Things they'll likely never say.....
POSTED BY: Ankhagogo
UPDATED: Sunday, February 26, 2006 10:20
VIEWED: 32466
PAGE 5 of 10
Mal: Come to think of it, you can take the sky from me.
Mal: Slither looks like it's gonna be stupid.
Wash: God, these shirts are tacky!
Inara: You're right, Mal! I am a whore!
Zoe: Ah... Ugh... There we go! I finally pulled that stick out of my ass.
Simon: I should really tweeze my eyebrows.
Kaylee: I am taking a vow of celebacy.
River: I hate my misshapen feet.
Joss: I hate Summer's feet.
Joss: Aw, why didn't I write Fastlane instead!?
Joss: You know what? My fans seem to like this character. I think I'll let him live.
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Could you please just make it stranger? Just stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny? ~Joss Whedon
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Mal: The nice thing about not being puritanical about sex is not being uncomfortable when someone else has it.
Zoe: I like the one with ruffles!
Wash: Sometimes I think you don't take me seriously.
Jayne: Look, they got boy whores!
Kaylee: Find me that kid takin a dirtnap with Baby Jesus!
Book: Bible's broken. Inconsistencies. False logistics. Doesn't make sense.
Simon: Any more of that and I'll show you I got manparts!
River: Wacky fun!
Inara: Is that Jayne? Is that really him? Wash, pinch me -- I must be dreamin'!
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Please remember that the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
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Nice one:
Quote:
Originally posted by asarian:
With my mind still on the chicken thread, I guess this one, in reverse, works here too:
Ruby (Safe): [anything at all]
--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam
Hahah! This thread's great.
Alliance Officer: (after viewing Book's ID Card) Kill this man immediatly!!
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Quote:
Originally posted by Fireflythemovie:
Fox execs: "We were utter fools."
This one's your winner...well at least it would be if you ever start having a winner... ;)
Inara: I'm tired of sex, wealth, and glory...hey Mal! Let's play Russian Roulette with the Lassiter!
Jayne: 2+2=4
Book: F**K YOU, MAL!
Simon: Well, duhhh!
River: Actually, I am Simon's brother, and we are in love. It is all wrong, and we don't care if everyone knows now.
Simon: What?!!? No it isn't...well, okay, yeah, it's true.
Zoe: Take me, Jayne, take me hard.
Kaylee: Bitch came up in my house and played that shit on me? Oh it's on...it is soooo on!
Wash: Um, Hawaiian shirts are tacky, please stop buying them for me.
Mal: So, I got on my knees for this Alliance Commander and, well, long story short *snicker* he let me and the squad go. He still waves on occasion you know... *dreamy stare*
YoSaffBridge: Gertrude Labia Lipschitz...that's my real name. Happy now?
Jubel Early: Screw this Bounty Hunter gig, I'm trying out for Parliamentary Idol! *bad singing as Coolio as he exits*
Mr. Universe: Listen, Lovebot. Get it? I have a Looooveboooot...I haven't got time to mess with your security feeds and psychotic psychic. Two words-*ticks off on fingers* Love. Bot. *clicks off screen*
Mal: Huh. I reckon that means we're up go se creek without a paddle. Oh well...Kaylee, wanna have sex in the engine room instead of saving the day, seein' as we're probably Reaver bait assuming this jackoff assassin doesn't catch us first?
Kaylee: Not again... *rolls eyes, begins disrobing mindlessly as she plods down the hall*
Jayne: Yer not gonna make me watch again, are you? Sex gives me an uncomfortableness.
Tracey: You're a rabbit, Mal!
(though someone at Fox thinks he did! Watch the subtitles...)
Amnon: Jail? As someone's bitch? Um, sounds cool!
Mrs. Burgess: Baby? What baby? Rance Burgess, you get back here and tell me who the whore is!
Joss Whedon: Firefly? Never heard of it. What's a Browncoat? Sorry, not ringing any bells...perhaps if you acted out a scene?
