Male and Female Imponderables - A Hard Earned Thirst Needs A Big Cold Beer, But I Drink To Get Pissed.
POSTED BY: Nicodemus
UPDATED: Monday, January 8, 2007 21:07
VIEWED: 13666
PAGE 5 of 13
On the dating thing, my mother told me that I wasn't allowed to date until I was 30. She was only partly joking. Because of this, I just started dating when I found a guy that I felt was worth it (which was the year I turned 18). I just neglected to tell my parents that I was dating until it was too late for them to stop me. But that's typical of how my relationship with my parents was, they pretty much left me alone because they knew I was responsible enough to make good decisions.
Although, once I started dating, I instantly got a curfew (which was absolutely psychotic)....but only when I was with him, and it was never enforced (at least not seriously, I mean, how many times would you take the excuse "traffic was really bad" for being late?)
When I have my own children, I hope to have that kind of understanding with them, but the age restrictions on dating would depend on the maturity level and decision making skills of the child in question. After working in a day care for years and all the babysitting/nanny jobs I've had, I have seen that each child has their own ways of responding to athority/rules, and parenting styles should reflect that.
As for Hell's Kitten's question, no, the restrictions would not be solely to prevent pregnancy, it's more to avoid the "fad" dating thing. Also, there would be no restriction on same sex interactions, since I sincerely hope there would be no danger of attraction in that area.
I'm a leaf on the wind
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Welcome to the Imponderables thread, KevinGray. It sounds like you were raised by one of those strong women characters that Joss writes about. 
I'm surprised that NVG didn't pick up on the paintball comment. He's mentioned that it's becoming a new addiction.
To everyone who posted above,
It's great to have you all back. It was pretty quiet here last week. I didn't get a chance to sign on yesterday, so I haven't caught up on the last thread. But it's been a joy to read today's.
Dating - I really don't know. I'm conflicted. Part of me thinks that it would be better if no one dated until 21. There are so many problems that occur from teenage sex.
*It's a joke - don't flame me if you're 16 to 20*
Although, I know that we live in a world were my 5 year students are talking about boyfriends, girlfriends, and going on dates. Young children are bombarded with the idea of finding a sexual partner way too early.
Hunting - I don't do it. I don't eat much meat, but I'm glad there is someone around to do it for me.
Quote:
NVGhostRider wrote:
Tips for those who've never been over the wire: Encourage rather than criticize. Empathize rather than sympathize. Listen rather than talk. Offer an ear rather than beer.
I love that NVG. I have had several friends come back from Vietnam that have shared things with me. The funny thing is that others wanted to hear the stories, and I didn't. I've always wondered why they picked me. I think I know why now. Thanks.
JQ, I've missed your wit last week. Seriously, just so you'll know the beer comes after. If you offer the beer too soon, it masks the pain and feelings that need to be expressed and felt.
Nico, I need more Mordor.
HK and Rhyianan, I do agree that the dating age should go for opposite and same sex partners.
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Quote:
Originally posted by VerseExplorer:
HK and Rhyianan, I do agree that the dating age should go for opposite and same sex partners.
I believe you misunderstood what I had to say. I reserve judgement on dating restrictions until I meet my children, but I will place no limit on same sex interactions (aka close friendships), since I sincerely hope that there is no danger of a sexual attraction in that sort of situation (not that there's anything wrong with that, but I'd prefer straight children).
I'm a leaf on the wind
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Hello my wonderful Ponderin friends!!
WARNING LONG POST!! (It's one of the drawbacks to sleeping all night that I have to cover everything at once!!
)
To those who wondered - I got home at 9pm... (I turned down coffee & cake back at her place... man those little girls were tired too!!) & I was in bed by 1- & asleep by 10.01 and slept for 14 hours straight (except for a smds from my bestest friend at 1.30am - she would has expected me to still be up and she is in Perth - 2 hours behind Melbourne)
I feel like a new woman!! 
Mei Mei
!!! Oh I missed you sweetheart!! 
Thank you for sharing your parents insite - LOL at you showing up your dad at 15!!! 
and I agree that your Mum is awesome!!!
Hello Neko-chan!! It's good to see you!! 
Mavs - I have seen Carson's picture and if I was one of the little girls at his school I would set my cap at him right away!!! I think that phone is going to start ringing... though, as Neko says, boys might still be a little icky at the moment...
