Male and Female Imponderables Part IV
POSTED BY: Tristan
UPDATED: Monday, May 22, 2006 13:18
VIEWED: 28190
PAGE 7 of 19
Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixRose:
I hope so!
'Tis not easy for me, the finding of people I actually wish to cuddle. The talking and falling for people. The wondering if they actually like me or not. (this is due to many past experiences.) Then with the finally being able to cuddle...
*sigh*
No, 'tis not easy.
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I totally sympathise! There are a real shortage of people I've ever felt instant chemistry with. (It's much easier to lust after people on telly somehow!) In fact I can count them on the fingers of one hand the people who have made my insides melt. One was a guy who I tried desperately to pluck up my nerve to flirt with right up until he introduced me to his boyfriend, another was a girl who is so very straight! There were 3 others but either I never approached them or they never noticed I was alive!
A friend of mine once said that I was too picky. I wish she could tell that to my body! There's been a couple of guys that have liked me and been really sweet that I tried to fancy but it was all just a bit of a damp squib! Sigh!
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Ooh, Deepgirl, that is a good one. I'll go for the "general first". I have spent most of my life in front of people (Drama, jobs, etc) and have always had to talk. I don't mean just stand on a stage and talk at people loudly, I mean mingling with the masses in character, etc. I am also in a business that requires me to talk to people daily (insurance). I don't have that much trouble doing it, but here's a secret; if I had my choice, I would rather not actually talk to many people at all.
As far as the opposite sex goes, I have always been a bit hesitant. I am more articulate at writing (I love the internet!), but I can talk when I need to. I of course had the same early school-boy red-faced bashfulness around girls, but I grew out of that around high-school. I now find it easier to talk to females, and generally get along with y'all better than with the males where I now find myself living.
I still meet someone every now and then that can still turn me into a stuttering idiot-boy, but it is rare...I have a feeling it will happen when I meet the BDH's!
Holding until you get back, Captain.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tristan:
I still meet someone every now and then that can still turn me into a stuttering idiot-boy, but it is rare...I have a feeling it will happen when I meet the BDH's!
LOL. Agreed. I would turn into a babbling moron in a space of about two seconds. Especially in front of Adam Baldwin...and Nathan Fillion...and Alan Tudyk...oh hell, probably all of them.
I also find it easier to talk on the internet or write. It's amazing how fast an idea that sounds so good in your head turns into comeplete gibberish once it finds its way out of your mouth.
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"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
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Quote:
Originally posted by deepgirl187:
Wow, the fourth incarnation. The imponderables just keep coming don't they?
I don't know if this had been brought up already, but here goes:
Since much of this thread doesn't actually apply to me (I've never had a boyfriend or had sex) I thought I'd bring up a topic that does. I've always had trouble talking to people (though when I was a child it was easier to speak with boys). So I was wondering how many of you guys find it easy to speak with the opposite sex, or people in general.
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I again sympathise! I was always a silent wallflower with my head buried in a book rather than have to talk to people.
What really helped me was joining the drama society. Once I got over the terror of standing up on stage in front of people nothing was ever as scary again! Plus, I found I really enjoyed pretending to be other people for a while. If you can act like a confident and extrovert person, sooner or later you find it's become less of an act! That's just how it worked for me with strangers in general. Still working on the whole talking to those I really like thing!
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Oh what a thread! deepgirl187, maybe you should try putting yourself into situation where you have to talk with people. Avoid place where people go trolling for relationships. Try talking with the cashier at the grocery and maybe even the people in line. I know people go hunting at the store, but in general most people just look to the front of the line waiting for their turn. Also try this in an elevator, at the DMV, or go to fundraisers like bake sales, benefit auctions, or benefit car shows. Then use your interests to meet someone with things in common with you. It gets easier with time.
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Quote:
Originally posted by EmmaRigby:
There are a real shortage of people I've ever felt instant chemistry with. (It's much easier to lust after people on telly somehow!) In fact I can count them on the fingers of one hand the people who have made my insides melt. One was a guy who I tried desperately to pluck up my nerve to flirt with right up until he introduced me to his boyfriend, another was a girl who is so very straight! There were 3 others but either I never approached them or they never noticed I was alive!
