How Do You handle Death?

POSTED BY: RiveR6213
UPDATED: Sunday, January 18, 2009 19:09
VIEWED: 23778
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RIVER6213

Monday, June 12, 2006 2:31 PM

TheSomnambulist,

You certainly point for pointed my last post. I really don't know what to say seeing I just woke up.

I guess the only thing I can say for now is this regarding living in another country or travelling around. No matter where I go, I take myself with me. So going somewhere really means nothing. I best stay where I'm at.

I honestly didn't want this thread being about me, but it looks like it ended up that way. Just wanted to know how people handled death. Now I need to go find some coffee and get used to gravity pulling at me....the benefits of age.

River

MICK91

Monday, June 12, 2006 2:41 PM

I like to think that grow old and die within a certain time period so that we would try to appreciate every day that we are alive. Besides, who knows if we don't just move on to a whole different level of existence...

MICJWELCH

Monday, June 12, 2006 3:45 PM

Sorry if I haven't read all of the responses to this, but I haven't been on the site much lately.

I don't see death the same way most people do, because I believe we existed before we were born, and we will continue to exist after we die. I don't fear my own death.

I do fear the death of others though. I didn't take my grandfather's death as hard as the rest of my family, but it was hard. I miss him. That's the problem. I won't see him again until I die. And once that happens, I doubt it will seem like much time has passed. But until then, it is a long time.

I am very close to my family, especially my wife and my kids. Even though I know I would see them again, I would grieve for them. It's natural to feel pain. It's natural to die too, though.

JIGMAN

Monday, June 12, 2006 3:46 PM

Please forgive me if my thoughts sound naive, as I am nigh but an untstable college sophmore. However, I have dealt with death on a few occasions. My father was killed in a car wreck recently, my grandparents were killed off by various maladies over the years, and my best friend (the kind with no expectations) is dying of a slow-killing medical disorder. This is just to inform of of my past experiences with death.

I do not believe in grieving for the dead. When death comes into my life, I rejoice. I rejoice in the memories of those that I have lost. I think of my fortune tho have known these mighty people that have enriched my somewhat meager existence by having known them. I have a slightly morbid outlook on life in that I acknowledge the absolute that I will die, and in a long enough timespan, the world will be as though I have never existed. But I consider this not to be depressing. On the contrary it drives me to push a little harder, to earn my right to say I am alive and have been in the company of those who truly lived. When I am dead, I hope people will remember me as a man who fought the good fight, never gave in and took a cowards path. I consider that the more I earn my existence each day, that will be just a little bit longer that those who survive me will remember me just a little bit longer for it.

As such, I do not believe in greiving over a person's death. The person is dead and that means thier problems here are over. They lost the fight, as we all will someday. I am still here, still fighting, and instead of greiving a person's death, I revel in thier life. I believe that there is something after death, and that is all I need to know about it. The afterlife does not concern me, after all, I going to find out no matter what eventually, so I would rather concern myself with the sensations of this rather fleeting existence. And when I think of those not here anymore, I breathe deep in thier memories, and feel all the better that I knew people when they were alive.

I suppose it was having this philosophy on life that drew me to Firefly in the first place. Fight the good fight, even if it is inevitable that you lose.

-------------------------------------------------
All good things must come to an end.

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Monday, June 12, 2006 3:59 PM

Quote:
I've been homeless and starving at different points since I got my 214, and the only thing I can say about death is that it's stayed both close and far away enough to fuck my life up.

Chris

Have you been able to access any of the VA's services at all?

I am on The List. We are The Forsaken and we aim to burn!
"We don't fear the reaper"

ZOID

Monday, June 12, 2006 4:04 PM

Who's gonna tell you when
It's too late?
Who's gonna tell you things
Aren't so great?

You can't go on
Thinking
Nothing's wrong...
Who's gonna drive you home
Tonight?

Who's gonna pick you up
When you fall?
And who's gonna hang it up
When you call?
Who's gonna pay attention
To your dreams?
And who's gonna plug their ears
When you scream?

You can't go on
Thinking
Nothing's wrong...
Who's gonna drive you home
Tonight?

Who's gonna hold you down
When you shake?
And who's gonna come around
When you break?