Hello Qing ren!! I'd love to walk Ireland too... or at least visit it one day!!
See... I don't get offended at being called 'girly' since I am a girl... and I know I am tough too... I'm getting stronger and tougher all the time in more ways than one - but I am feminine and womanly and if those things are sometimes referred to as 'girl' I have no problem with it...
I can also stop any of the kids I nanny in their tracks with a single word.
Maybe it's because I care about people and other living being too much and have too much empathy for them that I have never found hunting attractive, but hunting with purpose is different... I think the cultures that hunt and untilise all the parts of the animal are fascinating... I admire anyone who can truly 'waste not, want not'... one of my grandfather's favourite sayings which I was raised on.
I have thought about your ponderance too CMH - there are lots of things I hope to do - but learning and practicing archery, learning a martial art and visit Pompeii are 3 I have on the short list... I also want to walk one of the tow-paths in the UK, stopping in a different pub each night and staying in a tent or B&B... just a really relaxing pace... I'd like to walk along Hadrians wall, or cycle around Cornwall, or visit Tuscany and drink in the local culture, or return to the Philippines and walk through the 2,000 year old rice terraces in Banaoe...I also want to go back to uni and do a degree in Medieval History and Theology - I have done some formal study in both areas, but never in a degree and most of my history study is self-directed... out of passion and curiosity... But having said all of that - I don't think there has been a situation where I have been spurred on to actually meet one of those goals - which is what you really asked... isn't it Chris?
Now, base jumping does sound cool Kel - scary and dangerous from what I have read - but cool!
Quote:
Originally posted by Riverismygoddess
I'll be stopping by there on my tour of the country. I'll be the travelling Browncoat.[/qote]
Will you release a couple of CDs along the way??Oh - it's so good to have you back Jimi-bear!!
Grizwald - there's an open invite anytime - welcome aboard!!
Kel, honey? Do you still live uner the illusion that your Little One doesn't have her Daddy wrapped around her little finger...NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Rhyianan,
Ooops, thanks for the clarification. 
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Magda,
Good to see you're awake. I would never try to give Magda Martin any kind of curfew. It would be futile. She always does what she wants.
Quote:
Magda wrote:
As the eldest of 3 girls, I was curfewed on going out with friends, then when I proved myself reliable the curfews got later and later - and I would also stay the night at my best friend's houses so I was at their parents mercy and they were usually more leniant on them... My sisters had slacker and slacker rules
I'm on the other side of that example. My sister always fought for the rights to do things. Once my parents relented, it was easy for me to come along and say, "Can I do that to?" She always hated that they said, "Sure."
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Girly: Never been a problem for me
Of course, it's come to my attention that whatever woman I eventually ensnare will have to be very... and I'm talkin' very, here... un-girly if I stand any chance of keeping her. I don't have the patience for the girly girls.
This revelation occured to me whilst overhearing a friend of mine get into the silliest arguement with his girlfriend. She's a sweet lass, but so girly... gack. He wanted to cook for her, and... hell, I can't even remember how she turned that into an argument, but she did, and she was all sulky about it...
Anyway. Seeings as I can't put up with that level of frippery in any human being for more than five consecutive minutes, I figure I'm goin' to need somebody a bit more practical. Toilet seat left up? Flip it down. You're a big girl, somebody should have taught you how to do that when you were three. Got a problem? Tell me about it. Don't make me guess. See a job needs doing? Do it yourself if you can, and get me if it requires heavy lifting. Gah! (I must be coming off as chauvenist, but this is just one of those things I find irritating)
Dating: I would be soooooooo paranoid about a hypothetical daughter. Seriously. I would be that creepy army-father who sits in a cracked-leather Lazyboy, surrounded by wafting smoke (which will be all the more dramatic considering I don't smoke), staring down those little horndogs with a glint of the homocidal in my eye as I remind them of the following facts: I have a shovel, a shotgun, and a lot of wide open country behind my house.
If I were to have a son, I can't see myself getting that wound up about it. My ideals would say, start dating at 16, but with a daughter, I know I'd try to get her into a convent until she's 37. Of course, I can't really compare them to my own experience, considering I'm 21 and I haven't started dating yet.
Hunting: Never killed anything with a gun or any other malicious means, yet. Except for the time when I shot down a Christmas tree (Mom was sick that year)... The family does get together sometimes, though, and blast targets behind the house with our various firearms. I often state that if (when) the Zombie Apocalpyse(tm) comes, me and my family will be just fine.
