{A/N}: Read parts 1-4 if you haven't already, but bear in mind that part 3 is in the hangar for an overhaul since it has...issues. Thanks so much to everyone who has left feedback-- it helps so much! And it makes me grin when I get that little email that tells me somebody read my scribblings!
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“Alright, travelers, everybody strap in or grab onto something. We’ll be leaving atmo in… just under two minutes,” Wash’s voice came over the com. Though I don’t know where we’re heading after that, as our jing-tzahng mei yong-duh captain seems to have disappeared again, he continued mentally, a scowl twisting onto his face as he raised Serenity’s nose into the sky. If he could keep the ship just at the edge of the upper atmosphere until he could figure out where the cruisers the Alliance had undoubtedly brought in were orbiting, they might have a shot at getting out of here unnoticed. Having programmed his trajectory, Wash turned his attention to the map of Lakai and its few moons on the vidscreen.
“How’s it look, husband?” The sound of Zoe’s voice behind him and the touch of her hand on his shoulder made Wash jump a little.
“Not gonna lie, dear, it would be just a bit easier if I had any idea where the diyu I was taking this boat…” Wash’s gaze remained fixed on the map. There. That tiny moon. It was very small and orbited a bit further out than the others, but it was irregularly shaped, and if he could get them there, they could land until any orbiting Feds were on the other side of the world, giving Serenity a clear shot into the black.
“Next stop is Malachi. Got cargo to drop. Not too picky how we get there, though, long as the trip don’t involve Feds.” Mal’s voice cut across the bridge as he joined them. “Whatever you’re doin’ hangin’ here in this excessively low orbit, do it fast. We’re burnin’ an awful amount of fuel fightin’ the world’s gravity.”
“You said no Feds. I’m just taking a moment to make sure I’m not about to fly us straigh
You can't take the sky from me
I think you keep everyone true to character, especially through the dialogue - even if they only have a couple of lines. Very well done! And you know how to keep the tension constant and the reader hooked, woot! The little Star Wars nod was great aswell.
I totally know what you mean about the emails btw, I've only posted one thing here but knowing people liked it made my day. So I'm happy to do the same for you!
This made me giggle, because it's so utterly true. I'm starting to really love this story - you have a knack for creating real tension, which is rare in fanfic, and you draw one into it beautifully. Your descriptions, like Jayne making seven people sound like ten, are excellent. And finally, I love Mal being tender and sweet with Stephanie. Tender and sweet Mal is one of my favorite things on this here planet :)
BEB
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