You can't go on
Thinking
Nothing's wrong...
Who's gonna drive you home
Tonight?

You know you can't go on
Thinking
Nothing's gone...
Who's gonna drive you home
Tonight?

Serenadingly,

zoid

P.S.
Lyrics by Ric Ocasek, vocals by the incomparable, late, lamented Benjamin Orr (nee: Orzechowski), who died of pancreatic cancer on October 3, 2000, at the age of 53.

What is lost when a human being dies? Nothing much. Just everything... Anybody who doesn't 'get' that needs to pull their head out of their ass. I mean, could'ja be a little more self-absorbed? I don't think so.
_________________________________________________

"I aim to misbehave." -Capt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity, a.k.a. 'the BDBOF'

JIGMAN

Monday, June 12, 2006 4:13 PM

To quote the devil:
"Vanity, definitely my favorite sin."

-------------------------------------------------
All good things must come to an end.

ZOID

Monday, June 12, 2006 5:24 PM

A little exercise in analogical thinking, for everyone:

Why was (virtually) everyone so accepting of Book's death in "Serenity", yet so incensed, irate, gut-punched by Wash's death?

I mean, they were only fictional characters, right? And Wash was nobody's definition of a hero (he was the 'common man' character), nor was the sudden extinguishing of his life particularly heroic. Hell, he didn't even get to finish his movie-cliche 'last words'...

So why the furor? Are we grieving for Wash, or are we grieving for Zoe? Or are we grieving for our own loss -- never seeing or experiencing this person again -- even though he was only a fictional character? How about some combination of all these aspects?

While you're pondering that, keep in mind that we're talking about a parallel to real people dying in the 'real' world in which we live. Even those we don't know. Every life has worth, every loss of that valuable worth is felt deeply by someone (even if it's only me and kindred souls).

Unless of course, you have succeeded in killing yourself emotionally, while still cluttering up the environment physically...

Respectfully,

zoid

P.S.
I don't know if Joss handled Wash's death the way he did on purpose, but that was a stroke of genius, and no doubt about it. By not letting him finish his 'last words', Wash becomes the very image of the way the 'comman man' dies: Suddenly, leaving things unfinished, and almost unattended, as Life and its challenges continue to rush at those who must carry on. And yet, we still mourn and miss them in quiet, unguarded moments, even years later. Even years later, we may be transfixed by a happy memory of a lost friend or loved one; a word spoken, a loving caress, or a funny facial expression.

Anyone who says they can't feel that is either lying (cowering in fear) or very sick in the head. To those in the former category: Grow a pair and get back in the game; you "have nothing to fear but Fear itself". To those in the latter category I recommend, as Dennis Miller put it, "leaning in and taking one for the team"...

(NB: Baseball-speak, meaning 'leaning in' to the strike zone and being intentionally struck by a fastball (in the head), so that the team gains an advantage at the expense of the batter's personal physical pain. Capisci?)
_________________________________________________

"I aim to misbehave." -Capt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity, a.k.a. 'the BDBOF'

TRISTAN

Monday, June 12, 2006 5:52 PM

Amen, Zoid.

____________

WINDIE

Monday, June 12, 2006 6:17 PM

Well river6213, you have managed to pull me in again, very interesting thread.

I think I am more like you than I would really like to be. Ok not as open as you appear to be now, but hey I am a big believer in sh!t happens.

As for the whole death thing I have seen enough for me not to even think about it anymore. It is just what happens, people can bitch and wine all they like, you're still getting a good bite of death eventually. There is nothing you can do about it doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, you are going to get there.

Human's in general tend to think that they are here for a special purpose, well we are not. There is a big cycle that goes something like you're born, you do a bit, then you get off the bus and give someone else a go. It's as simple as that, I don't even believe that you have much choice in how it is going to be unless you are born into money. Personally I am glad I wasn't I like the uncertainty that goes along with having just enough. It would take the fun out of life if I could just say I want that one and that one, oh and that one as well.

But as for death who cares. I don't and when I am gone don't grieve, just have a good party and get on with your existance. I would much rather be the cause of a damn good hangover that you won't forget in a while than be cried about.

Why have they taken the sky from ME

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