A/N: Yep, I'm back writing chapters for this behemoth of a fan fiction after a brief (i.e. long) hiatus. For the full story, read my latest blog entitled: Antebellum: Back and with a Vengeance.
Since it's been a while, I encourage folks new to this series to start from the beginning just by clicking on my name up there. Or read my aforementioned blog which contains a chapter by chapter recap of everything that's happened so far.
In either case, enjoy, friends!
P.S. This one goes out to AgentRouka and everyone else who has been reading. Candle wax, friends!
Book One – Chapter Ten
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The stars were different. That put Mal’s stomach slightly to rest.
Everything else about Neo Sombra made him want to unload his newly acquired dinner all over the thick grass. The grass was thickest by the edge of the pond where Mal stood, so of course that made him the most sick. He remembered having a pond like this one very close to his mother’s house when he was little. He would often try fishing by there. There weren’t any fish in it, none measuring more than three inches or so, but he would pretend anyway as the moss on the surface slowly grew around his fishing line.
But the pond was gone. He was sure of it. And this was something Mal was having trouble reminding himself of at that particular moment. Looking into the water and seeing a different face than the thirteen-year-old face that had greeted him in the past made him feel better for seconds at a time.
The dinner was good. That is, the food was good. The atmosphere understandably was less than five stars. Mal did his part to stay quiet, and dutifully finished his meal, thanking his hostess, Carolina, every now and again. Jayne shoveled the steak into his mouth as if his paycheck depended on it. Kaylee chatted small talk with Carolina and James’ two girls, Julie and Emma. Simon and Inara, both being the well-bred Alliance-born citizens they were, were the pictures
I hope you keep posting regularly!
Mal and Kaylee's conversation was just SPOT ON! I could see both actors saying those lines.
Zoe and James were lovely as well.
Hop Simon gets the chance to give that necklace to Kaylee. I assume it will be along with a wedding proposal?
Eager to see what kind of action is coming up too!
Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
All of which means I'm really really glad that you're still working on this. I hope your schedule becomes a bit easier, too. You're good, and we need all the good stories we can get.
Frankly, I thought Zoe's reaction to James' comment was too mild by half. Army buddy or not, she should've punched him in the face.
As for Mal, well, I'm starting to believe that man's scars run so far into his soul that they won't ever heal. Which makes me very sad, because such a good man shouldn't live with that kind of monkey on his back for the rest of his life.
And I really liked Kaylee's observation that he was starting to go a bit gray. They are getting older, aren't they?
I can't decite what it the more powerful image... Mal struggling with the world he's buried and finding comfort in the good memories, aided by the unbelievable sweetness that is Kaylee, who is probably the epitome of pure, childlike happiness...
... or Zoe, caught between the two extremes, a man who made himself a slave to escaping the world or one who went a built a shrine to a dead planet. Not that, you know, there is much of a question for her...
I love the last line most especially. They are both right and while they may say the right things to keep things smooth (eventually), they just can't reconcile that gulf between them. James' anger is one of my favorite things about this story because it's so justified. What right do they have to put his family in danger like that?
And yet, who is he to judge the life they chose?
Pretty, pretty, pretty.
Now I'm all hungry for more. Where's the next course? *g*
I love the way you wrote Zoe, it just felt really true to character.
Your Mal, pondering the memories by the pond was very beautiful. Softly written and showing just the right amount of soul scars.
Very, Very good!
'When he asks me.' Great line.
Well done that man.
Keep it up!
Mind-Blowing!, Right back on target without a loss of character. Looking forward to more... 8-)
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