Gender and Violence and Blame

POSTED BY: Magonsdaughter
UPDATED: Tuesday, August 25, 2026 20:14
VIEWED: 35151
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Thought I would start a new thread that could take us away from gun topics and into wider discussions.

Discuss as you will.

Here is my contribution.

Clerics who blame women for being victims of violence.

Quote:

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Women bring violence on themselves: priest

Date
December 28, 2012 - 5:55AM


A Catholic priest has sparked outrage in Italy by claiming women bring domestic violence on themselves by dressing provocatively and neglecting housework, Italian media report.

"How often do we see girls and mature women going around scantily dressed and in provocative clothes?" Piero Corsi said in a Christmas message posted on the door of his church in the small town of San Terenzio in northwest Italy.

"They provoke the worst instincts, which end in violence or sexual abuse. They should search their consciences and ask: did we bring this on ourselves?" it read.

The leaflet, a copy of which was posted online sparking a wave of outrage across the country, said the 118 women killed in acts of domestic violence in Italy in 2012 had pushed men to their limits.
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"Is it possible that all of a sudden men have gone mad? We don't believe it," Corsi wrote.

"The fact is that women are increasingly provocative, they become arrogant, they believe themselves to be self-sufficient and end up exacerbating the situation," he said.

"Children are abandoned to their own devices, homes are dirty, meals are cold or fast food, clothes are filthy," he added.

The region's bishop, Luigi Ernesto Palletti, stepped in as the story went viral and said Corsi's words were "unacceptable and go against the church's common feeling on the matter".

Amid protests from women's rights and anti-violence campaigners, Corsi was widely reported by Italian media to have apologised to his congregation and handed in his resignation.

He later denied the reports, saying a resignation letter sent to news agencies was "probably a fake", adding that he was going to "take a rest" but had no intention of stepping down.

"I don't know whether you're a queer or not, but what do you feel when you see a naked woman?" he asked a reporter for Rai Radio.

"Are women themselves not causing harm by unveiling themselves like this?"

The mayor of San Terenzio said the message had left the town's residents "dumbfounded and indignant", while an elderly female resident told Sky Italia television that Corsi "should keep a low profile as he has lots of secrets he would not wish to come out".

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Reminds me of the Muslim cleric in Australia who said something similar a few years ago.

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/nation/muslim-leader-blames-women
-for-sex-attacks/story-e6frg6nf-1111112419114

And then there are increasing numbers of gang rapes on women in India. This woman was blamed as well.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/jul/23/why-india-bad-for-women

The best bit was that a local news cameraman filmed it for 45 minutes without intervening.

And in Scotland

http://aberdeenvoice.com/2012/11/students-attack-victim-blaming-cultur
e-around-sexual-violence/

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There are people who, when confronted with repressed urges, will resort to violence, because they have learned violence as an acceptable method of coping. Lots of sick puppies out there.

On the other hand, I hesitate to read "don't walk alone" as a subtle form of blaming the victim. There are certain things that are just common sense, given the imperfect world we live in. It's like "lock your door," or "put on your seatbelt." Don't wear low necklines or kiss your gay boyfriend in Muslim countries or fundie churches. Don't flaunt your interracial relationship at a KKK rally. There are people who don't know how to handle that. If you know some people are weak and/or wrong in certain areas, don't push their buttons, just because you think they ought not to have those buttons. I'm not saying if you provoke them, you deserve what you get. But it makes sense to not provoke them or give them an opportunity/excuse to go nuts until you're sure you can be safe.



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Disobedience is not an issue if obedience is not the goal.

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I have a large amount of experiance handling Domestic Violence cases and I've had the privilage of working with some great women from the Rape Crisis Center, DOVE program, and Victim's Assistance. Here's what I've learned:

Do women bring the violence upon themselves? Yes, yes they do.

Is it because they dress sexy or act slutty? No.

Why? Its because they make really, really stupid choices.

First of all they choose to date and/or marry violent assholes. Make no mistake, 9 times out of 10 they know that person well enough to know they get violent, yet they choose to pursue or continue the relationship anyway.

Second, they don't protect themselves. Guy hits girl, girl forgives guy, guy hits girl, girl forgives guy, guy hits girl, police called and guy arrested, girl forgives guy and asks me to drop charges, guy hits girl...

The first time they hit a woman the woman should END the relationship. Marriage, kids, whatever it is OVER. If you choose not to then you are responsible for the consequences of that choice.

There are lots of guys out there that don't hit women, so if your with a guy that does hit you...its on you.

