A moment of female cattiness and sisterhood bonding
POSTED BY: FutureMrsFIllion
UPDATED: Sunday, May 7, 2006 04:53
VIEWED: 12539
PAGE 3 of 10
Eloisa:
This could be serious. You should run immediately to the ladies' room, whip 'em out and verify that it's the left one that is smaller, not the right.
If you're a blonde: Remember, a mirror will make your left one look like your right one, and vice versa. So always be sure to check which hand you're 'hoisting' your boobs with in front of the mirror in the public loo...
Delightedly,
zoid
P.S.
Seriously, though, if your dominant-hand breast is the larger of the two, that is a non-representative and very interesting result (more details, please, strictly for research purposes, of course 
). A breast is, after all, primarily adipose (fatty) tissue overlying muscle. The more you work that hand/arm, the more pronounced the loss of stored breast fat and the greater the tone of the underlying muscle. It's not terribly magical, after all. Is there anything particularly strenuous that you do left-handed, like bowling, gardening, computer backpack carrying, or javelin throwing?
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"Walter, if you don't leave this room immediately, I swear to God I'm going to tell you!" -Joanne Burns, Mystery, Alaska
...in reply to her husband's demand that he be told what was upsetting their daughter; her answer caused him to retire from the field, and most reasonably so. If anybody notices you laughing out loud at work, you should give them the same answer.
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Thanks for starting this very entertaining thread!..and thanks to the enthusiastic participants. YoSafBridge is my favorite non-crew member on Serenity and I think Ms. Hendricks is all natural ... except for the acting part and I don't think her boobies can do that on their own.
As for me, I follow the identified norm - righthanded and about .5 cup smaller on the right. Boy, I never expected to post that statement on the board! Anyway, carry on...
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"Appears they've cancelled the show and we're still here. What does that make us?"
"Big damn junkies, Sir!"
"Ain't we just."
http://karenallover.blogspot.com/
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Zoid
What about us ambidextrous females with one side larger?
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Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
Zoid
What about us ambidextrous females with one side larger?
I'm a little worried that mine keep getting bigger. No really!
Every time I put weight on they expand but on the infrequent occasions I loose weight they don't go down! They are now both totally out of proportion to the rest of me and if this goes on I can see that by the time I'm 30 I'll have been suffocated under the weight of my own bosoms!
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msckaren wrote:
Quote:
...As for me, I follow the identified norm - righthanded and about .5 cup smaller on the right. Boy, I never expected to post that statement on the board!...
I'd just like to say that I'm happier'n a pig in slop to be of some little assistance to y'all on the weighty subject of breast dimensions and cup size.
It's a rare opportunity for a male, and I'm just so emotionally moved to be allowed to participate, virtually. Honestly, there could be tears...
Speechlessly,
zoid
_________________________________________________
"I aim to misbehave." -Capt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity, a.k.a. 'the BDBOF'
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Emma I can feel your pain.
God did not bless me with an adundance of the "beautiful art" so admired by zoid. I was a small b for most of my teen to 20's. Then I had my first son and went from a 34b to a 38 (baby weight) E! It was awful.
Now I claim a full D and the worst part is, I am getting smaller and they are either staying the same or getting bigger, because they proceed me into the room by about 5 secounds!
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Quote:
Originally posted by FutureMrsFIllion:
Emma I can feel your pain.
God did not bless me with an adundance of the "beautiful art" so admired by zoid. I was a small b for most of my teen to 20's. Then I had my first son and went from a 34b to a 38 (baby weight) E! It was awful.
Now I claim a full D and the worst part is, I am getting smaller and they are either staying the same or getting bigger, because they proceed me into the room by about 5 secounds!
LOL!
I'm far too scared to ever get pregnant! I'm a 38 DD already. If they expanded in the same proportion I believe that they might end up visable from outer space!
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My child find thee a lovely surgeon and keep him on speed dial, for in thine 40's you will require a little lift and tuck me thinks. I can't wait to get one, and the good thing is, if you get diagnosed as having back problems and other various issues because of the size, your insurance will pay for it! Yippppppeeeee!
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Lol! All this is so funny. My breast exercises are as follows:
1. Cup both breasts, hands underneath.
2. Locate fiancee
3. Start making a beat (bah bah bah bah bah oh)
4. Bounce one breast up, lower as you bounce other breast up, repeat.
5. Chase above mentioned fiancee around the house, bouncing naked breasts as you holler out the beat.
It's his favorite game.
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FutureMrsFIllion wrote:
Quote:
Zoid
What about us ambidextrous females with one side larger?
You may fancy yourself ambidextrous, but your body knows better.
It's not about dexterity, in any case. Dexterity is defined as "readiness and grace in physical activity; especially : skill and ease in using the hands". More germane to breast dimensions, though, is the amount of physical exertion performed with the dominant hand/arm.
Women engage in a lot of house cleaning, for example. Men do not, as I'm sure I don't need to tell you. If you have children, and a standard husband, this means an incremental increase in scrubbing, vacuuming, and the general removal of biohazardous materials from the living environment that "aren't going to get done by the washing-up fairy", as my beloved wife puts it. Cleaning up after a bunch of dear ne'er-do-wells is hard work, and is generally performed with both dexterity and strenuous physical exertion. As a consequence, the dominant hand/arm get the majority of the work (regardless whether you're ambidextrous when writing or performing other fine-detail work).
By way of contrast, when I'm unloading the trunk of my wife's shiny red Mustang, bringing its weekly load of can't-live-without purchases into our abode, I usually carry the heavier and bulkier items in my non-dominant left hand/arm (and clenched between my teeth), so that I may use my less-heavily-laden and dexterous right hand/arm to open the entryway doors to our house.
Between this and the typical grunt-ape, both-hands-legs-and-back-muscles labor required of most males in a monogamous heterosexual relationship, my physiology maintains its symmetry to an indistiguishable degree of variation. It has also given me a very strong jaw (i.e. from carrying packages clenched between my teeth), a physical trait many women (subconsciously?) find attractive in the male of the species.
So, if you ladies would like to 'even 'em out', the answer is fairly straightforward. Simply concentrate on using your 'off' hand to accomplish the rigorous and routine daily chores you currently unconsciously perform with your dominant hand/arm.
But I would just like to interject, before you do something so radical: Please don't do it. To reiterate: I think it's charming that one breast is smaller than the other. It implies naturalness and a spectacularly attractive lack of self-consciousness, and underscores the feminine virtue of tireless determination and effort in the face of overwhelming odds (meaning, a husband and children who are oblivious to their surroundings).
Aren't women forced to be overly-conscious of their bodies enough as it is? Please leave your breasts alone. If they require a lot of meticulous attention and conscientious care, well, speaking for all men, that's another one of those things we were put here by a beneficent God(dess) to do for you, and we can probably do it equally well with either hand. It means that much to us...
Clumsily,
zoid
P.S.
We do know that I'm being semi-whimsical in my characterization of male and female roles, don't we? It's my 'Way': Never be totally serious about anything, if it can be avoided, and never let 'em know for sure which is the 'semi' and which is the 'whimsical'...
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"So... I have a 'way'? Is that better'n a 'plan'?." -Capt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity, a.k.a. 'the BDBOF'
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