Rewriting Shindig

POSTED BY: DMI
UPDATED: Wednesday, February 18, 2009 12:25
VIEWED: 21001
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DMI

Tuesday, January 27, 2009 4:54 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by GWEK:

Don't know if you're aware, but there was originally a completely different teaser for the episode (it involved Mal and Inara in a park or forest; I think he shoots a raccoon). Might be worth tracking down the script for that to see if the change had impact on the rest of the episode.

That sounds really interesting. I'll have to track it down. I really like the teaser at the beginning of this episode, but it's fairly interchangeable and could start just about any episode.
-e

A blog on the struggles of an unpublished writer: http://www.blogiversity.org/blogs/dmi/default.aspx

BYTEMITE

Tuesday, January 27, 2009 5:03 PM

And I thought her walking away was just snooty upper-class indignance at such an appallingly base and lewd (in their relative experience) insult. Her friends walk away in a huff too.

I like your interpretation too, not sure which is more likely. And you're right, the possibility does steal some of the happy from that scene. :(

ZZETTA13

Tuesday, January 27, 2009 6:06 PM

Bytemite, now that you’ve mentioned it ( and I’ve thought about it more) I can think of 2 different occasions where Mal voices a strong opinion opposite Zoey‘s. One being in the BDM when she ask him why they didn’t pick up the man after the bank heist & two in the Serenity series pilot when she mentions to him that they don’t have to deal with Patience, He says “ ……Yes we do!”. This after knocking something off of the bridge’s control counter.

The captain is in a position where tough choices can set a person on edge. That doesn’t mean that his crew don’t respect him or won’t follow orders, it only means that they may not like what they are being told.

Another thing, I do feel it is quite believable that Mal would walk off and dance with Inara while in the middle of making a deal with Warrick. Wouldn’t the best way to have someone become more interested in a proposition is to show that you are less interested in it? Sorry if that sounds confusing but I do think that it makes sense. Acting too interested in Sir Warrick’s illegal goings on may make the gentleman more suspicious me thinks. Best to show that it’s not a big deal. Besides why wouldn’t Mal jump at the chance to dance with Inara, he does love her you know…….(smile)

Z

PS: DMI just to let you know, great post for discussion. I really enjoy post like yours.

BYTEMITE

Tuesday, January 27, 2009 6:53 PM

And that's just the thing. Not only is he captain, but he takes being captain VERY seriously. I don't think that's there's anything that matters more to him than the welfare of his crew.

While sometimes thier lives may be put in jeopardy because of some of the jobs he chooses to take or decisions he makes, he takes those jobs and makes those decisions in order to keep his crew together, alive, and/or paid.

His wants are second in priority to the needs (and within reason, wants) of his crew. And they tend to always be needing money. Whenever something goes wrong, he tends to blame himself, thinks he's failed them. Example: Those Left Behind, after Ott's crew gets the jump on them. They get back on the ship Kaylee asks him how it went, and he just walks away because he can't face any of them.

So his doing anything deliberately or negligently that might screw up a job or opportunity doesn't seem in character to me.

But, I think I'll go rewatch the episode this thread in mind. See if thinking of Mal's conversation and offer to dance in the terms of her giving him some respectability makes that scene feel any different to me.

GWEK

Tuesday, January 27, 2009 6:53 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by DMI:
That sounds really interesting. I'll have to track it down. I really like the teaser at the beginning of this episode, but it's fairly interchangeable and could start just about any episode.

Let's not be too quick to judge... While the teaser IS somewhat generic, Espenson knew what she was doing when she wrote it.

There are a few things about the teaser that make it uniquely suited to SHINDIG. For example, we get to see Inara in Mal's World (while most of the episode will be the opposite). Mal is established as a criminal with a conscience (doesn't like slavers) who behaves recklessly (stealing the money is a needless danger).

We further see that Inara is comfortable in Mal's world to a degree, which helps establish their relationship and the dramatic tension within this episode specifically.

While it SEEMS like a generic intro, most of the themes of the episode are already set by the time the teaser ends.

www.stillflying.net: "Here's how it might have been..."