A friend of mine once said that I was too picky. I wish she could tell that to my body! There's been a couple of guys that have liked me and been really sweet that I tried to fancy but it was all just a bit of a damp squib! Sigh!
That is sad! I've had that "kinda the wrong sexuality" thing happen, too. Badness.
Yeah, be nice if we could just tell our body to react! I'm close, but there still has to be something for my natural response to work with!
This seems to be a real theme for a lot of people; the one-sided crush. I mean, I've had 'em, but usually there's a fairly mutual attraction. Only in high school was there from-afar lusting after people who never looked at me much. Even that was kinda weak tea, y'know? If I really, really crush on someone I've met, it's likely that they're feelin' something too. I don't know about others really, really crushing on me and being unrequited; never been approached or asked out by someone I wasn't interested in (who actually knew me. Not including clubs and bars and such, here) It's just always seemed like if the chemistry was there, it was there (also assuming they like women-folk. Heh) and if it wasn't really there it kinda died away easy. Any thoughts on this?
Oh! and the talking to people thing. Sometimes I still find it difficult, but other times it's just so easy to start a conversation. I figure if I can't start a conversation with someone, we have nothing to say. I can generally try, but it's usually something like "Hey I like that ring/necklace/piece of clothing" and if something develops from there, I can talk pretty easy. If not, well, they don't wanna talk to me, I guess.
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One summer.
One mission.
One legion of Browncoats.
Starting June 23rd, we aim to misbehave.
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I have no problem speaking to people of the oposite sex. Can have some problems talking to people I dont know though, atleast casually. Bit shy at times.
Have done alot of talking infront of crowds though (larps, a bit theater, schoolprojekts) Not a problem, except i get a huge adrenalin rush everytime that feels good, but can get me kinda distracted.
You can’t stop the Signal.
Keep spreading the word about Firefly!
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What is it about us Browncoats that we always seem to have so very many different things in common?!
I have had a long and varied history of difficulty talking to and getting to know others. In some ways it has gotten much easier as I've gotten older... and on the other hand, I'm much more insulated now and not quite as much of a social butterfly as I was during and immediately post-college. As a kid, I wasn't terribly shy, but I was something of a bookworm. Then in high school, I really retreated into my shell... I was that super-tall slightly nerdy girl, wearing my dad's old baggy clothes and hanging out with the skater kids. I had friends, but at the end of the day I was basically a loner.
It got better in college. I actually started to dress like a girl and by junior year I was not even afraid to wear heels anymore. Which is a big step when you're a girl who's six feet tall barefoot! But there was still a big part of me that found it hard to talk to people, especially the opposite sex. I spent so much of my life feeling like a wallflower that I just didn’t know how to handle it once guys actually seemed to be interested in me. Even now, I don’t feel unattractive anymore but I still think I’m a little more in need of reassurance than the average woman. I am still kind of shy when it comes to talking to new people, but if someone else gets the conversation going, I’m pretty comfortable talking to just about anyone.
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Quote:
Originally posted by WorshipMal:
What is it about us Browncoats that we always seem to have so very many different things in common?!
I was not even afraid to wear heels anymore. Which is a big step when you're a girl who's six feet tall barefoot!
Hey I'm a tall girl too! I'm 5'11 (my sister is 6'2 in bare feet) and was wondering whether your height has ever affected meeting men. I'm not bothered by how tall a man is. If their short and a cutie that's just fine by me! But some guys seem to have a real issue dating a taller woman. My ex-boyfriend was about an inch shorter than me (but always claimed we were exactly the same height) and actually asked me to always wear flat shoes when we went out together. I got fed up in the end for being made to feel bad about something I'd always liked (it makes reaching those tall shelves easier, plus with my height my weight simply becomes statuesque. If I was shorter I'd be spherical!).
How about it guys? How would you feel about dating a woman taller than you who could kill you with her pinkie (well, only on a bad PMS day!!)
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i think a lot of people are just so superficial... they, for whatever reason, refuse to accept someone based on appearance, social status, race... but i have learned to avoid that situation. The people i seem to communicate best with, are for the most part, very open, free-thinking individuals who enjoy seeking the knowledge of others. In a situation like that, I don't have any problem speaking and letting my views be heard.
I try to keep an open mind in all regards, but honestly, some people put me off simply by they're unwillingness to accept new ideas or refuse to hear a different opinion...
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