Aspirations: Get the hell off of this island. Unfortunately one thing stands in my way. That thing is money. Rather, it is the utter lack of it. Had I enough money to pay the bridge toll, I'd be out of here faster than a cat with its tail on fire shreiking for the coast-line.
This is going to happen eventually. I'm not getting stuck on this Island my entire flippin' life. It's just a matter of time. And money. Especially money.
More long term, I'd love to have been able to travel a bit. Unfortunately, poverty once again raises its ugly head. I'd love to see the French Quarter of New Orleans, walk in the blasting heat of Guatelajara, stare up at a ceiling of trees in Brazil, walk along the Great Wall of China, or see what's left of the Coliseum in Rome.
Friggin' poverty. Well, it's 1:00 AM now, so I'm signing out.
Do I really come across as chauvenistic?
--------------
I ain't lookin' for help from on high. That's a damn long wait for a train don't come.
98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature.
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Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
My dad said I was allowed to date as soon as I could spar with him and win on something like a regular basis.
My mom, on the other hand, said that if I didn't know how to make good choices by the time I was 16 and had my own car, then she hadn't done her job right and there was nothing she could do to stop me.
Very good advice, on both their parts.
*hggles
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Reading up on this I noticed a lot of talk on curfews and limitations. It made me think about the total lack of curfews and rules in general I had from my parents. Don't get me wrong, its not that they never cared, they just never set down any rules. I was probably somewhat of a weird kid though, I always let my parents know where I was and what I was up to and I was never getting up to any mischeif. To this day I've never been on a date either (though my parents don't believe that) so the rules were never required.
My sister on the other hand does have rules and a clear curfew (much earlier if there are males included in the evenings plans) but she definetly needs them. She's somewhat of a moody, problematic teen at the moment hell bent on getting in some kind of trouble.
Which made me think about a question. How much of an effect do you think the strictness (im tired, best description I can come up with) of your parents effected how you turned out? I'm not sure if i think my parents were slacker than me than with my sister because I was just more mature/responsible, or if things turned out that way because they went easier on the rules with me. Probably a crap question but like I said, I'm tired.
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I tried to edit my previous post to add to my ponderance too... My exact words were (coz I've learned to copy things to word before I post):
I would wait to know my children before I set any rules or deadlines on them - I would hope that I had done a good job in raising them and instilling qualities from infancy that would allow them to make healthy choices with a sense of good-jugement. I would maintain good communication and if they weren't able to match me in honesty and discussion I might be stricter with my rules than if I found them forthright and open with me.
I probably should mention here, regarding my sisters, that there are 2 years between each of us, so when I say both of them were sexually active before me that is exactly what I mean - I was 22, next one was 19 and youngest sis was 17 - so although we all had similare experiences with months of one another - I was the last!! And for interests sake, my youngest sister is still with her first and only and they have 3 gorgeous children to boot!!
Also I added a hello to Zzetta13, YinYang and a big "hi & hello" to KevinGrey - it's wonderful to meet you!!
Hi Navy!! 
That's to the loss of the young women of Glasgow that you haven't been on a date! I see the wisdom in treating kids differently based on their personality and sense of responsibility - the irony in my case is that I was allowed to babysit from the age or 14 - so it was weird to have a 10.30 curfew when I was 16 when I had been babysitting until midnight at the age of 14...
Hello James!! may I say that I can just picture you sitting in that cracked recliner with those brown eyes narrowed and all that!! you might have the boys running a mile but 'I aint sceered of ya!' I know I am girly - but I'm tough - and I guess not so girly when you put it all that way... mind you I still think the toilet lid should be down and that kind of makes it impossible to leave the seat up - it's a matter of courtesy you know!
Aprilise!!! 
Hello gorgeous one!! It is so good to see you here!! Please come back... and often!!
Thank you Aah Mah - mind you it was hypothetical since Magda Martin was living on her wits by the age of 16... I love the 76th!! I am having such fun!! I actually worked on my fan fic yesterday and should have something to post over there in the next day or so... 
Oooooh - and guess what arrived in the mail this week??? The one and only gorgeous Little Albatross has sent me juggling geese!!
Thank you wonderful, wonderful friend of mine!! I am so spoilt!! 
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"I can put one foot in front of the other - I'm Magdalena, & I'm marching with the 76th" http://76thbattalion.homestead.com/index.html
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