PHOENIXROSE

Wednesday, January 28, 2009 12:51 AM

This has really always been one of my least favorite episodes, mostly because of the way Inara acts for most of it. She's seen Atherton before, but didn't figure out he was a jerk? Even if he hid it well enough and she didn't think he was a jerk, he'd made the 'full time Companion' request that clearly made her uncomfortable every time it came up. Okay, so maybe being a little uncomfortable isn't enough to keep her from contracting with him again, even though I'd say it's a clear sign he's possessive as hell, and wanting a full time Companion in the first place would seem to imply he has trouble getting a woman he's not paying for as much as a fondness for Inara. I think there was a red flag in her head from the start, and she clearly had more than one option on Persephone...
...Where was I? Yes, maybe that wouldn't be enough to keep her from contracting with him initially, but to continue to be mostly meek and submissive irked me. Atherton insulted her long before Mal pushed him into it, saying that half the men wished she was on their arm, but all wished they were in her bed. She was clearly offended, tried to change the subject, and seemed to almost be getting angry...until he said she was extraordinary and all was smiles again. Well and good, I can kind of see that working, once. Then he insulted her again, in conflict with Mal (who she genuinely cares for, even if she's not sure how to deal with those feelings) and yelled at her to come along, as though she were a dog, and she went with him. She could talk tough to Mal about it being her choice and not his all she wants, but 'her choice' was a degrading one. She was clearly unhappy about the situation, but she didn't break off the contract. Yes, it could be argued that contracts shouldn't be broken, they're legally binding, but I'm sure there's something in guild rules to allow a Companion to break contract if they're being abused or mistreated in any way. If they have a black mark system they clearly don't want their girls to be with anyone who won't treat them well. When Atherton finally went all out and verbally spat on Inara's face, she gave him black mark status, but that was the first real backbone she showed the whole episode.
And that whole exchange of "get ready to starve, I'll make sure you never work again" and "that's not how it works, no Companion will contract with you ever again" was just awkward. It was a foolish threat for Atherton to make, and a 'never again' retort to a 'never again' threat was...gah. In a show full of good dialogue being delivered well, that bit was like a sore tooth for me.
I think it was mostly written as an excuse to have a fancy ball and a swordfight. The commentary even said something along the lines "I wanted to have a fancy ball and swordfight, something really old-fashioned in a future setting." It's an interesting idea, but I think ultimately it didn't work because that's not enough. It made much of the plot kind of shallow in order to make the ball, and especially the swordfight, happen.
If I rewrote this, it would probably come out to be a completely different episode in almost all respects. The only thing I'd make an effort to keep would be the exchange between Badger and River, because that was awesome.

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PLATONIST

Wednesday, January 28, 2009 2:45 AM

Productive rant, PheonixRose, and I completely agree.

All Shindig does for me is convince me that Joss had no idea where he was going with Inara's character. It was written mainly to create a platform for Mal to espouse his views on the misgivings of legalized prostitution in a Western context. It fails on so many levels, but especially in what we need to believe about the nature of Companioning. Begging the question: what are Companions? Are they Geisha, high class prostitutes, therapists, or courtesans that want long term relationships? Could it be that even with legitimacy, fame and fortune it still reduces people to objects? Joss can’t decide and neither can we.

All Inara's client "choices" are illogical except for the awkward virgin in Jaynestown. And even that’s not a necessity, but a privilege of the wealthy. The rest of them are narcissistic self indulgent egotistical misfits, including the newest one in the comics, Sanda, who beats the shit out of Mal. Why would an educated beautiful woman want to touch any of these people unless she’s desperate for money like most RL hookers or supporting a drug habit with three kids at home? It makes no sense and that’s why Joss turned her into a teacher. Trust me, that is REAL prostitution, right there! He finally got it right.

BYTEMITE

Wednesday, January 28, 2009 3:50 AM

Mmm, after watching it again, I'm just not feeling the dancing to increase respectability angle. Maybe the what's meant to be implied, but it just seems too abrupt for it to be something he was considering from when she came over. The request feels like it has an entirely emotional basis.

