent of an 11 year old with a shrine to Orlando Bloom in her bedroom and "Mrs. Bloom" scripted all over her school binder, LOL)
My big fear is that Mal, in his infinite wisdom, will fail to recognize
her tender feelings for what they are and hurt her more that any Alliance researcher has. We all know what his track record is on understanding women's feelings.
Jayne's way of solving River's problem is hilarious and very much in character.
I'm curious to what your spin on Inara's back-story will be. We know so little about her and those "clues" never made a lick of sense to me.
Good luck with that one!
Friday, 18 May 2007 02:23
I adore the way you write River, especially the way she sees and considers things. I did smile at how she rationalises why she and Mal should be together - both broken. I am hoping therein lies the seeds to healing them both. But oh my, what was Jayne thinking giving River a present like THAT? Did he steal it from Kaylee's bunk I wonder? LOL. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
You can't take the sky from me
Friday, 18 May 2007 03:05
"Like the moon catching the light of the sun. Like water catching the light of the moon." Beautiful imagery here, Mal4prez. Another artfully crafted masterpiece!
I could hardly believe when you inserted your brain into Jayne's character and came up with a totally believable Jayne. Now I can hardly believe you could follow and articulate the thought patterns of an 18 yo paranoid schizophrenic and not only make them completely logical but believable and completely reasonable from her point of view. And your Book is no slouch either. Tell me, do you have multiple personalities that can flit easily from character to character, or are you incredibly evil genius? No wonder BS is going to take you so long - but it sooooo worth it.
The rest will have to be in PM!
I could hardly believe when you inserted your brain into Jayne's character and came up with a totally believable Jayne. Now I can hardly believe you could follow and articulate the thought patterns of an 18 yo paranoid schizophrenic and not only make them completely logical but believable and completely reasonable from her point of view. And your Book is no slouch either. Tell me, do you have multiple personalities that can flit easily from character to character, or are you incredibly evil genius? No wonder BS is going to take you so long - but it sooooo worth it.
The rest will have to be in PM!
Friday, 18 May 2007 03:07
I've been a horrible fan - due to crazy real life I have probably only read half the chapters so far, but I've enjoyed all.
I simply had to take the time to comment because I think you just handled River more perfectly than any writer to date. I also like that you are writing a :cough cough: realistic portrayal of Mal/River. I cannot see a relationship between them as you well know ;) but I *can* see exactly what you're portraying here.
I simply had to take the time to comment because I think you just handled River more perfectly than any writer to date. I also like that you are writing a :cough cough: realistic portrayal of Mal/River. I cannot see a relationship between them as you well know ;) but I *can* see exactly what you're portraying here.
Friday, 18 May 2007 11:16
Mal4prez, I have to ask - picking up on something Katesfriend said about B5, are you writing some B5 stories as well? I am a HUGE fan so would be interested in any B5 you write as well as anything of course set in our wonderful Firefly 'verse. Okay, so I'm addcited to fanfic, sue me. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
You can't take the sky from me
Friday, 18 May 2007 13:32
mal4prez, I am LMAO and didn't realise it was BS not 5 but so happy you are catching up. Stick with it and you will be rewarding in ways you have no words for. I can't reply to you via email as I don't have your email address which is why I couldn't respond about the plot bunny from The Forgotten Realm. Next time you wave please use your email address and I can respond in full. Love your shiny writing, may have to invest in sunglasses! Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
You can't take the sky from me
Friday, 18 May 2007 16:30
Yet awesome installment of Back Stories. I have just finished the last four and they are great. Way too many great parts to name them all, but I love the way River takes it upon herself to fix all the Utex devices. I also think it is totally Jayne to go out and buy her a vibrater. I laughed very hard at that.
My suspicions that Book was once an operative are growing. As are my feelings that Jayne is smarter then he lets on.
I really love how you are weaving in everyone’s past. The clues you are giving are so fun to guess at. It is also brilliant how you are weaving in things that happened in the series but showing them to us from a different perspective. I really cannot wait to find out about Inara. I have suspected her to have evil intentions since the last fic.
I have never really gotten into the Whole Mal/River thing because I just don’t see Mal taking advantage of a young girl. He is too honorable for that. I can however totally see her having a crush on him as you have portrayed. I suspect that even in his weakened mental state, he will reject her. Hopefully it won’t crush her.
My suspicions that Book was once an operative are growing. As are my feelings that Jayne is smarter then he lets on.
I really love how you are weaving in everyone’s past. The clues you are giving are so fun to guess at. It is also brilliant how you are weaving in things that happened in the series but showing them to us from a different perspective. I really cannot wait to find out about Inara. I have suspected her to have evil intentions since the last fic.
I have never really gotten into the Whole Mal/River thing because I just don’t see Mal taking advantage of a young girl. He is too honorable for that. I can however totally see her having a crush on him as you have portrayed. I suspect that even in his weakened mental state, he will reject her. Hopefully it won’t crush her.
Friday, 18 May 2007 19:45
oh, forgot to add to my comment yesterday that this chapter was a bundle of the unexpected.
I like to have a handle on some things. See what is coming up. But every single thing in this chapter threw me. UTex, River with her thoughts, Jayne, even the small discourse with Book were brilliant. and unexpected.
I like to have a handle on some things. See what is coming up. But every single thing in this chapter threw me. UTex, River with her thoughts, Jayne, even the small discourse with Book were brilliant. and unexpected.
Post Your Comments
You must log in to post comments.