The words run through my head like water, even if they don’t mean anything anymore. I tell myself they don’t mean anything anymore. Maybe a few hundred more times and it’ll be true.

Our Father, which art in heaven—cuz He sure as hell ain’t starvin’ and freezin’ and dyin’ with us down here. Hallowed be thy name. Hallowed be the names of them I left behind in the Valley, them as bled along side me and them as I let down. Lee, Hudson, Mendez, Kearny, Branton, so many others. Can’t even remember all the names; maybe I didn’t know ‘em to begin with. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, in earth as it is in heaven. Well, maybe it has been done. Maybe the the Alliance is the Thy Kingdom I’ve been told about all these years. But I can’t rightly see why me and mine should have to lay down and die for it to come to pass. Give us this day our daily (weekly) bread (beans), and forgive our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us. Except I don’t forgive them, neither side. Not for runnin’ over us, not for killin’ us, not for leavin’ us like we was already dead. So I guess that’s a null point. And lead us not into temptation—temptation to put a bullet in my brainpan? Temptation not to? But deliver us from evil. Little late for that one, I’m afraid. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. But what’s the use of having power if you don’t use it? If you’re content to sit back and watch them as gave you their very souls slaughter each other over a bit of rocky land ain’t never gonna be worth monkey piss, let alone a man’s blood. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. So that’s where He’s been the last few months. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of they womb, Jesus. Blessed art thou Mary, cuz you didn’t die alone wondering if your son was alive or dead after he took off to war. Blessed art thou Jesus because you only had to take the beatings for a day before they killed you, and your friends walked free. Holy Mary, M