Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL
Even Roses Have Thorns, Chapter Fifty-Three
Monday, May 21, 2007
Ultimate chapter (i.e. the conclusion). PG13 to be on the safe side (language only). Canon pairings +1 (River/ofc).
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 4737 RATING: 9.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
Even Roses Have Thorns
Chapter Fifty-Three: Saepe creat molles aspera spina rosas. (Often the prickly thorn produces tender roses.)
*** *** ***
, , , , , , , , *** *** *** Inara finished hanging the curtains – swathes of red silk salvaged from her shuttle (and symbolic of good luck, Kaylee had earnestly reminded the superstitious Mal) – at the entrances of the small lounge outside of the infirmary; quietly she took the medical bag Simon had packed for non-emergency first aid, and moved toward the galley. “They settled in all right?” Mal’s head swung up to meet Inara’s eyes as soon as her soft footfalls approached. “Yes, Mal. Everything is fine,” Inara made her voice perfectly calm; certainly calmer than she felt. “Simon knows what he’s doing.” “Simon had help the last time,” Mal reminded his fiancée. “You helped him.” “I helped Petaline, Mal. Zoë’s having the baby. She calls the shots.” “All the doc’s gonna do is catch’em babies anyways, Mal,” Jayne added soothingly, though the look in his eyes did not have all the reassurance he was trying to share. Mal was silent for a long moment, before standing to address the crew. “Alright. We’ve all been over this. We stick to our regular watches, our regular jobs. Anyone as needed ll’be called. Kaylee, you and Jayne run y
Comments
Monday, 21 May 2007 06:39
Anyone pleased with the ending of my little fairytale can address their appreciation to my betas: Jim, Jack and José. All mistakes are mine - except maybe the spelling - once again I refer you to my betas :)
I want to thank everyone who has read the story, but most especially to those of you who have taken the time to comment, publically or privately.
Many of the readers have offered suggestions and advice (and thoughtfully private constructive criticism) - including Tamsibling, Leiasky.
Some of the suggestions and advice have been oddly creative, and often funny - here I'm thinking of ManicGiraffe and Tkid, especially.
BorntoFly and BlueEyedBrigadier deserve a special mention for their consistent support via superlative comments - I cannot deny that I am a glutton for praise. Chazzer, late to the party, belongs to this club (and the pro-booze club, along with MG).
Along the way other voices have come and gone - and I really do appreciate all of those comments, even if you couldn't quite stick with the story to the end to see this (I've been there).
Fanfiction may be a free form of entertainment in monetary terms, but it still often (such as in this case, weighing in at over 100K words) represents a significant cost in terms of time. I appreciate you sharing this time with me, and I hope you enjoyed it at least as much as I enjoyed writing it. The story is far from perfect, and while I have loved some chapters, I would happily set fire to others, except then the story would make even less even sense... so not a good plan.
I can't say that I'm really happy with this chapter - but that's how it goes, I guess.
I'll add the links to previous chapters when I a)sober up and b)unbreak my computer (using my BF's computer at the minute).
I want to thank everyone who has read the story, but most especially to those of you who have taken the time to comment, publically or privately.
Many of the readers have offered suggestions and advice (and thoughtfully private constructive criticism) - including Tamsibling, Leiasky.
Some of the suggestions and advice have been oddly creative, and often funny - here I'm thinking of ManicGiraffe and Tkid, especially.
BorntoFly and BlueEyedBrigadier deserve a special mention for their consistent support via superlative comments - I cannot deny that I am a glutton for praise. Chazzer, late to the party, belongs to this club (and the pro-booze club, along with MG).
Along the way other voices have come and gone - and I really do appreciate all of those comments, even if you couldn't quite stick with the story to the end to see this (I've been there).
Fanfiction may be a free form of entertainment in monetary terms, but it still often (such as in this case, weighing in at over 100K words) represents a significant cost in terms of time. I appreciate you sharing this time with me, and I hope you enjoyed it at least as much as I enjoyed writing it. The story is far from perfect, and while I have loved some chapters, I would happily set fire to others, except then the story would make even less even sense... so not a good plan.
I can't say that I'm really happy with this chapter - but that's how it goes, I guess.
I'll add the links to previous chapters when I a)sober up and b)unbreak my computer (using my BF's computer at the minute).
Monday, 21 May 2007 08:02
Excellent. I have to say, this is one of the first 'birth' fanfics that actually feels long enough! Most tend to have the actual event only lasting maybe an hour or two ...
And ... sequel? If nothing else, just so we can see Kaylee's reaction to Simon's proposal?
And ... sequel? If nothing else, just so we can see Kaylee's reaction to Simon's proposal?
Monday, 21 May 2007 09:44
'Chazzer, late to the party, belongs to this club (and the pro-booze club, along with MG).'
^^ Nice to know I've got myself a rep, lol.