Now there are lots of reasons why women stay with men who abuse them. Sometimes they are raised that way, some think they can 'change' the man, some think they deserve it, some think they can't do better. Women need to confront these things head on instead of pretending that this is all on the men.

I encourage my police to document everything on a DV case. Why? Because my best witness will probably flake out.

H

Hero...must be right on all of this. ALL of the rest of us are wrong. Chrisisall, 2012

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I note for the record that in ten years of prosecuting Domestic Violence cases ALL the female victims have ONE thing in common:

The do not own a firearm. I have NEVER met a women who owns a firearm who has been the victim of Domestic Violence. And I mean really own, as in its their gun, they bought it or have it for themselves. (Not fake own it as in my husband beat the crap out of me and got convicted of DV so he can't own or possess a gun, but I love him so we're back together and he loves to hunt so we'll just say the guns belong to me but golly I don't even know what kind or gun it is or what bullets go in it or anything.)

Lots of the men own weapons. I've taken and destroyed hundreds of guns from the men.

H

Hero...must be right on all of this. ALL of the rest of us are wrong. Chrisisall, 2012

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I also want to note that Domestic Violence is not only a man to women problem.

Female on male and same sex Domestic Violence is simply poorly reported, poorly document, disrespected, and often ignored. I've found no difference in those few cases that actually proceed to trial. They are identical in nearly every respect to traditional DV's and people should treat them (case and victim alike) with the respect and professionalism they deserve.

I actually had another Prosecutor argue with me that men could NOT be victims of Domestic Violence unless they are gay. That's just stupid, typical stupid bias attitudes that sometimes enter into gender and race discussions.

H

Hero...must be right on all of this. ALL of the rest of us are wrong. Chrisisall, 2012

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Quote:

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Originally posted by Hero:
There are lots of guys out there that don't hit women, so if your with a guy that does hit you...its on you.

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Does all the blame go to the woman? No. This is not a 50-50 or 70-30 kind of event. There's responsibility on both sides.

If a woman chooses to stay with an abuser, she's 100% responsible for getting abused. If a man chooses to abuse a woman, he's 100% responsible for abusing the woman.

Keep in mind that while I prefer to prosecute the person who committed the abuse I have and will prosecute the victim for taking actions that allow the abuse to continue.

What!?! How?

Yep, man beats woman. Police respond. Woman says man beat me. In Court woman says man didn't beat me, 'I fell down' or 'police made me write that statement', they love that one...none of which does not explain my bloody knose and bruises. Charges dismissed against man, charges for Falsification filed against woman. Why? Because she either lied in court or lied to the police, either way she lied and that is a crime. BTW, a conviction for Falsification kills her credibilty for any future DV claim (the 'bitch be lie'n' defense).

You should also consider that Juries, for whatever reason, hate Domestic Violence cases. Had a guy kick in a locked door to his baby momma ex-girlfriend's house and go after her with a chef's knife (a big, heavy kitchen knife, razor sharp with an 11" blade, really, like a $500 knife, nicest knife I've seen except on Iron Chef). The Defense was the classic 'bitch deserved it' defense...also known as 'blame the victim'. Jury hung...5-3 for Not Guilty. All three men wanted to convict. My nice moms, nurse, school teachers said 'she really did deserve it'. Go figure.

Had a Jury tell me once on a Not Guilty, yes she was assaulted and yes, he pulled her hair out by the roots, but we think she embellished how much it really hurt (in other words, you proved your case, but we're going to ignore that). That from a trial with the most compelling victim testimony I've ever had. I even had her hair as evidence. Blood, bruises, medical records, a proven history of violence, really great pictures...Not Guilty. I've won more then my share, but losses like this piss me off. I reported her husband to Homeland Security after the trial was over...that made me feel better.

H

Hero...must be right on all of this. ALL of the rest of us are wrong. Chrisisall, 2012

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I think you're scoping this discussion a little too narrowly, HERO. Males, in general, are more violent than women in almost ALL societies. But males are also violent against other males, and males also suffer from high victim-hood rates due to other males.

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Well, I got about as far as "A Catholic priest" and knew what the rest would be. Scanned a bit, but haven't had my breakfast yet, so reading the whole thing would make me gag.

Bear in mind the whole Catholic church is centered around the idea of keeping women DOWN, and always hsa been, so there's no surprise there.

Doesn't mean it isn't sick, because it is. But I expect no less.

Any chance we can get back to the original discussion, or has the non-hero, non-lawyer taken over the entire thread?

Tit for tat got us where we are today. If we want to be grownups, we need to resist the ugliness. If we each did, this would be a better reflection on Firefly and a more welcome place. I will try.

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