Ten things I learned from watching Firefly
POSTED BY: Lerxst
UPDATED: Saturday, November 13, 2010 12:04
VIEWED: 82722
PAGE 4 of 24
Okay, some have been repeated, but I tried to find new ones. Here goes nothing:
1) That Fox execs are blue handed.
2) Eating strawberries can be very erotic.
3) How to interrogate a buffet table.
4) Never get greedy.
5) Learn the steps, learn the beat, then make up your own. (Safe; when River is dancing.)
6) Serenity, and her crew, are NOT go-se.
7) When you can't walk, you crawl, and when you can't crawl, you find someone to carry you.
8) A stegosaurus and a T. rex will never be friends.
9) No power in the 'verse can stop me.
10) We will rise again.
And a bonus one for your plesure(!):
11) To keep flyin', and know that that's enough.
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"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2+2 makes 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Keep flyin', and remember, THEY can't take the sky from US!
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Never sell Fox a sci-fi western. Instead, sell them a reality show filmed using special time-travelling cameras.
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OK...I tried to come up with some original ones but forgive me if there are re-runs.
10- Cattle rustling never goes out of style.
9- Always take care of your crew...wether you like 'em or not.
8- They may look silly but please don't antagonize them men wearing blue gloves.
7- ALWAYS carry spare parts.
6- The Bible has loopholes.
5- A running engine is a great barganing tool.
4- Dont' get greedy!
3- Sometimes asking questions about the job now can save you a mighty big headache later.
2- Firefly class transports are beautiful, hard working, quality ships that should NEVER be made fun of.
1- If someone shoots you...those feelings don't mellow with time.
"We will rise again!"
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From the deleted scenes:
If you want something, take it...or ask for it...more than 70 earths spinnin' in the galaxy, and the meek have inherited not a one.
RIVER
Purple elephants are flying.
MAL
Good. Thanks for the update.
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I'm going to modify and say "Top 10 Things I learned watching unaired episodes of Firefly":
10.Sure, some boys may not always say the right things but they sure beat boys that hold a gun to your head. (And gets blood all over your nice white shirt).
9.On that note, If a boy's "Date" includes taking you to see proof of alien life and, while enclosed in a dark room alone with you, he actually concentrates on that "alien" life...odds are he's going to screw up the whole compliment thing. These are the kind of boys worth keeping...patience will be required.
8.All I have to do to get straddled by a good looking captain-tight-pants while naked is fake my own death and ship myself to him in a coffin.
7.NEVER, and I mean NEVER shoot at a woman's husband...especially if that woman can kill a man with her pinky.
(For that matter, NEVER EVER try to take a woman's baby, either.)
6.Being open minded about participating in crime can often lead to standing next to a naked captain-tight-pants. This is a good thing.
5.Jayne, despite earlier annoucements to the contrary, DOES kiss em' on the mouth. This is also a good thing.
4.Captains with tight-pants rarely feel girly or dirty. Especially when they are about to make a possible last stand.
3.Hover craft, schmuther craft...nothing is faster than a good piece of horse flesh. For that matter, sure, a lasers shiny, but the battery has to run out eventually.
2.Always lock the door to your spaceship.
1.Rice wine and guns are the perfect tools for seducing a captain-tight-pants.
AND FINALLY:
The main thing I learned from watching the unaired episodes of Firefly is that I want more Firefly. :(
JoJo
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Never whine about how crappy the souvenirs are if you want to get anywhere with that cute mechanic.
When redeeming a torture victim from your hated enemy, make sure you aren't paying too much.
If you pay your laborers next to nothing, you can pass the savings on to the customer.
Doctors can't shoot worth anything.
If the word "testicle" comes up in a conversation, always be very careful about what is said immediately thereafter.
"Yo-Saff-Bridge" is Chinese.
Companions are NOT whores. Those who flunk out of the Guild of Companions ARE. (Corollary: The Guild of Companions must NOT be referred to as "Whore Academy")
Mary Mother of God had numerous wacky nephews.
Whose colors is God flying?
Don't move the conversation in a "Jayne's fault" direction...
...or a "let's dump River and Simon on some border planet" direction, for that matter.
If you're picking up a weird heat bounce off your wake, it's not an engine flux: it's a bounty hunter who's not a bounty hunter.
Preachers have smutty minds (probably because they're not really preachers).
Elephants have explosive diarrhea.
No matter what your profession, you most assuredly have funnier stories to tell than Simon.
Firefly is set in the same universe as Starship Troopers.
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Haha! Those are great!
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Here's a few from me:
10. Never mess with a man in a pretty floral bonnet.
9. Dont pick up strange survivors. You never know where they've been.
8. If someone tears up your symbol, they arent bad, they just dont understand.
7. It helps to be a good man....well, an alright one.
6. Take the slaver's money, then hit him with the space pool cue. The getaway is faster that way.
5. Watch out for monkeys. Dangerous space ones can wreck an engine room.
4. If you're going to try to screw people for money, dont be surprised if you wind up locked in a trash bin while the cops bear down on you.
3. Everytime the crazy psychic lady says there's trouble, it might be time to actually leave. Ariel, Bushwhacked, Out of Gas.....
2. Getting tortured by a madman? Not a really great way to bond. Effective way- yes, but not a good way.
1. Getting a stupid stick that makes a sound like it's raining can sometimes be better than getting married.
And the bonus- There's nothing more deceiving than a low-down dirty deceiver. Because pain is scary.
He looked bigger when I couldn't see him.
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Here's a few I came up with, sorry if they're repeats.
- There's no power in the 'verse that can stop Kaylee from being cheerfull.
- You cant be sure its a buffet table unless you question it.
- The Fox Execs IQ's add up to... let me do the math here...nothin' and a nothin', carry the nothin'...
- Big Government types like to wear hats.
- Mal's not a monster
- You cant fix faith, it fixes you.
- Serenity is NOT a piece of go-se.
- Jayne is heavy.
- During a hostage situation, dont negotiate, shoot them in the face.
- When you cant run, you crawl; and when you can't crawl, you find someone to carry you.
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WASH:
"Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... 'This Land'."
"I think we should call it...your grave!"
"Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"
"Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh...now die!"
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