Even Roses Have Thorns

Chapter One: Si sic omnes (if only this could last forever)

Simon Tam sat on the edge of his bed. He was not picking up courage as such, but rather, waiting for his resignation to become total. While he waited, he debated the merits of going to Inara or Zoë for help in putting his thoughts in some order. He was not a fool – he knew that he was not at his most articulate around Kaylee (or, for that matter, around any girl he was attracted to). He wasn’t sure why; Dr. Tam was intuitive, articulate – true, sometimes critical or sarcastic – but articulate – so why did suitor Simon find girls so hard to read, to talk to?

Dr. Tam couldn’t help with suitor Simon’s problem of course. Dr. Tam wouldn’t date his patients, so of course he wouldn’t have problems talking to Kaylee. Inara and Zoë probably could help, but he knew he couldn’t go to them. Inara was too close to Kaylee and Zoë was too fresh in her grief for Simon to consider bothering with relationship concerns. He would have to do it by himself. Ah, there it is. Complete resignation in sight: now he just had to get off the bed and go find Kaylee.

He didn’t move. A small part of him clung to the hope of somehow getting out of going to her. Maybe he should just write a letter? No, not fair when you have to face each other everyday – cowards way out. Maybe he should sleep on it?

A light knock fell on his door, and the door slid back. River’s face appeared, wearing a wry half-smile on her lips, “Insufferable temptation. Stop tormenting yourself.” He noticed that the smile didn’t reach her eyes. He stood up and hugged her, before making his way to the engine room.

He could hear Kaylee tinkering as he approached. Don’t get mad, don’t get flustered, don’t try to be funny. Just say what you mean. He knocked lightly on the open door of the engine room. Kaylee looked up. “Hey.”

“Hi Kaylee.” Simon hesitated. It’s now or never. That’s not true – never mind, focus! He took a deep breath. “May I jo