The Buffy Paradigm
POSTED BY: Zicsoft
UPDATED: Thursday, February 6, 2003 13:21
VIEWED: 5499
PAGE 1 of 2
OK, we're all just having fun here. Nothing wrong with that. But it turns out that our favorite TV show has National Security and Homeland Defense implications! If we want to be safe from bioterror attacts, we need to buckle down and learn to deal with ....
THE BUFFY PARADIGM
http://www.csis.org/burke/hd/reports/Buffy012902.pdf
No, this is not some flake with his own web site. This is a reputable national security expert:
http://www.csis.org/html/4cordesm.htm
Scary. Not as scary as bioterrorism, or even as scary as some of the better Buffy episodes. But still pretty scary.
(
A Kiss is Just a Kiss
)
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Oh dear gourd.
I'm not sure if I should be really, really scared...
or really really relieved...
hmmm...
Pandora
"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me." -Ralph Wiggum
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Now that I think about it, this sort of thing isn't that weird. It just means Mister Whedon has done a good job of capturing the old Zeitgeist. But you have to smile when you think of some deadly-serious National Security pundit using Buffy for his thought experiments!
On a totally unrelated topic: Pandora, I'm dying of curiousity. If it isn't too personal: What's the story behind this "She stole my heart and my cat" tag?
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Quote:
Originally posted by Zicsoft:
On a totally unrelated topic: Pandora, I'm dying of curiousity. If it isn't too personal: What's the story behind this "She stole my heart and my cat" tag?
Ziccy: Never fear! "She stole my heart and my cat" is a quote from the exceedingly funny and undeservedly obscure Mike Myers comedy/mystery romp, So I Married an Axe Murderer. A truly hilarious movie, despite its misleading title, it has some of the most quotable moments of any movie I've seen. The quote I use as my tag is from the following poem, read by Myers in a slightly pretentious cafe, accompanied by bongos in the beat style:
(forgive errors, this is from memory)
"Woman.
Whoa, man-
Woooooe, man!
She was a thief,
You've got to believe-
She stole my heart and my cat!
Betty!
Wilma!
Josie and those hot pussycats!
They make my horny,
Saturday morny,
Girls in cartoo-ins
Will leave me in ruins,
I want to be Betty's Barney.
Jane, get me off this crazy thing-
called love..."
"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies
and the baby looked at me." -Ralph Wiggum
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That report was disturbing! I'll admit that I stopped reading and only skimmed the last 30 pages or so... But it's nice to know that Buffy is so well received. :D
As for So I Married an Axe Murderer... I have to agree with Pandy.... a fabulous movie. Well worth quoting. So, to share in the joy, here's another Mike Myers beat poem/song called "This Poem Sucks":
Harriet.
Harri-et.
Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis.
Beautiful, bemused, bellicose butcher.
Un-trust-ing. Un-know-ing. Un-love... ed?
"He wants you back," he screamed into the night
Like a fireman going to a window that has no fire...
Except the passion of his heart.
I am lonely.
It's really hard.
This poem... sucks?
That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!
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I regret to inform you that I hated SIMAAM. Too busy hating it to memorize all the cute lines. I did smile at, "Hello! I ordered a large coffee!"
Too bad. I had visions of Pandora in some heart-rending Sapphic Soap Opera. Like "Kissing Jessica Stein", only with a cat.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Zicsoft:
I regret to inform you that I hated SIMAAM. Too busy hating it to memorize all the cute lines.
It's ok, Zic... not everyone is perfect.
Quote:
Originally posted by Zicsoft:
Too bad. I had visions of Pandora in some heart-rending Sapphic Soap Opera. Like "Kissing Jessica Stein", only with a cat.
I have this vision too, and it makes me all warm and tingly.
for Pandy. She's my hero today.Do I have to fight to keep you? 'Cause I'm not large with the butch.
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Quote:
Originally posted by bobknaptor:Quote:
Originally posted by Zicsoft:
I regret to inform you that I hated SIMAAM. Too busy hating it to memorize all the cute lines.
It's ok, Zic... not everyone is perfect.Quote:
Originally posted by Zicsoft:
Too bad. I had visions of Pandora in some heart-rending Sapphic Soap Opera. Like "Kissing Jessica Stein", only with a cat.
I have this vision too, and it makes me all warm and tingly.for Pandy. She's my hero today.
Do I have to fight to keep you? 'Cause I'm not large with the butch.
Ziccy: I agree with bob's assessment- your transgression is forgiven. But if you don't like Wayne's World, and/or Austin Powers, we're through!
As for Sapphic Soap Operas, I'm glad to say that my Sapphism is blessedly non soap operatic, and completely sans felines. It's more like dark and farcical romantic comedy...

As for you, Ms. Knaptor... you flirt! You're making me blush!
!You guys are lovely.

Pandora
"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies
and the baby looked at me." -Ralph Wiggum
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pandora:
As for you, Ms. Knaptor... you flirt! You're making me blush!!
Ok, Ok, I'll be good. But it's hard to keep myself in check with one as fabulous as yourself around.

______________
I'd still ... if you'd still...
I'd still. I'd very still.
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Quote:Guess we're through then.
Originally posted by Pandora:
Ziccy: I agree with bob's assessment- your transgression is forgiven. But if you don't like Wayne's World, and/or Austin Powers, we're through!
Another romantic opportunity lost! 
Quote:What, you don't like cats?!
As for Sapphic Soap Operas, I'm glad to say that my Sapphism is blessedly non soap operatic, and completely sans felines. It's more like dark and farcical romantic comedy...

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