Worst of the Worst - Contribute to The Most Awful Fic Ever Written
POSTED BY: jetflair
UPDATED: Friday, February 17, 2012 18:36
VIEWED: 87562
PAGE 6 of 22
Quote:
Originally posted by MerryK:
How about the BDHs having children that are exact copies of various BDHs, especially reader children for Simon or River. Sorry, that never happens in real life so exactly.
yeah. Give Zoe a child. Who looks exactly like Wash.
Gonna be weird having a child look like a 30 something... unless we add a SPACE-TIME FOLDING VORTEX thingymajig. And the child obviously has to meet it's father.
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Bonus extra:
In the Emerald Isle – DoroFic, FirefLion, The Tin Machine Man and ScaredyFoxx27 confront the GREAT and POWERFUL JOZZ
JOZZ 20.30.oo
Hi, Guys, leave the gifts by the altar.
DoroFic: 20.30.45
Hope you like ‘em! 
JOZZ 20.33.oo
I’ll look them over later – tho’ my legal guys tell me...
Anyway – My monkeys – i, uh, i mean munchkins tell me you got a request. Huh?
You hum it, I’ll sing-a-long!
ScaredyFoxx27 20.33.15
Once more with feeling!
DoroFic, FirefLion, Tmm, Scaredyfoxx27 20.33.17
LOL!
JOZZ 21.00.oo
..wotever. C’mon guys...
DoroFic 21.00.o3
We want FireFly back – we want to write it – and we want to go to Universal studios with you!
Tmm 21.00.05
YES!
JOZZ 21.45.oo
Yes. Because that’s absolutely going to happen.
DoroFic: 21.45.o3
You MUST! We brought you gifts! And we have... IDEAS!
JOZZ 22.15.oo
The Dog?? That dog you have there?
DoroFic 22.15.o2
Well I didn’t bring babies this time! Cuz you said – and hey! – that’s Toto!
FirefLion 22.15.o4
Toto rock!
JOZZ 23.17.oo
Bring me the head of the Executive of the West!
Tmm: 23.17.o2
Cool. We’ll need weapon specs. I’ve seen the plans of the Stront9 Rutterduster and Jeez - it just aint got the juice, aint gonna happen!
FirefLion 23.17.o4
Bogus call man. The Stront9 totally has what it takes.
Tmm 23.17.o5
Oh yeh?! Let’s take this thread elsewhere – i’m gonna totally kick your ass!
FirefLion:
23.17.o9
OH YEH?!
DoroFic 23.17.33
I will write FireFly. My series will be called SALVATION.
JOZZ 00.14.oo
Huh? You still here? Listen – there’s no room in my balloon for no damn dog! When i was blacklisted to the emerald isle – I knew it would be hard but – that’s it, I’m off to Limey Land, they LOVE me there.
-ghostvoice of whedonesque-
WEEEE LOOOVEE YOOUU MOORE JOZZZ...
whedonesque creates unfortunate breeze in passing, revealing Joss behind curtain
DoroFic 00.15.oo
AAAH!
Joss 01.00.oo
Zaphod’s just this guy y’know. Ha ha.
Do I still get my gifty? Looks like nice incense to me.
DoroFic 01.00.o2
They’re JOSS-sticks – thought you’d like the joke!
Joss 01.00.55
Nice. So no hard –
EXPLOSION!
DoroFic 01.00.59
And they’re not incense!
Now i WILL write Firefly – it’s all mine heh heh heh! 
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Explain.
Oh, God, I'm down with the ding! I'm in space to fly!
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Ohhh.....maybe I should make Saffron Jayne's Mary Sue? It would make that Mary Sue's already absurd plot premise completely insanely unbelievable, but in this fic, that could be a very good thing.....
Brainspecialist, when I get it finished a bit I'll send it to you for beta. Anyone else want a crack at it? This is, after all, a group project ;)
"Love keeps her in the air...."
www.serenityverse.com/fffanfic - My fanfics
www.serenityverse.com/shop - Firefly Jewelry
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naah, don't wanna ruin it for the finished product. :P
Another thought - wouldn't having a beta go against what you are intending?
(You probably do want it to be readable though... can't go that far.)
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Yeah, I figure it needs to at least be readable, contain semi-correct English, and so forth. I am also going to refrain from making it particularly graphic, in the interests of making it possible for the unfortunate reader to survive to the end of the fic. I realize that by not writing graphic Simon/River slash I am passing up a valuable opportunity in the awful-fic department, but....there are limits. There just are.
But you're right...."beta" implies "quality." Nasty term there.....Maybe I should reserve the ability to post proudly that no beta-reader was involved, ever. 
The content warning is going to be hilarious in its own right. Here is what I have just so far:
Content warnings: Sex (lots of it!), character resurrection, incest, Mary Sues, rape, random crossovers, torture, non-canon pairings, BDSM, m/f, m/m slash.
"Love keeps her in the air...."
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Oh, do we get a time reset?
That is probably the most hated thing ever. And it is actually used all the time even on real tv shows.
(Either sunset beach - ("it was a all a dream") or a space time paradox).
And we need an evil twin.
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbz:
or a space time paradox).
And we need an evil twin.
Mal/Caleb
two strikes on yr cliche list - and one on jetflairs (for which i have paid the price!).
that's a hattrick that has to happen in my book!
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Ohhh, I know! Mal is being held by merciless bad guy #5. Wash (resurrected by the Academy and returned to Serenity earlier in the story) walks in, tortures Mal a little, and then introduces himself as Wash's evil twin, mad because Mal got Wash killed. Wash's evil twin kills Inara in front of Mal.
Mal then wakes up and realizes that he hallucinated the whole thing, and that in reality he's still just sitting there in the clutches of bad guy #5.
"Love keeps her in the air...."
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Quote:
Originally posted by jetflair:
Ohhh, I know! Mal is being held by merciless bad guy #5. Wash (resurrected by the Academy and returned to Serenity earlier in the story) walks in, tortures Mal a little, and then introduces himself as Wash's evil twin, mad because Mal got Wash killed. Wash's evil twin kills Inara in front of Mal.
Mal then summons HIS evil twin and - battle is joined!
Quote:whose hostage - mal's illegitimate offspring by zoe - is torturing Mal with Wash's dinosaurs. (hence battle dream)
Mal then wakes up and realizes that he hallucinated the whole thing, and that in reality he's still just sitting there in the clutches of bad guy #5.
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