Ten things I learned from watching Firefly

POSTED BY: Lerxst
UPDATED: Saturday, November 13, 2010 12:04
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ANGELDOVE

Sunday, March 21, 2004 5:26 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by InevitableBetrayal:

4) If Inara has a female client, knock before you enter Jayne's quarters.

I can't..stop...laughing. Thanks for that, I needed a good laugh!

I only fell is all.

DTT

Tuesday, March 23, 2004 3:35 PM

Ooh, I forgot one:

There is hope for humanity: bobblehead dolls will be outlawed in the future.

"You didn't have to wound that man."
"Yeah, I know. It was just funny."

MERAT

Saturday, March 27, 2004 1:00 AM

In the future, guns and bullets will still be the weapon of choice.

Zoe has a REALLY shiny gun.

You need to be standing more than two feet away to effectively test a walky-talky.

Tragic space dementia makes you all paranoid and crotchety.

Simon is Mal's hero, but only if he wants to be REALLY sarcastic.

If you kill your wife's nephew and hang him like a side of beef, expect an earfull at dinner.

Can't get paid if you're dead.

Can't get paid if you crawl away like a bitty little bug neither.

Its bad when River starts making sense to you.

Carved ducks and carved swans are often difficult to tell apart.

Dear diary: "Today, I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today, we were kidnapped by hill folk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."

Getting there in the nick of time makes you big damn heros.

Do not be excluding people. That'd be rude

Some people may want you captured alive. Sgt. McGinnis is not one of them.

When deciding to stab your captain in the back, have the guts to do it to his face.

Hearing "Take me sir. Take me hard." can be downright unsettling.

River should rub soup in her hair. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it.

If wishes were horses, we'd all be eatin' steak.

Big, black moustaches are traditional.

Ship like Serenity'll be with you until the day you die.

And its NOT because shes a deathtrap!

Inara has funny whorin' stories.

Jayne will never hear them.

Midgets can be deadly and unpredictable.

Jayne getting naked is NOT a good distraction.

The crew of Serenity has guns. Don't ask about brains....

Aliens are upsidedown, mutated cow fetuses.

Jayne has nothing to fear from Simon while on the operating table.

River, though, can kill him with her brain.

A pretty, floral bonnet can be a very effective disguise.

Someone out there was going to find out that their worst nightmare was a maddened Librarian

BUDCLARE

Sunday, April 4, 2004 2:15 AM

I learned to say "ain't". :)

***

"She has had congress with the beast."

WIZZLER

Saturday, May 1, 2004 12:38 AM

I can't really add much but

I learned that wash is so in tune with serenity that he can fly her without actually holding the controls.

Oh an sticky can be placed around the vaults lock before Jayne has handed it to you.

Wizzler C.E.O.

"This land pest control" : Keeping Fox execs populations down since 2004

DAVEUKFAN

Tuesday, May 18, 2004 1:31 PM

When a lady shows you her guns she's after sex in return.

You sent money home to your parents and you get cool knitted hats.

If you arrest their traitor, you don't have to pay him.

Nothing says "We love you" like starting a riot.

Big hair can be very scary.

The first few minutes of a bullet to the abdomen are crutial

"Fine, I'll get naked"

GRACEOM

Tuesday, May 18, 2004 11:46 PM

1. If a box is big enough to contain a body, it probably does.

2. The body is not really dead.

3. If a woman tells you she's glad you slept with her friend, she's lying (Duh!).

4. Guns are female. I suppose I should have known this already, but I didn't.

5. When a beautiful con artist bursts into guilty tears, she's trying to distract you so she can steal your gun (Duh!)

6. Good looking men with lots of money are apt to treat women like property, and other men like monkey feces (Duh!)

7. Beware of rustic maidens bearing bowls of wine (Duh!)

8. A geek who plays with plastic dinosaurs can be very hot in the sack.

9. Cursing in Mandarin is creative and fun and totally fools the censors.

10. Sneak an intelligent, complex, funny, beautifully imagined and performed show onto network TV, and the execs heads will explode. As far as they're concerned, people who like such "arty" shows are not desirable viewers--as in they're statistically less likely to be influenced by the sponsors' advertisements and rush out to buy Big Macs. Reality TV fans are the gullible sort they're after. Gotta keep those sponsors happy!

Grace

MANTICHORUS

Friday, May 21, 2004 12:12 PM

Some of these may have already appeared. If so, sorry.
1. When doing anything on the bridge, the 3 magic buttons make it happen.
2. If Mal ever kills you, you'll be awake, facin' him and armed.
3. Drunks are so cute... apparently.
4. If you torture/maim/kill your spouse's nephew, you'll get an earful at dinner.
5. If Mal dies, you get his share.
6. The management is NEVER responsible for anything...
7. Wearing a red sash sideways does not always mean the wearer has won the Miss Persephone Pageant.
8. Jayne likes smackin' 'em.
9. Well, a good goat would do that.
And finally...
10. Zoe is very much lacking in imagination.
Oops! Forgot this one...
11. Simon's very proud of his talent for alienatin' folk.
Heh-heh. God bless the edit button:
12. Mal only thinks he's better than people he's better than.
13. When in doubt, give a psychic a gun.
14. If someone says 'Two by two, hands of blue', PEG IT!!!
-------------------------------------------
"BADGER: You think you're better than other people.
MAL: Just the ones I'm better than."
-------------------------------------
"MAL: Gotta say, doctor, your talent for alienatin' folk is near miraculous.
SIMON: Yes, I'm very proud."

PINGJING

Saturday, June 5, 2004 5:01 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by CaptBaggytrousers:

3. Sniff the air; don't kiss the dirt.

By far my favorite lesson learned - heck, that's the show in a nutshell.

Julia

TEELABROWN

Saturday, June 5, 2004 9:43 PM

Quote:
If you kill your wife's nephew and hang him like a side of beef, expect an earfull at dinner.

Gorram, that's funny! Man, I was laughing so hard over here...

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follows"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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