Anatomy of a bad SF movie: Precisely what made it fail?
POSTED BY: chrisisall
UPDATED: Wednesday, November 10, 2010 01:40
VIEWED: 14308
PAGE 9 of 11
Quote:
Originally posted by GWEK:
I'm sure someone COULD do an excellent, completely-scientifically-sound movie about an asteroid/meteor crashing into Earth, but would it be as entertaining as Bruce Willis yelling "I will dig that hole! I will make eight hundred feet!!!"
I think not!
Scarily, if you do a completely-scientifically-sound movie about a huge meteor crashing into Earth. . . The huge meteor will crash into Earth.
(At this point, Bruce Willis is pretty much the only "plan" we've got.)
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We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.
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Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:
Case # 13:
(Maybe not the right picture)
The Island
Apparent Causes of Suckitude-
A) Logan's Run much, Mr. Bay?
B) Scarlett not naked?
C) Ummm... what was the point?
Analysis:
A- Shamelessly copying s**t is the sincerest form of flattery.
B- Major FAIL.
C- That we need to mindlessly go to & rent stupid movies to fuel the sagging economy-? That set-pieces make a film? That millions of dollars can be spent on this kind of crap instead of planning a manned Mars mission?
Bay delivers- to the wrong address.
Next case............
The laughing Chrisisall
I actually consider that Bay's best film. Not his most FUN film (that, for me is still The Rock, with Armageddon as a close second), but this was a decent flick with some heart and brains (well, for a Bay movie).
I actually blame the failure of this movie at the box office for the tremendous suckitude we got from his Transformer flicks. He tried to make a movie with a bit of depth, got spanked for it, and reflexively made two of the dumbest lowest common denominator movies ever.
"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."
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Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:Quote:LOL, SO, is THIS the piece of crap movie that YOU like, Story? YOUR guilty pleasure?
Originally posted by Storymark:
Waterworld gets a bad rep from fanboys, but it has it's moments, made decent money, got decent reviews
The enjoyable cinematic dregs that make YOU like the rest of us?
Just a regular schlep?
COOL!
The laughing Chrisisall
Oh, I wouldn't go that far. I havn't watched it in a decade. I was just adding context.
You want a piece of crap that I do enjoy watching, look no farther than any of the Highlander sequels.
"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."
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The Matrix sequels: The success of the first movie was founded on the idea that we are all trapped in a meaningless cubicle existence. Only in our most secret comic book fantasies do we dream that the escapes we find from our boring lives (video games, internet surfing, code writing) will suddenly become valuable. We will enter a new existence of meaning, where our knowledge that all this is shallow and vapid, our *belief* that the world we live in is bullshit constructed by those who mean only to use us for their own gain, gives us superpowers. Merely recognizing the shallowness of our society allows us bend the laws of physics…
The mistake the sequels made was focusing on The Real World. They should have stayed in the dichotomy of those poor souls trapped in the Matrix. That was the fantasy that pulled in so many viewers: the idea of escape, of the traits that make us outcasts somehow becoming strengths.
Armageddon: are you kidding me Gwek? That is still the A #1 example of the non-stop Hollywood thrill ride that, by the 100th consecutive moment of “Oh-my-god-we’re-all-gonna-die-now-soon-and-I-do-mean-ALL-of-us” had me lolling back in my theater seat and somehow managing to roll my eyes while I yawned.
Not to mention that I went to the movie with petroleum engineers, who damned near jumped out of their seats yelling: “You would NEVER use that drill bit!”
The Day after Tomorrow: Next to Armageddon and the Core, possibly the worst science movie ever. But dammit, I LIKE this one! So I take back the disgust I aimed at you, Gwek.
Sunshine: What? A slash ending? (Careful how you use that word LOL!)
Waterworld: My ex loved this. I saw his preference only as a sign of his psychological issues. Possibly the worst movie ever.
OK, which movies did I miss? Star Wars. Yeah. OK. Bad points. But I was a little bitty thing when episode 4 came out. How can I not love it?
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hmm-burble-blah, blah-blah-blah, take a left
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What I particualrly liked about Serenity was it's opening.
