Worst of the Worst - Contribute to The Most Awful Fic Ever Written
POSTED BY: jetflair
UPDATED: Friday, February 17, 2012 18:36
VIEWED: 87562
PAGE 17 of 22
- A fight scene should be recycled from "Angel".
- Mal should vamp out during said fight.
- No-one notices anything out of the ordinary.
- A musical happens on-board Serenity.
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Quote:
Pt 2 (of 750)
pausing only to have another child, River gazed adoringly at the ranks of karate stanced infants beside her. She especially liked the cutesome grey haired trippplets Mag, Zine and Hardback - souvenirs of her meaningful spritual tryst with the avatar spirit of Shepherd Thingy called down to her one hot and stuffy night (tho it might have been simon in a play suit, he was such a joker!).
suddenly her eyes turned inwards - her voice seemed bigger and a bit scary (but not too much ok).
"I see dead people... no wait - I relive days... no wait - once in every generation... no wait - you are the ooze that eats itself... um, lotta static today."
Still, it was time for school and jayne would be furious if the littluns weren't there on time.
Pausing only to have another child ("Wotcha!" it said with the usual Tam precocity. Hmm... have to get that one a hat...) she armed herself with a big gun and a short dress - dashed from the shuttle and began to kick the crap out of the waiting queue of parents.
"Out my ruttin way!" she yelled. "I'm a force of a nature - no, wait... the Truth is Out There... no, wait..."
by which time the karate children had stolen the shuttle and headed for the red light planet of SoHomeworld. "Hell we wanna par-tey!!" they gurgled merrily. "We's Cobb chillun GORRAM it!" they burped.
then - in a sudden but inevitable betrayal - they all put on blue gloves and did the oompa lumpa dance.
"what's... we can't - Dumpitty Do..."
And it was true - the pre-programmed shuttle had taken them into the very worst of crossover hells and it looked like they were DOOMED to spend eternity working for the Willy Wonka Corporation...
but - alas... it all ends happily of course.
Oh, man ain't that gruesome! No really I can barely read through the whole thing, it's sickening!
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Laughing too hard to write properly! :D
You people are evil geniuses.
"Love keeps her in the air...."
www.serenityverse.com/fffanfic - My fanfics
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Evil geniuses we may be, but good looking ones we are.
Talk like Yoda I do; abused for heresy I will be, yet stop I cannot seem to.
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I can't wait to read it!!!
@)~*~*~*$)~*~*~*)~(*~*~*~($*~*~*~(@
Gots to get away from the green, nasty dragon
\~~~*~~^~~*~~~/
My favorite quotes: 
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reporting to caleb for crimes in the following manner:
wytchcroft writes:
"Red rum red rum!" the urchin form of the ragged river squealed as she circled the endless yet never once adaquately described corridors of the Overlook (and possibly now over used) Hotel Moon.
Depth and profundity flashed across her eyes as Mal shifted his weight crossing and uncrossing his arms like a restless junky. "Wha? well,an I done reckon that's a truthsome way of reckoningly expressivefying stuff" he murmered in the usual wytch gibberese.
"Red rum! Red rum!"
River circled the crew - the wheels on her tricycle squealing and squeaking and again with the squeaking.
"This piece of crap moon* so close to a black hole it's sucking the vocabulary right outta me!" Mal thought -- even as he folded and unfolded his arms again.
"Don't you be agreeing with me Mary-Sue - I mean, Zoe?"
Zoe said nothing - because she never does obviously but her mind rolled back the years to the pastoral days of the log cabin and all the endless autumn cliches you could wish for.
Mean time Simon was searching desperately through his bag for a hypo to inject the precedings with some vague dose of humour at least.
Kaylee gnashed her teeth and made other random seeming gestures (not unlike mal)...
meantime a ghastly forshadowed midget assassin was stealing up on them... his fingers clutching at pieces of metal. and for why - he wanted to know.
River meantime was dancing around talking to her finger and the little boy who lives in her mouth.
"Gorram it!" yelled Mal. "I asked for a Shindig -not the ruttin' SHINING."
Jayne meantime had fled to a superior level of characterisation.
..........................
come back spaceanjl - you see what happens when u turn your back??
ok Caleb... i'm ready for my close up now
*fan obsessive referential quoting of fave characters (saffron) to the point of criminal procedings sure to follow...
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Quote:
Mean time Simon was searching desperately through his bag for a hypo to inject the precedings with some vague dose of humour at least.
Jayne meantime had fled to a superior level of characterisation.
You know the kind of humor that's drop-dead hilarious 'cause it's so true? That would be it, right up there.
Could I please use those lines in thewrongfic?
"Love keeps her in the air...."
www.serenityverse.com/fffanfic - My fanfics
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use any and every thing you think funny enough - i'm glad to have made y'chuckle:)
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any of mine
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Huge thread so someone might have thought of this but I think there should be a few tire swings hanging from the wings and maybe convert one of the air locks to a water slide for the all the kids to play on.
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