Well, where do I start. A magnificently written ending to a magnificently written story. This ending was just perfect because it really kept the tone of the story - a lot of fics (yeah, I'm probably guilty) have a big fluffy happy ever after last chapter. This story was ansty, and this chapter kept that, but it was tied-up angst, if that makes sense. I especially love the bonds between Jayne and Kaylee, and Simon and Zoe, both have interesting dynamics. I have to say, Jayne as Kaylee's suragate older brother is so much nicer (and more realistic) IMHO than - ick- Jaylee.
And that last little scene, and especially the last paragraph - perfect ending. Obviously as a big S/K fan I like to see of much as them as possible, but in terms of storytelling this was the perfect place to end it. Its not mushy - its hope. And I like it.
And I would say more - because this HUGE and AWESOME story deserves it now that it has ended. But I need to toddle off to the library so I can print of my essay - and then dance around in glee and shoot people with my plastic guns. And no, I won't be getting drunk to celebrate.
THat will be on Friday.
Chazzer, out.
xxxxxxxxxx
P.s. TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN!
^^ Nice to know I've got myself a rep, lol.
Well, where do I start. A magnificently written ending to a magnificently written story. This ending was just perfect because it really kept the tone of the story - a lot of fics (yeah, I'm probably guilty) have a big fluffy happy ever after last chapter. This story was ansty, and this chapter kept that, but it was tied-up angst, if that makes sense. I especially love the bonds between Jayne and Kaylee, and Simon and Zoe, both have interesting dynamics. I have to say, Jayne as Kaylee's suragate older brother is so much nicer (and more realistic) IMHO than - ick- Jaylee.
And that last little scene, and especially the last paragraph - perfect ending. Obviously as a big S/K fan I like to see of much as them as possible, but in terms of storytelling this was the perfect place to end it. Its not mushy - its hope. And I like it.
And I would say more - because this HUGE and AWESOME story deserves it now that it has ended. But I need to toddle off to the library so I can print of my essay - and then dance around in glee and shoot people with my plastic guns. And no, I won't be getting drunk to celebrate.
THat will be on Friday.
Chazzer, out.
xxxxxxxxxx
P.s. TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN!
Monday, 21 May 2007 17:37
Ya know, the ending just made me snort for a while. Despite all he's been through in the past few months, Simon's sense of timing is still on the "WTF?" side. That's totally awesome - it wouldn't be Simon otherwise. And I have to agree: Kaylee's reaction is going to be priceless. Maybe an epilogue?
And now I have a rep in the pro-booze club. My mother will be so proud I made something of myself...
Nothing but praise for this epic. Humor (Jayne's constant offers to whup Kaylee's brothers; Simon's deadpan sarcasm), squickiness (we all know those parts); and lots of action (I'm sure the Alliance medical community just lives in fear of Serenity at this point).
To sum up, I feel I must quote <i>Oliver!</I>: "Please, sir, I want some more?"
And now I have a rep in the pro-booze club. My mother will be so proud I made something of myself...
Nothing but praise for this epic. Humor (Jayne's constant offers to whup Kaylee's brothers; Simon's deadpan sarcasm), squickiness (we all know those parts); and lots of action (I'm sure the Alliance medical community just lives in fear of Serenity at this point).
To sum up, I feel I must quote <i>Oliver!</I>: "Please, sir, I want some more?"
Tuesday, 22 May 2007 02:08
Ya know...for a moment wondered who your betas were - thought mighty hard on whose real names were Jim, Jack and Jose - until I read the part about you not being all that sober - taking up Chazzer's fabulous example, are ya? - and realized your "betas" were Messrs. Beam, Daniels and Cuervo. Which explained the spelling mistakes that unfortunately lost you the last little bit to earn a 10/10 from me. But that's ok...drunk or sober, you rock!
I was all kinds of floored at this final chapter, girlfan. The scene pair-ups of Mal-Inara (in Zoe's bunk, setting up the gear for the newest crew members); Jayne-Kaylee (officially on repair duty but really together so that Kaylee can have her "ge-ge" teach her the ways of the world when it comes to things like life; and Simon-Zoe (their friendship is completely different than what Mal and Zoe have...but you definitely get the feeling that Zoe and Simon need each other's influences to help carry on after their losses and carve out a new future).
What especially blew me away was Jayne's brilliantly phrased and constructed comments about the kind of help Simon will need once his own children are born. Some would want to have Jayne be all dismissive or derogatory about Simon's crap metaphorical poker hand...but Jayne helping Kaylee to see that having his children grow up right next door - and know that they are his children without any doubt - and not be anything more to them but their uncle? A literary plot twist that makes this story, IMO.
