Anatomy of a bad SF movie: Precisely what made it fail?
POSTED BY: chrisisall
UPDATED: Wednesday, November 10, 2010 01:40
VIEWED: 14308
PAGE 7 of 11
Case#12:
Sunshine
Apparent Causes of Suckitude-
A) So, re-start the Sun, eh? Is that like blowing on the embers of a dwindling camp fire? In a nucular way, I mean?
B) Alien much, Mr. Boyle?
C) Don't most folk COOK TO DEATH in unshielded Solar radiation?
Analysis:
A- The director clearly hired the science advisers from Rolland Emmerich's team for this flick.
B- Yeah, this was obviously a BLINDING re-make of the Ridley Scott classic.
C- Statistics reveal that one person in a googleplex will not die in this way, but instead go nutz & get real strong & look gross. That must have been The One...
So, yet ANOTHER pretty waste of time. *yawn* I was terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.
Next case....??
The laughing Chrisisall
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Sunshine
Thought it was very good, up until the lame hack and slash ending.
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Quote:Scientific bs aside, yeah, it had me goin' 'till that part as well.
Originally posted by Mutt999:
Sunshine
Thought it was very good, up until the lame hack and slash ending.
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Back to the Future 2, and 3.
They were not as good as the first one.
Matrix 2, and 3.
Umm, they sucked.
Predators.
Non-memorable story.
King Kong(2002)
Pretty to look at, but a heartless, and unnecessary remake.
Aliens Vs. Predator
The best the writers could come up with was that? I can bang out a better screenplay in a weeks time. CGI from hell.
A.I.
Spielberg's quintessential nail in the coffin movie. He had Kubrick's blessing but not his vision. Colossal fail.
Star Wars episodes 1-3
"I hate sand, it gets in everything"
Anakin Skywalker
---------------------------------------------------------------- 
70's TV FOREVER
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Quote:A rare disagreement (of a sort) here; individually you're right, but taken as a whole, all three are a great story IMO.
Originally posted by OPPYH:
Back to the Future 2, and 3.
They were not as good as the first one.
Quote:While I kinda liked seeing A.I., I also feel like I might never watch it again. So, I guess I don't disagree on any particular point regarding the rest.
Matrix 2, and 3.
Umm, they sucked.
Predators.
Non-memorable story.
King Kong(2002)
Pretty to look at, but a heartless, and unnecessary remake.
Aliens Vs. Predator
The best the writers could come up with was that? I can bang out a better screenplay in a weeks time. CGI from hell.
A.I.
Spielberg's quintessential nail in the coffin movie. He had Kubrick's blessing but not his vision. Colossal fail.
Star Wars episodes 1-3
"I hate sand, it gets in everything"
Anakin Skywalker
The laughing Chrisisall
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Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:Quote:A rare disagreement (of a sort) here; individually you're right, but taken as a whole, all three are a great story IMO.
Originally posted by OPPYH:
Back to the Future 2, and 3.
They were not as good as the first one.Quote:While I kinda liked seeing A.I., I also feel like I might never watch it again. So, I guess I don't disagree on any particular point regarding the rest.
Matrix 2, and 3.
Umm, they sucked.
Predators.
Non-memorable story.
King Kong(2002)
Pretty to look at, but a heartless, and unnecessary remake.
Aliens Vs. Predator
The best the writers could come up with was that? I can bang out a better screenplay in a weeks time. CGI from hell.
A.I.
Spielberg's quintessential nail in the coffin movie. He had Kubrick's blessing but not his vision. Colossal fail.
Star Wars episodes 1-3
"I hate sand, it gets in everything"
Anakin Skywalker
The laughing Chrisisall
I would say that BttF 2 and 3 just didn't have the same feel as the original. Most likely because they were filmed at the same time.
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Quote:
Originally posted by GWEK:
Not a comment on your analysis, but your choice. If you're throwing out WATERWORLD, what's next? ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES? PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE?
www.stillflying.net: "Here's how it might have been..."
Waterworld gets a bad rep from fanboys, but it has it's moments, made decent money, got decent reviews, and all the dialog is written by Joss. It aint THAT bad (okay, Hopper's character is...).
"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."
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Quote:Well, and, four full years after the first...
Originally posted by Stegasaurus:
I would say that BttF 2 and 3 just didn't have the same feel as the original. Most likely because they were filmed at the same time.
Given that, I love 'em all!
The laughing Chrisisall
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Quote:Holy Cow, I did not know that!
Originally posted by Storymark:
Waterworld ... dialog is written by Joss.
but it still sucks
EDIT TO ADD: Bwahahahahah, you *MUST* read this review of the movie:
http://www.mutantreviewers.com/rwaterworld.html
The laughing Chrisisall
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Quote:
Originally posted by Storymark:Quote:
Originally posted by GWEK:
Not a comment on your analysis, but your choice. If you're throwing out WATERWORLD, what's next? ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES? PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE?
www.stillflying.net: "Here's how it might have been..."
Waterworld gets a bad rep from fanboys, but it has it's moments, made decent money, got decent reviews, and all the dialog is written by Joss. It aint THAT bad (okay, Hopper's character is...).
"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."
I don't know... I saw WATERWORLD again earlier this year, and watched it with a VERY open mind--and it was pretty terrible. It's draggy and slow... and draggily slow. A lot of the plot makes very little sense and the acting is about as subtle as an episode of SCOOBY-DOO.
On the other hand, I think THE POSTMAN is actually very under-rated. I'm not saying that it's brilliant, but it's pretty compelling. That, actually, is why I was willing to give WATERWORLD another chance.
www.stillflying.net: "Here's how it might have been..."
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