Ten things I learned from watching Firefly
POSTED BY: Lerxst
UPDATED: Saturday, November 13, 2010 12:04
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10 Things I learned from watching Firefly
1. Joss is God
2. Ben Edlund is incredible.
3. Buffy is cool.
4. Angel is even cooler.
5. Wesley is even cooler than Angel.
6. I really like Angel.
7. A lot of people think the Civil War wasn't about slavery.
8. I really hate Reality TV.
9. Firefly is my favorite show.
10. I need more Firefly.
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Top Ten Things I Learned From "Out of Gas"
1. When introducing Zoe to your shiny new ship, pay attention to where she's pointing when she says "What is that?" That's where you're going to be laying, bleeding someday.
2. That cake you're not eating...It's pretty much what you just ate.
3. When your psychic, psychotic sister says "Fire", she's not talking about your birthday candles.
4. Keep Zoe around. She makes a great human shield when engine parts blow up.
5. When disaster falls, mention it was your birthday. Inara will hold your hand.
6. Bester is a crappy mechanic. He likes tail too much, and that girl he was banging is such a better mechanic than he is.
7. That something that the hot warrior woman doesn't like about you...It's your mustache.
8. Beware people offering you exactly the engine part you need. They're bastards.
9. Jayne wants 10% and a bigger room. Give it to him. Your leg will thank you.
10. You don't have to die alone. If you survive, your crew will be there when you wake up.
Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."
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That was fun! In fact, I think I'm gonna go episode for episode, and really annoy the go se out of everybody.
Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."
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Top Ten Things I learned from "Shindig"
1. Just because Malcolm Reynolds defends your honor at a party, doesn't mean he's going to stop calling you a whore.
2. People with english accents in the Firefly 'verse tend to be bastards. Except River, and she's only playing around.
3. Even space hookers know more about swordplay than our illustrious captain.
4. Buy Kaylee that dress and stop saying that her wearing it would be like a sheep walking on its hind legs. She looks better in it than you think.
5. You're playing cards with Jayne? And you turn your back on him? For shame.
6. The Miss Persephone Pagent has some ugly winners.
7. Watch out for the camerawork in the party scene. Especially when Mal and Kaylee get there. While its pretty, it might make you sick.
8. Stop gloating over your percieved duel victory. If you'd just stab the guy, Mr. Wing, you might've won. Not you. You got distracted by the space hooker.
9. That dress with too much foofaraw makes a great wall hanging in Kaylee's room. Or a shower curtain, I'm not sure which.
10. Its good to have cargo, even if they don't remember to be cows 'til they get out.
Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."
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These get funner with each new one...
Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."
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Hi,
I've been lurking here for a while. This is a great site. Here is my first post:
If you are fortunate enough for Inara to accept you as a client, then be polite and gracious, drink the tea, enjoy the experience, and afterward have the good sense to thank her and depart with no fuss. Do not bother with asking her to stay with you. Inara has no interest in becoming your wife, your mistress, your pet, or your toy. Do not offer her any petty insults and for goodness sake, don’t try to kill the love of her life right before her eyes. These things will only hurt your chances of being a repeat customer.
Got Mudder's Milk?
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From “Serenity” (and Others):
Zoe is always ready. Bendis, not so much.
If you shoot down an enemy plane with a Big Damn Gun, then take care not to be under it when it crashes.
If you are a businessman with shady dealings, give everyone who works in your office a gun. Could come in handy.
The silly, klutzy guy? He’s the one to watch out for!
Don’t give Mal orders on his own ship. He hates that. But if you absolutely must get your way, then threaten to let Kaylee die. While this will work, be warned that it will upset Mal, and he may feel obliged to play a nasty practical joke on you.
If you DO get Mal upset with you, then remember to bring along your crazy sister in a box. It will garner sympathy. Either that or save Kaylee’s life. Do both, and he’ll ask you to stay as part of his crew.
A standard Companion immunization package won’t hurt.
Imprinted goods are at a discount.
If Patience doesn’t haggle over the price, then she’s planning to shoot you again.
If you have a silly name and wear a silly hat, then you WILL be shot (even if you are Jayne; it just takes a few more episodes). Yes, it’s only a matter of time for Badger!
If you ain’t weak, then that’s not nuthin’.
If Mal ever kills you, you’ll be awake, you’ll be facing him, and you’ll be armed… Unless he just sneaks up behind you, bashes you upside the head with a wrench, and tosses you out an air lock. Which method he chooses might depend on how sentimental he’s feeling at the time, or whether or not he’s had a good day.
Got Mudder's Milk?
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Top Ten Things I Learned From "Jaynestown"
1. If a one eyed, armed, hostile man comes into the bar where you're eating breakfast, don't call him "sir".
2. Medical tape hurts. When Mal tells you not to take a gun, listen to the man.
3. Never judge a son by his father. The father might be an ass, but the son might listen to everyone's favorite space hooker.
4. The captain knows your name, Jackass.
5. Sometimes hitting a man in the chest with the blade side of a knife ain't enough. Sometimes you've got to pound him into a statue dedicated to you.
6. Even though your husband's been drinking, the story he's telling you about Jayne is absolutely true.
7. Mudders...Great human shotgun blast shields.
8. Simon, Simon, Simon...sigh. Can't you keep from saying the wrong thing at the wrong time? "Son of a bitch" aside?
9. Serenity has a pretty goofy landlock warning screen.
10. If you order a milk, and the bartender slaps it out of your hand, don't get offended. He'll probably give you something better.
Kaylee: "What's so damn important about being proper? It don't mean nothing out here in the black."
Simon: "It means more out here. It's all I have..."
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From “Heart Of Gold”:
The whores ARE prettier than the whorehouse.
If you flunk out of Whore Academy, don’t worry. All you have to do is learn how to say “ain’t”, and you can get your own business.
If someone calls you “sly”, they might not be complimenting your cleverness.
If you don’t remember where everything goes, just take it real slow.
Jayne may be something of a brutish thug, but if you are his whore, he will treat you well. He will even dress up for you in his best button-down shirt, brush your hair, and show you all his guns.
The Real Me
[Edited as per Nuisance]
Got Mudder's Milk?
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Quote:
THEREALME wrote:
Jayne may be something of a brutish thug, but if you are his whore, he will treat you well. He will even dress up for you in his best button-down shirt and show you all his guns.
You forgot to mention he'll brush your hair.
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