Mal(to Wash in War Stories): Yeah, I banged your wife during the war...and twice last night!
Mal(about Patience): Oooh! I wanna tap THAT!
Zoe: Me too...
Wash: Grow up, would ya?
Jayne: Well, if you reverse the particle flux and amplify the residual static, you should get a definitive solution to your inertial response factors...well, that is unless the polarity of the axial compensators is compromised due to a hydraulic dysfunction.
Inara: Yeeee haaaaaw! Damn this mule is a mighty fine ride! I can't wait to jump another gulley!
Mal: I love you, Inara.
Inara: I love you, Mal.
Joss: And they lived happily ever after. The End.
Now that's comedy!
BWAH!
TCM
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Kaylee: "Dammit, Mal!"
Inara: "Sod off!"
Simon: "I hate my sister, but i love it when she goes crazy"
Jayne: "Now, you see here, when the tangent of Pi is multiplied by x to the power of 10..."
Zoe: "How's my hair?"
River: "I feel perfectly normal"
Book: "I don't care what you believe. ...seriously, that's it. I don't care."
Wash: "I feel bad for you, Jayne. Want some tea and ice for the bruise?"
Mal: "My God! I was on the wrong side!"
I'm babbling like a moonbrain.
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Let's start the day off subtle, shall we? :)
Jayne: "We applied the cortical electrodes, but were unable to get a neural response from either patient."
(no, seriously, come time to say it, Jayne actually got it wrong again, and said: "were unable to get a neural REACTION". Y'all probably knew that, but I only noticed it the third time around, and thought it was hilarious, lol).
Saffron: They played me, from minute one.
Zoe: That's quite a brain you have there, Sir.
River: Eta kuram nah smekh!
And, after that,
River: [anything at all]
Reaver: I want to resolve this like civilized men.
Me: I couldn't care less about River. :)
P.S. Sorry for the last one.
--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam
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I'm in a super silly mood this morning (don' make em good jokes, per se).
The Fruity Oaty Bar: Don't bother.
Mr. Universe: What, there's a signal?
Chicken: Yeah, right. (subtle)
--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam
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Quote:
Originally posted by dtt:
Mal: "Well, that's just uncouth."
Actually, Mal probably would say something like that. But not in any sort of refined manner.
Quote:
Originally posted by Delia:
Mal: This is a glorious day for all pround members of the Allied Planets. Unification Day! Drinks are on me!
That too. No matter how sarcastic he'd be, he'd still be saying it.
And now for a few of my own:
Mal: Aha! I'm not a Browncoat at all! I'm an Alliance Spy!
Zoe: A-ha! I knew it all along! I'm an Independent spy sent to spy on you, Mal!
Wash: Aha A-ha! I never loved you, Zoe, for I am actually an Alliance spy sent to make sure that Mal hasn't switched sides!
Simon: And I'm not really River's brother! I'm her sister!
River: And I'm Simon's brother! And I'm perfectly sane!
Simon: Also we're both Browncoat spies.
Jayne: I'm also a spy for a seperate party that no one else is aware of! I was sent to make sure that you never found out about our ancient race of spy-der people, who are all spies!
Kaylee: Inara and I are lesbian lovers!
Mal: Well, yeah. That was pretty obvious!
Inara: We're also spies!
Wash: We kinda figured.
*Everyone looks at Book*
Book: No, actually, I don't have any mysterious, incriminating history whatsoever. I just read a bunch of spy novels as a kid.
The show is then relaunched on Comedy Central as a wacky sitcom called "Spyrenity". It goes down as one of the most insane and pointless plot twists in history.
:P
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Kaylee: *hits the engine with her wrench* Stupid *hit* ship. *hit* Never *hit* works *hit* right! *hit* *screams and shoots it*
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19 conversions and counting!!!
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JAYNE: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...
My name is Gabriel Tam! You turned my daughter into a psychotic psychic assassin! Prepare to die!
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