But that's just how I see it.

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Wednesday, January 28, 2009 6:21 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by AgentRouka:
Quote:
Originally posted by Bytemite:
Quote:
Originally posted by AgentRouka:

Very true! I love that small glimpse at Banning's character when the old geezer says "'Course your daddy tells me it takes the space of
a schoolboy's wink to get you out of it again." Now that's a loving father. Try imagine your father gossiping about you like that. What kind of emotionally abusive relationship is behind that? It certainly topples the old geezers heroic image for me that he would say that to Banning, no matter how bratty she was behaving. It's not all black and white, there. Which makes Atherton's portrayel all the more disappointing.

Huh? He was supposed to be her father? I didn't get that impression at all, only that he knows her father, and that she's spoiled rotten, and maybe deserves to be set down a little in her pride.

I never said he was her father. He references her father, implying that her father said such a thing about her, which leads me to the conclusion that Bannings father is one hell of a bad example.

She's not spoiled rotten, she's an unloved child (turned young adult) lashing out. Likely how she learned it at home.

The old geezer wasn't just telling her to back off, he was hitting her where it really hurts, which is kind of cruel.

This is Murphy talking to Banning, after Banning is working over Kaylee (who Murphy views as a newcomer, who should be made to feel welcome, not ostracized), and showing off for her friends, while they also work on Kaylee with Banning's support and colusion. This may be seen as cruel, but this is Banning getting her own medicien, which may well be the best form of medicine she could get at this point in her life. She's already erred beyond reason by abusing Kaylee, she now gets comupance, embarrassment in front of her friends, and at the same time Murphy makes it clear that Kaylee should consider herself welcome to the social event of the season regardless of rude people like Banning. murphy made exactly the correct call. Anything less may have not hit Banning where it hurt, but also would have had not chance of teaching Banning a lesson - don't do it again, and this is what it feels like to be on the recieving end.

Quote:

Quote:

But I still agree that he shouldn't have walked away in the middle of trying to make a deal. Or rather, that there should have been consequences from Harrow's side for having done that. I really do think someone of Harrow's social standing would have taken that as a snub. Not allowing yourself to become distracted when you're talking to someone is business etiquette, which I think Mal is aware of. We're never given any indication that Mal doesn't know how to sell himself or his ship when he wants to; quite the opposite, in fact.

At that point, Harrow was far from convinced and Mal didn't have much by the way of arguments left. Taking a break at that point doesn't hurt him, much less so when he leaves Ath and Harrow to watch him dance with Inara - a hugely respectable person.

Following his impulse to separate Inara and Ath doesn't actually work against him, professionally, and I think he knows it.

Bingo.

On another note: I understand the desire for some to condense characters until there are only a few. Joss does not shy away from multiple charaters. These are thieves, smugglers, avoiders from Alliance. Many of the episodes have few characters, which is right for shady dealings - the fewer the better.
This is the social event of the season. Compared to how many characters we see in other eps, I find it amazing that there are not gobs more characters in these scenes, at the dance. Imagine the multitudes of people we are ignoring here, which Inara, Mal and Kaylee are sure to be meeting merely by being present at such a vast gathering of humanity.

And regarding Kaylee's forgiveness of Mal: I suspect that Mal allowing her to interrogate the buffet table with the strawberries and cheese goe

AGENTROUKA

Wednesday, January 28, 2009 7:14 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by jewelstaitefan:
Anything less may have not hit Banning where it hurt, but also would have had not chance of teaching Banning a lesson - don't do it again, and this is what it feels like to be on the recieving end.

Chances are, Banning already knows what it feels like to be on the receiving end. You have to learn that stuff somewhere. The only lesson this will teach her is to be slightly less visible about where she lashes out and to despise Murphy. But what he does is really only one more spin in a circle of disrespect. He's not teaching her anything but to do exactly as she has been doing: use humiliation to solve a problem.

He's not much better than her in that regard, only he'd decided that Kaylee gets to receive his protection. He's nice to guests, so what. Anyone he has decided is useless is still fair game.

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