Anatomy of a bad SF movie: Precisely what made it fail?
POSTED BY: chrisisall
UPDATED: Wednesday, November 10, 2010 01:40
VIEWED: 14308
PAGE 6 of 11
Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:Quote:What can I say? I likes me my cheese w/extra cheese on occasion. Never said it was a good movie, remember...
Originally posted by Storymark:Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:Quote:I kinda liked The Day After Tomorrow.
Originally posted by cljohnston108:
Well, I myself can't stand Roland Emmerich's work
The laughing Chrisisall
The laughing Chrisisall
That's fine and all, but when you attack far, FAR better movies as "failures", then talk about liking utter crap..... credibility and all, ya know?
"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."
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Quote:I'd rather watch a movie that was designed as cheese, and is totally successful at it, than a movie designed as great SF, and is only partially successful at that.
Originally posted by Storymark:
That's fine and all, but when you attack far, FAR better movies as "failures", then talk about liking utter crap..... credibility and all, ya know?
The laughing Chrisisall
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jongsstraw:
This always bothered me about the "great Star Wars trilogy".....
The last Jedis, Obi Wan and Yoda split up the twins of Darth Vader (Annakin Skywalker) so that neither Darth or the Emperor would ever know of their existence. Then they drop Luke off with Annakin's stepbrother Owen Lars, on Annakin's home planet of Tatooine, and he gets raised as Luke SKYWALKER. Might have been a wise idea to change his name, right? Before the modern-day "rebellion" what was Darth Vader doing anyhow? One trip to Tatooine would have revealed the truth about his son, but apparently he never went.
Also, in the first Star Wars, Leia is captured and brought on board Vader's ship. He physically touches her and holds her as her planet is being destroyed, but feels nothing from her? Cannot feel that she's his daughter? Sorry, that just don't fly.
I know we're not turning this thread into a gripe fest about the SW franchise, but I just wanted to chime my own *snicker* about this series.
When we first see Luke, his attire is essentially Jedi attire. Uncle Owen and Ben Kenobi are wearing similar dress. All through Star Wars (let's not call it "A New Hope" just for my sake, please) Luke's clothing changes once when he dons the Storm Trooper's armor, and then again when he's in pilot garb.
So why is it that when we see "Phantom Menace" and on, ALL Jedi appear to wear the "Tattooine Commoner's Spring Fashion" line?
Ok, back to your regularly schedualed Suckitude Listings...
-Steg
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Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:Quote:I'd rather watch a movie that was designed as cheese, and is totally successful at it, than a movie designed as great SF, and is only partially successful at that.
Originally posted by Storymark:
That's fine and all, but when you attack far, FAR better movies as "failures", then talk about liking utter crap..... credibility and all, ya know?
The laughing Chrisisall
Cool, I guess I just have higher standards. ;)
"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."
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Case #11:
The Day After Tomorrow
Apparent Causes of Suckitude-
A) The movie makes it seem like we could just suddenly 'slip' into a major Ice Age any moment. This seems kinda like crap.
B) Just HOW MANY miles CAN a person walk in a BLIZZARD with limited provisions & shelter, anyway???
C) The wolf thing... unnecessary, but also, really fake-looking. Wasn't a lot of money spent on the CGI?
Analysis:
A- An Ice Age jumping on us THAT QUICK is about as likely as sound in space. When the science advisers on that movie finally graduate Grade School, they will probably realize this.
B- Well, I once walked from Richmond to Trenton in a hurricane in less than 2 hours (barefoot), but then of course, I woke up.
C- The wolves in the hand drawn cell animation of Ralph Bakshi's Fire And Ice looked more realistic.
There's nothing worse than a narratively useless scene that LOOKS BAD TOO!!!
So, stupid eye-candy from a high-paid hack. At least it had Dennis Quaid.
Next case...
The laughing Chrisisall
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Quote:What are these "standards" of which you speak? I don't believe I have any, at least, not on me. Are they big?
Originally posted by Storymark:
I just have higher standards. ;)
Where can I get some?
The laughing Chrisisall
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Quote:
Originally posted by Stegasaurus:
So why is it that when we see "Phantom Menace" and on, ALL Jedi appear to wear the "Tattooine Commoner's Spring Fashion" line?
-Steg
That actually makes perfect sense. As an order of humble warrior-monks who would presumably need to blend in with many crowds, they wear clothing common to peasants/commoners (reminiscent of the monastic orders of various Asian countries).
Although WE the audience see them as "Jedi robes" most citizens of the galaxy would recognize them as "commoner's robes" (remember, even in Episode I, there are only about 10,000 Jedi for a galaxy that includes significantly more planets than that--most people will never actually see a Jedi in their lifetime, so wouldn't necessarily associated any particular "look" with them).
www.stillflying.net: "Here's how it might have been..."
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Whoah, outSTANDING explanation, GWEK!!!
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jongsstraw:
This always bothered me about the "great Star Wars trilogy".....
The last Jedis, Obi Wan and Yoda split up the twins of Darth Vader (Annakin Skywalker) so that neither Darth or the Emperor would ever know of their existence. Then they drop Luke off with Annakin's stepbrother Owen Lars, on Annakin's home planet of Tatooine, and he gets raised as Luke SKYWALKER. Might have been a wise idea to change his name, right? Before the modern-day "rebellion" what was Darth Vader doing anyhow? One trip to Tatooine would have revealed the truth about his son, but apparently he never went.
The official story is that he never returned to Tatooine because there were too many painful memories.
I agree, though, that the hiding place is ridiculous, since they hide Luke in the one place that Anakin WOULD be likely to go if he visited, under a recognizable name... and "Ben Kenobi" isn't really a great disguise either!
I suppose Kenobi and Yoda are banking on nobody realizing the Skywalker children survived, although it still seems to be a needless risk.
Quote:
Also, in the first Star Wars, Leia is captured and brought on board Vader's ship. He physically touches her and holds her as her planet is being destroyed, but feels nothing from her? Cannot feel that she's his daughter? Sorry, that just don't fly.
The real-world solution is pretty simple: when STAR WARS was written, Leia wasn't his daughter. Even into early drafts of EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, Vader and Anakin were two distinct characters (not to mention the fact that Leia's paternity was not addressed).
If you want to try to reconcile all the movies, though, I present two possibilities:
1) Vader DID know on some level... he just didn't want to acknowledge it. When he has Luke in his power, he doesn't WANT to kill him. Similarly, when he has Leia at his mercy, he many understand who she is on some level, but he's not looking to kill her. Even if he were to understood consciously, outing her is likely to get her in the clutches of either Tarkin or Palpatine (neither situation is in Vader's best interests).
2) "The dark side clouds everything." EVERYTHING. Including the perceptions of Vader and Palpatine. For a pair of dudes smart enough to take over the galaxy, the two Darths have a lot of blind spots when it comes to information. Perhaps that's a mix of arrogance and the murkiness of the dark side.
]www.stillflying.net: "Here's how it might have been..."
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Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:Quote:When I started the analysis of Waterworld, I found I did not want to write a whole BOOK on why it failed- I don't care enough about the flick. Sorry.
Originally posted by GWEK:
Seriously? You're not even trying anymore!
The laughing Chrisisall
Not a comment on your analysis, but your choice. If you're throwing out WATERWORLD, what's next? ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES? PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE?
www.stillflying.net: "Here's how it might have been..."
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