No one really needed to know who our heroes were because the opening gave a prologue as to why we're scattered (as humans) to the four winds - Earth That Was - which makes it sci-fi from the get go.
Then it goes (seemlessly I might add) into River's story, which takes us into the story of our BDH. Brilliantly set up and executed.
My theory on why it failed at the box office:
1-No big-name stars (I dare say that had Castle existed before this movie was released we would be analysing Serenity 2) and,
B- It was not promoted sufficiently as to create a buzz outside the Browncoat circle of influence (which is needed to reach Avatar numbers)
One can dream!
SGG
Tawabawho?
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My theory: Serenity failed because it tried to be an epic action movie, rather than letting us fall in love with the characters and the world the way the series did. Joss scrapped so much goodness because he had to choose a category, and "action" was the easiest one to go with.
Another good idea destroyed by those in charge of marketing.
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hmm-burble-blah, blah-blah-blah, take a left
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The Matrix sequels: The success of the first movie was founded on the idea that we are all trapped in a meaningless cubicle existence. Only in our most secret comic book fantasies do we dream that the escapes we find from our boring lives (video games, internet surfing, code writing) will suddenly become valuable. We will enter a new existence of meaning, where our knowledge that all this is shallow and vapid, our *belief* that the world we live in is bullshit constructed by those who mean only to use us for their own gain, gives us superpowers. Merely recognizing the shallowness of our society allows us bend the laws of physics…
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I like your take on this, but I would like to take it a step further, If I may............
meaningless cubicle existence while being controlled by the very things (machines) that we are told sets us free. The machines are given human characteristics (one of which is hate) and we are susbsequently enslaved.
Once we free our minds we can do extordinary things which "allows us to bend the laws of physics" it is the true meaning of being free - having ultimately control of ourselves through the power of positive thinking. Part and parcel to that power is LOVE. A truly powerful emotion that gives us the strength of 10 grinches, plus 2.
The mistake the sequels made was focusing on The Real World. They should have stayed in the dichotomy of those poor souls trapped in the Matrix. That was the fantasy that pulled in so many viewers: the idea of escape, of the traits that make us outcasts somehow becoming strengths.
I agree, plus the fact that they took themselves way too seriously - instead of expounding on the story of the "everyman" finding the strength within to break the bonds of "enslavement" by the very things we create, the W Brothers became distracted by the entrapments of of action/sci-fi flick. Especially telling was the Revolutions story that seemed interminable. They ventured so far off course that it became an entirely different movie failing to deliver on its compelling message of man's redemption to himself. Hence the killing off of 2 beloved characters that drove the story (sound familiar?).
SGG
Tawabawho?
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RIGHT ON!!!
(I'm just a little emotional right now, ok? Ya'll throwing all this stuff at me, man! Look, I mean, after this is over, can I like get a hug from you or something?)
LOL, RLOL (really laughing out loud)
Thanks, Chris I needed that!
SGG
Tawabawho?
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(At this point, Bruce Willis is pretty much the only "plan" we've got.)
Seriously, what else can we do?
Bruce just has to smirk that smirk of his; and haul off with a haymaker.
Next!
SGG
Tawabawho?
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Case #14 (we are still counting, aren't we?)
The Fifth Element
Apparent Causes of Suckitude:
1- Chris Tucker, as an ambguious and loud radio personality
2- Rather questionable make up for monsters/villians
3- Not enough Milla Jovovich
Analysis:
The movie did not take itself too seriously, hence the rather over-the-top performance by Chris Tucker as Robby Rodd, complete with leopard leotard suit. A great soundtrack, coupled with superb editing, makes this a movie everyone loves but no one will admit has a place deep in the heart. Once again, not enough Milla Jovovich. Her minutes on the screen were limited but riveting with her kick-ass take no prisoners action sequences. I can only see Summer taking this role and making it better. Didn;t quite make my Top 10 but only due to the rather silly script, which BTW is what makes it charming.
"Leeloo Dallas, multipass"
SGG
Tawabawho?
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