Generic S/K Plot Outline
Monday, August 21, 2006
Inspired by a story posted at Fanfiction.net, I present the outline of pretty much every S/K fic out there (including my own, so no one take it personal-like).
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 5213 RATING: 9.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
A/N: I don't own them, but I like to play with them, even in a meta fashion.
Inspired from a sotry on Fanfiction.net, where Nyxie wrote a outline of the generic Simon/Mal plot. I feel somewhat bad for lifting the idea, but as soon as I read it, Simon and Kaylee started jabbering in my head, so here we go.
*******
Kaylee: Hi, Simon.
Simon: Oh, hello, Kaylee. How are you today?
Kaylee: Fine, thank you. And you?
Simon: Tired, worried about River, and now beating myself up over both my inability to help her and my inability to have a loving, tender conversation with you. But, of course, I would never say this out loud, as I am a strong, independent man who needs no help. Instead, I'll ask if I can help you.
Kaylee: Oh, I was just dropping by to say hello, because despite the fact that this ship frequently falls apart at plot-convenient points, I don't find it necessary to do preventative maintenance unless I'm angry with you and hiding in the engine room. I prefer to fritter away my time on my unrequited quest for hot doctor love. But in response to your question, I will make an incredibly obvious sexual pass at you.
Simon: Excellent. Of course I will fail to notice any innuendo short of you forcibly taking my pants off, but I was just telling myself how today I would take the leap and tell you my true feelings for you and my future plans for our wedded bliss at the next opportunity.
Kaylee: By all means, proceed.
Simon: However, as this is early in the plot and no one has been put in a coma or shot, I'll instead make a dryly witty comment that you will invariably misconstrue as an insult to you, upon which you will curse me in Chinese and storm away in a huff to hide in the engine room. I will look after you with sad eyes, confused and sorry.
Kaylee: Of course. I'll be sure to pass both the captain and Jayne on my way there, so they can notice my anger and hurt and come threaten you.
Simon: Perfect. *Tells supposed joke but actually insults Kaylee*
Kaylee: *Bursts i
It's just packed with little details, and so true! Thanks!
Yes, I do recall that. ;)
Book always cracks me up. No one ever seems to know what to do with him. Even Joss finally just killed him off.
Wash: I will fly the ship like a champ and make glib comments about "leaf" and "wind" as a shout-out to everyone who's seen the movie.
That's what I'm talkin' about!
Mal: I am wounded. I will retreat to the bridge, where I will grudgingly admit you have a point. *Strides away*
LOL. maybe you could do another outline, maybe a Rayne one or a Jaylee? want to see your jayne ideas!
This one was easy, since if you squint, you can see the entire plot for "Shiny New Toys" in there somewhere.
But yes, I love dry humor. And if someone wants to do a Jaylee, have at it! (Mordsith, Washie, Lucas? I'm lookin' at you!)
Loved it!
Why not try a post-BDM one? There's definitely enough fodder there. :)
(LMFAO)
I loved every minute of this.
I'm a fan.
*passes out*
*revives*
*busts a gut laughing again*
This is without question the funniest Firefly piece I've ever seen. You've hit just about all the major points dead-on. Why'd you have to kill poor little Kaylee, though? Why not bring in an original character nobody cares about, kill him off, and make Kaylee and Simon think deep and hard about how they really feel for each other?
Still, this is a scream. Have any M/I or W/Z templates in mind? ;)
The best part?
[It's all very moving. But since we don't get stirring music or visual cheesecake in print, we settle for a eight paragraph internal monologue from Simon]
Because even if I don't read a lot of S/K, I can so absolutely hear the eight paragraph internal monologue. *gigglesnort*
Inara: Oh my, we're to this scene already? Very well. Simon, you're needed in the engine room. Kaylee has developed a case of Plot.
You sure you're not channeling Whedon and Dave Barry at the same time? Or that you're not one of them?
Brilliant!
No, I'm not one of them, but I do enjoy the hell out of the dialogue from both of them. Thank you!
HEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
because despite the fact that this ship frequently falls apart at plot-convenient points, I don't find it necessary to do preventative maintenance unless I'm angry with you and hiding in the engine room
~BWAHAHAHAHAHA
Jayne: Is this where we go threaten Simon?
Mal: You bet. You get Vera and I'll warm up the airlock.
Jayne: Shiny.
~Wonderfull stuff here Giraffe
River: I would say 'You boob', but I am currently crazy. So instead I'll babble something cryptic yet meaningful to close the scene.
~If I keep posting all the stuff I find hi-larious about this piece I will end up re-posting the entire thing. I do love River's lines so much though.
Kaylee has developed a case of Plot.
~ROTFL
The entire Wash/Zoe anti-angst scene was spectacular.
Book: I am not involved in the plan and do not wish to be involved in the plan, and since most people forget about me in the average S/K fic, I'll go sit quietly in the corner.
~This is a very valid point, there should be more Book in Silee works.
Had I not been at work while reading this I would have literally burst out laughing. Great stuff!
The world needs more of those parodies, Rayne anyone?
I can't stop giggling.
This one just slays me:
SIMON: I love you, Kaylee! Consider yourself held!
Also, I read "8 PAGES of internal Simon's monologue" instead of "8 paragraphs" at first. :)
Jayne: Whoops!
Explosion: *BOOM!*
Mal: The plan is no longer going perfectly.
You slay me Giraffe! I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep tonight, I just can't stop laughing!
Inara: Oh my, we're to this scene already?
haha this was very very hi-larious and snarky, manic. please do a mal/inara?
Anyway, yes, I saw the "basic plot outline" to "Shiny New Toys" here. ;) My favorite line... huh. Lemme try to pick.
Inara: Oh my, we're to this scene already? Very well. Simon, you're needed in the engine room. Kaylee has developed a case of Plot.
Simon: Again? She had that last week, when she caught a rare disease that had no known cure. Until I cured it anyway.
Inara: Yes, but it's a different strain of Plot this week.
Simon: On my way.
Pure gold!
Lookin' for your next piece. :)
"Consider yourself held" may just win out, by a smidgen.
Very, very funny stuff! Most excellent.
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