Oh...and I too think Simon's timing is hilariously on the "WTF?!" side of the scale. But after all the go se that these two have been through? It's all kinds of shiny:D
BEB
I was all kinds of floored at this final chapter, girlfan. The scene pair-ups of Mal-Inara (in Zoe's bunk, setting up the gear for the newest crew members); Jayne-Kaylee (officially on repair duty but really together so that Kaylee can have her "ge-ge" teach her the ways of the world when it comes to things like life; and Simon-Zoe (their friendship is completely different than what Mal and Zoe have...but you definitely get the feeling that Zoe and Simon need each other's influences to help carry on after their losses and carve out a new future).
What especially blew me away was Jayne's brilliantly phrased and constructed comments about the kind of help Simon will need once his own children are born. Some would want to have Jayne be all dismissive or derogatory about Simon's crap metaphorical poker hand...but Jayne helping Kaylee to see that having his children grow up right next door - and know that they are his children without any doubt - and not be anything more to them but their uncle? A literary plot twist that makes this story, IMO.
Oh...and I too think Simon's timing is hilariously on the "WTF?!" side of the scale. But after all the go se that these two have been through? It's all kinds of shiny:D
BEB
Tuesday, 22 May 2007 10:58
Wow. It's been a long, fun, angsty (beyond belief), twist and bloody rollercoaster ride. I had a hell of a tiume reading a hell of a story by one hell of a writer. I'm still of the opinion that you either have Joss locked up somewhere, or you've through some devious means acquired his brainpan, and are plundering it for all sorts of shiny ideas.
Chazzer's comments about the last scene are absolutely spot on. It's all sorts of ironical that the very thing that strated this whole mess is reborn to end it. The ending isn't mushy or fluffy and all tied up in a neat bow. It's hope. Which personally, I feel is what this whole ride has been about.
Several of these characters have been put through hell and worse, and come out with more than a few wounds to show for it. And yet somehow they're still here, changed (maybe for the better, but maybe not), and still able to find something worth holding onto. Might not have had anything to hold onto earlier in the story, but here at the end, it's there. And it's all kinds of perfect.
Of the last chapter: The way it's been broken up here is superbly fitting and well executed. And of course, you know I love to see any kind of Simon-Zoe interaction in your stories, so extra shiny kudos for making their scenes so...well, extra shiny!
Inara looking over Mal as he went about his Captainy duties was brilliant. It's easy to imagine her understanding him well enough to not get in his way here. You can just imagine him being fidgety and tetchy as all get out. He quietly observing was the right choice.
The Kaylee-Jayne moments...these have grown on me the more I've read them. Firstly, that you've characterised Jayne as a not-complete buffoon alone, and rather as a sensitive sided (if not always sensitive), wiser-than-he-looks oplder brother to Kaylee was genius. Alot of people (my self included) would have probably had Mal or Inara impart some comfort here, but Jayne was a better and more right choice. As such, I just gotta agree 100% with BEB over Jayne's comment over Simon needing help dealing with being seperated from his children. Damn near broke my heart reading that.
Like I said, an incredible ride.
Now give me more.
Chazzer's comments about the last scene are absolutely spot on. It's all sorts of ironical that the very thing that strated this whole mess is reborn to end it. The ending isn't mushy or fluffy and all tied up in a neat bow. It's hope. Which personally, I feel is what this whole ride has been about.
Several of these characters have been put through hell and worse, and come out with more than a few wounds to show for it. And yet somehow they're still here, changed (maybe for the better, but maybe not), and still able to find something worth holding onto. Might not have had anything to hold onto earlier in the story, but here at the end, it's there. And it's all kinds of perfect.
Of the last chapter: The way it's been broken up here is superbly fitting and well executed. And of course, you know I love to see any kind of Simon-Zoe interaction in your stories, so extra shiny kudos for making their scenes so...well, extra shiny!
Inara looking over Mal as he went about his Captainy duties was brilliant. It's easy to imagine her understanding him well enough to not get in his way here. You can just imagine him being fidgety and tetchy as all get out. He quietly observing was the right choice.
The Kaylee-Jayne moments...these have grown on me the more I've read them. Firstly, that you've characterised Jayne as a not-complete buffoon alone, and rather as a sensitive sided (if not always sensitive), wiser-than-he-looks oplder brother to Kaylee was genius. Alot of people (my self included) would have probably had Mal or Inara impart some comfort here, but Jayne was a better and more right choice. As such, I just gotta agree 100% with BEB over Jayne's comment over Simon needing help dealing with being seperated from his children. Damn near broke my heart reading that.
Like I said, an incredible ride.
Now give me more.
Thursday, 24 May 2007 07:32
Marvellous story! You must write more, and I like how you kept the ending open - things could go Simon/Zoe or things could end up as Simon/Kaylee depending on what the reader wanted.
Of course I'm partial to the Simon/Zoe, *grin* but you already knew that.
Of course I'm partial to the Simon/Zoe, *grin* but you already knew that.
Post Your Comments
You must log in to post comments.