Imponderable Water Cooler- Like a bolt from the blue
POSTED BY: msg
UPDATED: Thursday, August 2, 2007 17:25
VIEWED: 11235
PAGE 9 of 14
It is definately reassuring to hear a woman admit to going all wonky and doing what you mentioned. I see a change later on when she realizes that she calls me wrong no matter how right I am or considers all things I do to be wrong. It lasts five minutes but the effects carry for at least thirty.
Posted at Hotel 23 in the Haters Forum:
Douchebag squids and dumbass Natives
Sorry to offend any upstanding Navy personnel. There are some cool bastards stationed here that I get along with fine. I've actually been able to call a few friend.
But any man who wears a ring claiming to love his wife and children and being very lonely for them should not lay their hands familiar on another mans woman. Especially if that woman is mine and I am standing right there.
I had the chance to rough up a slimy f&^% behind my favorite bar early Sunday morning and opted instead to put him on the ground and listen to him whine like a little bitch as I walked away. Of course I hustled through and out the front as there is more space on Maine street to have it out with 8 to 10 of his friends. On one hand I'm glad security showed up and split the bar in half. On the other hand I really wanted to knock off the rust and have it out.
Of course there were a few Skins in the place and wanted in on the damn thing. Seems they could not take "Stay the f&^% outta my business" as an answer either. So I seemed to have pissed a few of them off too. I hate folks who wanna butt in just 'cause you're the same color. Neither did I need nor did I want their help.
For y'all who are capable of assaulting a group I commend you for being capable but less than willing to do so. I was told to pass that on by one of the older bar patrons to whom ever might need to hear it.
Some of us are capable of horrible things but are not evil because we can.
We are good because we won't.
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NVG, I'm not sure I'm grasping the whole situation with the near fight. Did he put his hands on Mindy? If so it really depends a lot on what was happening as to whether or not you should have taken action. I mean a hand on the shoulder isn't much, but if he's doing more and she doesn't look pleased then I think you're totally justified. The other guy probably didn't know about her recent history, but that's still no excuse of the hands on.
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He knew she wa there with me and he knew I did not approve of his following her around as I had warned him an hour earlier.
As for the situation; she had been drinking and I had not. I could see first hand the game he was playing and called him on his behavior. I didn't just pounce half cocked. There is no way I can let something like that slide. But I did not humiliate him in front of folks and I left no evidence to prove that it happened. He got off light and I didn't have to relapse into a state of mind I've been working long and hard to change.
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NVG: sounds like there is going to be some turmoil for a bit. While husband was out of the picture, Mindy could sort of pretend he didn't exist. If he comes to town, she will be faced with the reality of the situation and the choices she has to make. You're caught in the middle of that and will experience the emotional fall-out.
While he is elsewhere she is picking up her life and moving on.
When he's in town, she's cheating on her husband and about to become a divorcee.
While he's elsewhere, he is a douchebag that ignored her and let bad things happen to her.
When he's in town he's a real person that is harder to villify. No one is 100% evil. And she will have to face that fact that others might not thing he's sucha douchebag.
Etc.
As for the guy in the bar...what was Mindy's reaction? Did SHE tell the guy to leave her alone? I think the answer to those two questions should dictate your response and could also provide some insight into your relationship.
***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw
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Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
As for the guy in the bar...what was Mindy's reaction? Did SHE tell the guy to leave her alone? I think the answer to those two questions should dictate your response and could also provide some insight into your relationship.
This is the real point. When I'm in a relationship I have to be able to trust the other person. So, unless she's obviously trying to get the guy to leave her alone then I have no reason to step in. She's a big girl and needs to be trusted to make her own decisions. You won't always be around either.
So, again it depends on the situation and what actually was going on.
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I trust her to no end. She was drunk and very down. He was playing a cuddle/comfort game that I didn't entirely agree with. Of course she was mad at me to begin with saying I didn't trust her and that she can take care of herself. Later she had sat with some folks the coffee shop for breakfast and from the way her was talking she saw that he was a total f-ing clown shoe. We drove in the county that morning and I told her that I do trust her love and judgement. I just ain't willing to trust any man with someone I love so much. With previous issues at hand and my continuing with the suppression of unneeded anger on my part there is no way I can trust anyone. There will be another someone who comes along willing to take what is not his and will do what he has to in order to get it. That includes superceding her own lack of willingness to give what he might be willing to take. If faced with that there is no telling what my response could be.
She did tell me how right I was about the slimy one. We drove around listening to music and talking alot of things out. I can see the fear and horror. And I know there isn't a whole lot more I can do other than to stll be holding on when she comes through the storm. I know there will be further squabbles between us, but it feels like we've never talked through things through with anyone like this before. It was strange to have that very same thought at the same time.
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**Written before the NVG grievance airing. Gorram meeting. Will catch up on that next.**
Quote:
Originally posted by deepgirl187:
Actually, I'm at Saginaw Valley, JQ. And I'm patiently waiting to see how much they're going to gouge us for tuition this year. We should know after tomorrow. At least it's not the university doing it to us. *grumble, stupid Granholm, grumble*
12.9% is what I hear. Ima say “Holy katzenfrass!” That’s just too awful for words! Let’s improve our lot by turning out more uneddacated people to get all those gem jobs what’s left us. Bah! Hopes you continue in yer studies anyhow.
Quote:
Even JQ tentacle-y hugs are okay by me.
Quote:
Originally posted by RMMC:
Where you been hidin' them things? I certainly didn't see 'em when I saw you last...or were you loaning 'em out to local hockey fans?
