Things they'll likely never say.....
POSTED BY: Ankhagogo
UPDATED: Sunday, February 26, 2006 10:20
VIEWED: 32466
PAGE 6 of 10
Inara: Comeon,comeon...OOooohhHhoh...Deeper Simon,deeper...thats it thasssit!
Mal:Simon never has to pay Inara...and she talks dirty for him...
River:Why are we watchin them again?
Mal:Come on River read my mind here.
River: Oh I see,I love you Mal
Mal:I love you too.
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Book:Holy Cow
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Reaver Man: Its my right to rape and eat any one I please and I'll sue you if say no.
Other Reaver Man: Why dont we rape and eat each other?
Reaver Man: What?...Are you sick or sumthin? I dont know who you raped or ate before.Besides I dont swing that way.
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Saying that God authored confusion by creating Lucifer is like saying my sniper rifle goes out all by itself and shoots people 2 miles away so I dont get into trouble.
Ridin the Ocean's boring when there aint no waves
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Quote:
River: Eta kuram nah smekh!
And, after that,
River: [anything at all]
OMFG!! THAT is awesome...bwahahahahahahahahahahahah!
Amiton.
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This thread's a hoot. Sorry, but my favorite was:
Quote:
Haken: "I'm going to develop a website that focuses on all the quality reality shows that FOX broadcasts."
{sarcasm} God, I LOVE those shows. What channel's that on anyway? {/sarcasm}
Kaele
AIM - Dewlanna
YID - jedi_kaele
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Quote:
JAYNE: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...
*sporfle* I have just realized that drinking and reading parts of this thread do not go together. Jayne will start sprouting Shakespeare when pigs fly and Hell host the winter olympics.
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Jayne! Try not to steal too much of their shit.
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Wish me luck...I'm trying to find some rational explanations for situations, maybe mini-fics, in which they say some of these. Watch for them in the future! Meantime...
Jayne: Oh man...what's that guard gonna say when he figures out I snuck a gun in here? Best hand it in right away.
Kaylee: Simon, you are a sad, scary little man.
River: Well...I'm the biggest...SO THERE!
***
Edited for -
O.K., I did it, mini-scenerios of when they might say some of my favorites from this list...
---
(Simon is trying to talk to Kaylee, who is clearly not listening, but working. Responding just with “yeah”s and “mhummm”s, and finally, to get her attention…)
Simon: Kaylee, I think I'm in love with Jayne.
Kaylee: Fine with me. Up for a threesome?
(beat)
Kaylee: You are so gullable!
(Simon and Kaylee walk into a store, where an old lady waits behind the counter)
Old lady: (to Kaylee) Hello, may I help you?
Kaylee: Yeah, I’m lookin’ for…
Old lady nods, then, to Simon…
Old Lady: And your brother?
Simon immidently feels a bit akward…
Simon: This is not my sister.
Jayne: Jayne is a girl's name. (repeats, mockingly, twice.)
WILL PEOPLE STOP GORRAM SAYING THAT?
Mal: The nice thing about not being puritanical about sex is not being uncomfortable when someone else has it.
Beat
Or so Inara says.
Wash: Sometimes I think you don't take me seriously.
(While playing with his dinosaurs with a soap-opera plot)
Visiting a different whore-house, trying to cheer up an upset Kaylee.
Jayne: Look, they got boy whores! – AND they service womenfolk.
Wash: "I feel bad for you, Jayne. Want some tea and ice for the bruise?" - um…sarcasm?
(Kaylee and River are arguing loudly, but indecipherably, finally, Kaylee turns to Mal)
Kaylee: Cap’n, who’s right?
Mal: Ummmm…as she’s…kinda physic, I gotta go with River on this one.
Kaylee: She wants us to cut the percentage we spend on food in half.
Mal: "My God! I was on the wrong side!"
(Kaylee smirks smugly, River sticks her tongue out)
(struggling through it)
JAYNE: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...
(Throws down copy of “Hamlet”)
What am I readin’ this for?
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Jayne: I'm thinking of trading Vera in for something smaller.
Jayne: Does this holster make my butt look fat?
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WWJD: What Would Jayne Do?
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Quote:
Originally posted by LadyKnight:
(struggling through it)
JAYNE: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...
(Throws down copy of “Hamlet”)
What am I readin’ this for?
Bwaha! These are hilarious!
Could you possibly make more of these? *g*
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*gasping for breath* ROTFLMAO!!!!
More! More! More!
"Do not go gentle into that good night....
Rage, rage against the dying of the light. . ."
--Dylan Thomas
Though my soul may set in darkness
It will rise in perfect light.
I have loved the stars too fondly
To be fearful of the night.
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Mal: I need some baggy sweatpants...these tightpants are cuttin' off my circulation!
Zoe: Does this dress make me look fat?
Wash: Yes. Enormous even.
Wash: I'm the best at flying there ever was. Landing, not so much.
Jayne: I'd like to get married...to a nice girl.
River: I think I want to have more unecessary brain surgery.
Book: Mal, about your father...I'm him. Y'know. In the non-biblical sense. As in, I diddled your mother...who, by the way, is a fine piece of apple pie, if you get my meaning *wink*
Simon: I am only fwee and a haff yeas owld...bbblbbblbblbbbblblbbb!
Inara: C'mon, Ath, ugly me up...if you're man enough! Or don't you have that legendary stamina I've heard of? *gets smacked* OOOH! Yeah, that's the way. First I give you a black mark in the Registry and now *get smacked again and licks the blood from her own lip* mmmm...you give me black marks...do it again, baby!
Kaylee: So, Shepherd, Jayne tells me you are "more or less intact"...I'm hoping it is "more" *sound of unzipping*
Joss: So, [insert a FOX exec here], I've got another idea for a show...
Bester: I fixed it.
Badger: Malcolm Reynolds...big. tough. veteran...PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!! IT ISN'T MY FAULT! THEY MADE ME DO IT! I'LL PAY YOU TRIPLE FOR THE CARGO! I PROMISE! Just ple-ee-ee-eease don't kill me, okay? Buddy? Pal? errr ummm...Partner? I mean...BOSS! Yes, you're the boss now. Boss of me, of them...Boss o' the Worlds, I say!
Reaver: Oh, I say! All this raping and eating of folk is bad form.
Commander Harken: No mandatory registration markings...blow 'em apart! FIRE!
1st Officer: Uh, commander, this is a medical frigate.
Elder Gommen: Would you check out the rack on Saffron! Dude, you are so lucky we don't have coin and have to pay you with food, wine and sex slaves...oh, by the way, while you were bombed on rice wine, you married her, but it ain't so bad. 2 words: golfball...gardenhose...*nudge nudge wink wink*
Crow: Nah, that's cool. Niska will understand. Hey, wanna get a beer? Maybe shoot some pool?
Tracey: Well, its kinda complicated. I'm really Womack's mail-order bride.
Hands of Blue: You spoke to the prisoners? Well, were just gonna have to extract that information from you, which is why *broad smile & a chuckle* we wear these shiny blue rubber gloves. Please turn around, drop your drawers and grab your ankles...
Serenity: Oxygen level at...oh, to hell with it...your gonna die, purple, bloated and in a fetal position. Maybe next time the cute mechanic says "replace the crappy compression coil" you'll do it, huh? Oh wait, you won't because Oxygen level at...
BWAH!
TCM
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