*hugs Jonny* I just had to mess with ya, JQ.
Quote:
originally posted by Jonny Quest:
So, here I am with my hands behind my back the whole time 'cause I was trying to be a gentleman...Okay, girlie, the octopus gloves are officially off!!
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What movie scene is most like something in my life? I honestly cant think of anything. But then again, this is probably because I generally go see action-adventure, cartoons or non-gross horror.
I don’t see how we can grant an exclusion based on “action-adventure, cartoons or non-gross horror”: seems like they’d be natural fodder. Or am I more unlike y’all than I thought?
Quote:
Originally posted by Zeek:Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
LOL Zeek- my former cheerleader status acts as a balancing agent for the nerd factor..
How long does that last? There's gotta be some sort of statute of limitations.
If there isn’t there oughtta be.
Butt, seriously, as long as gravity hasn’t bogarted the goods, I say “Jump, Shout, Let It All Out!” Besides, Zeek, our MsG is immune to the aging thing.
Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
Kinda pissed. Blew out the crotch of my favorite baggy jeans while picking up meds at Walgreens. Sucks 'cause a certain someone really likes them too. Crap.
Wow. There’s just too many ways to go with this. Word association is my choice.
Pissed – Crap
Blew – Sucks
Crotch – Baggy
Blew out the crotch of my favorite baggy jeans while picking up meds at Walgreens – Little Blue Pills?
A certain someone really likes them too – Maybe she’ll like them even more now.
Quote:
Originally posted by RugBug:
Being shy, with a natural 'get the f#@$ away from me' vibe means stuff like that usually isn't all that fun…msg: the shyness would still exist. The shyness is always there...even with some people I've known forever. It's not just 'new people' shyness. It's 'argh, I have to make conversation' shyness.'
So just sit there and look pretty. We’ll talk at and around you. Then again someone might mention horses and—whoops, where did the time go?
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. - Walt Whitman
- Vote Causal/JonnyQuest, for Benevolent Co-Dictator of Earth; together, toward a brighter tomorrow!
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Hooboy! That's a mouthful alright. I think that MsG and RugBug have got it right though. There's a mess of turmoil in the the heart of your goil, and that makes it hard to maintain the serenity. I hate psycho-speak, but conflicted is such a useful word. Whatever Mindy and freak-husband had is gone. It's never easy to pronounce a dream DOA. No matter how shitty. Straight out simple: she doesn't want to have sex with you in order not to want to have sex with him. Switching the sex switch to "Off" altogether is easier than sex is okay with Joe but not okay with A$$hole. She needs simplicity right now. It's not that she wants to have sex with him, but she doesn't need the additional turmoil of sorting out her feelings for you from her feelings for him from her feeling the need to have sex, closeness, intimacy, being wanted by someone, etc. Dipshit goes home, relationship normalizes.
All of this and I haven't even gotten into the whole anxiety on her part with having to deal with him at all on any level. You know how you feel about him; imagine what she must feel. She lived it from the inside. *Yuck* She's just trying to get by. Maybe what she wants from you is something you can't give. You can't take away her past or its effects on her. You can only give her a hope for the future. If she's mad at you--crying mad--hold her. Tight. She's not mad at you. She's mad at the world, and you are a big part of her world so you get to hear it. Listen. And hug.
As for the groper, Brad Paisley has a song out called I'm Still a Guy. Here's a line that came into my head the instant I read your story:
I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by"
The rest of the song is a hoot, as his frequently are, and maybe it's not a movie scene, but it sure sounds like real life.
(Besides you are the only person I have ever met that's admitted to watching Dumb and Dumberer. I choose not to believe it of you...)
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. - Walt Whitman
- Vote Causal/JonnyQuest, for Benevolent Co-Dictator of Earth; together, toward a brighter tomorrow!
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Yeah I think it's important to say...guys are territorial in a way women are not( this is generalizing) they tend to take encroachment on their territory ( yes I know this sounds bad but really it's rather sweet) as a threat and respond as such. If a woman doesn't want that response in her guy...she needs to say it clearly and reinforce it.Otherwise accept that this is part of him ( the need to protect even when you don't need the protecting) and let it go... I am perfectly capable of smacking the crap out of a guy who gets too close etc, but I'm not upset with MisterG if he does it...as long as it doesn't get out of hand and a warning has been offered first. I don't have any issue with this...I realize this is somewhat oppositional to the feminist point of view...but that's just me.
That being said, she was incapacitated and that meant that she probably didn't see the evil coming as clearly...so good job Joe:)
As for the other. With all she's gone through and is going through in the last 6 months it's a wonder she knows her own name let alone what she really wants. Give her a bit to kick the slime to the curb and get her kids and herself stabilized and it should all go back to normal. Keep talking and communicating and discussing or whatever you want to call it...it'll work out
"I'm not all that interested in the mental health of people who want to kill me. "- Leroy Jethro Gibbs
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Y'all are just nailin' it right on the head today. Not sayin' I'm a know all, see all. But I needed someone, anyone to back up the things I've been thinking but until now haven't had the ability to vocalize much of it.
She is still a litlle mad at me for pointing out the teuth early this morning. As she put it, "I still love the hell outta you but I'm really not liking you right now. You are not my favorite person." Of course she had the strange happy/angry smirk so it can be read as pretty much the truth. I was "so harsh" when stating the truth. But half of it had to do with the shitty feeling I was left with after the whole thing. She is mad at herself for hurting me and mad at me for not trusting her. But I again stated that it is not her I don't trust. It is everyone else.
I guess we'll just have to see what happens.
(Terrible falling asleep fits at my desk right now.)
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