The S.S. SereniTree's Homecoming
POSTED BY: thatweirdgirl
UPDATED: Wednesday, June 1, 2005 23:44
VIEWED: 28621
PAGE 5 of 22
Mai-that mop is pure genius!
As to produce-what am I NOT growing?
TheRealMe-when you figure out what planet I hitchhiked from, will you let me know (so I can get my story straight?) 
*Serenity returns to the greenhouse after showering and changing her juice stained clothes to find the door barred*
(reading) "Closed by the order of the department of Acquisitions"??? RAT! Now I can't get in!!! I was going to get some avocadoes to make guacamole for the shindig! Where is he???
*she storms off to find him, and runs into Ath*
ATH! Good to see you! *Gives him a big hug* Very glad you made it back safely. I was quite worried about you! Have you seen Rat? He's locked me out of my own greenhouse!
Cozen-No I do not have scales, and I don't eat people! And if I can ever get back into my greehouse, I'll give you what grapes I have to make wine.
"He looked bigger when I couldn't see him."
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Slight update/clarification. . .
In an earlier thread when the crew's duties and superpowers/skills were outlined, it was mentioned that I was the pilot and very skilled with weapons and hand-to-hand combat. Thought I'd clarify a bit.
Static has latent telepathy, precognition and telekineses. He's not aware of these abilities, but they translate in his ability to do certain things.
His precognitive abilities allow for his uncanny piloting skills. Not only does he know where all obstacles ARE. . .he knows where they WILL BE in the immediate-to-near future. This skill also manifests in his abilities with swords and hand-to-hand combat. He is sub-consciously predicting the moves of his opponent.
To a slightly lesser extent, his precognitive abilities extend to the medium-to-distant future which gives him the appearance of uncanny intuition and amazing luck.
His latent telekinetic abilities make him a dead-on shot with any projectile weapon. His natural skill from years and years of unrelenting practice give him an 'honest' talent. . .but his TK ability allows him to sub-consciously 'will' the bullet, arrow or thrown knife to strike it's target dead on (within reason, of course. Static has to believe beyond doubt that it's pure skill in order for this ability to work. He cannot, for instance, make bullets turn corners. He CAN, however, pull a 'River Tam' manuver in which he glances ever-so-briefly at his targets and then shoots blind.)
**EDITED FOR NAUGHTINESS**
His latent telepathic skills also allow for him to be a complete BEAST in the sack, as he is able to sub-consciously sense the needs of his partner and respond instinctively.
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Quote:
Originally posted by mai:
*Flicks switch on mop handle, which beeps several times, turns in small circles (deliberately and with vicious intent smacking Cozen upside the head with the moppy part)....*
*Molly takes flight with a frightful “squaeeark!” as the automop slaps cozen aside his head. The parrot alights upon Mai’s shoulder and joins in with the glaring.*
*Absently wiping fruity goo and birdy poo from his head, cozen fixes his attention on the automop.*
Oh yeah?
*The automop does not respond as such, but stops cleaning up the mess. It rises to its full height, well balanced on its strings and weaving in slow, menacing arcs. Everything about its demeanor suggests barely controlled aggression.*
“Yeah.”
*cozen finds the balance of his own mop, sets his feet. Working by the principle – so well demonstrated by BDH Reynolds -- of, “He who hesitates, loses”, cozen feints right, then lets loose with a mighty backhand sweep, low toward the evil automop’s power switch.
*Having anticipated cozen’s move, the automop easily skitters out of range. It smoothly carries it’s momentum across the corridor to the opposite wall. In one motion the automop bends back, gaining purchase on the wall and launches itself forward, ducking low beneath a return forehand sweep and tackles cozen at his ankles. cozen falls, hard, dropping his mop, but on the way down gets a good kick in, knocking the evil automop against the greenhouse door, stunning it. Now prone, cozen picks up his mop, and twisting hard for leverage, unleashes a javelin toss (well, actually more like that of a cricket bowler on his arse) that accidentally nails his assailant’s power switch.
*A plaintive “bleep” emits from the automop, as it keels over and shuts down.*
*Coincidentally, the Kaylee-clone wanders by.*
“Hey, coz! Nice shot!”
Hey, Kay! Listen...
“’Nuther security over-ride?”
Yep, got grapes need haulin’.
“No prob.”
***
Now is the time for all good folks to attend to the needs of the party.
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(Dang double-post!)
*jake7 is now trapped in the greenhouse with Cozen, Mai, and CallMeSerenity*
Hey, all I did was eat three tomatoes! I was STARVING. I was nice to not to try to steal everything like Cozen did!!
Well, since Rat locked us in here, I guess we'll have to tend to the garden...
*jake7 picks up a garden weasel and aerates some nearby tomatoes and peppers. Meanwhile the mop spins by, whirring contentedly*
--------------
MAL: Everybody's makin' a fuss.
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**OncePR and Serenity have finished serving up, PR goes to the ships com and hits the button.**
Hey everyone, dinner is served so come on up and get it!!
PsychicRiver
"Two by two, hands of blue." 
"We'll take care of each other. I'll knit!"
Summer Glau to me - "You are so photogenic."
Me - 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Static:
Static has latent telepathy, precognition and telekineses....
I KNEW he was going to say that.
Mal-licious
"Let's go be bad guys."
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CallMeSerenity,
While you may not have been a native of the Black Diamond ski resort planet, we almost certainly picked you up there. It was a substantial world, with its own gravity and ecosystem and everything else that a planet would have (with a nice contrast between the volcanoes’ rivers of molten lava and the stark snowscapes that otherwise dominated the scenery).
We had a grand time on Black Diamond, some of us relaxing in the resort’s jaccuzi and others (Rat, Needleseye, Jake7, and TheRealMe) chasing the escaped FemaleReaver, meeting and interacting with the native Yeti and Windmill Giants, and picking up interesting folk like ImEarly, CallMeAth, and SoulOfSerenity. Oh, ThatWeirdGirl was key in pacifying the Yeti with her Power of Confusion. Static and TheGreyJedi were key in resolving the FemaleReaver situation. The escape, pursuit, and plot resolution of the FemaleReaver resulted in the injury of Bride2, Bride3, SimonWho, and TheRealMe, and caused the deaths of Bride1 and the FemaleReaver herself.
During the pursuit of the FemaleReaver, the ants of Black Diamond started attacking the Sereni-Tree, motivated by Cozen’s vengeance over the earlier destruction of the pleasure asteroid Rukus (both Rukus and Black Diamond were in the Cozen Star Cluster). The Cozenants were granted entry to the ship by some of the Cozen love-clones that we had rescued from Rukus, then the ants proceeded to over-run the entire ship and ate most of our food. Only the quick thinking of Bride4 (aka Jet) in shutting down the air ducts slowed the Cozenants’ progress and allowed us to keep a toe-hold in the Infirmary. Then, thanks to the discovery by Mai that Knibblet’s Stupendous Sunscreen was fatal to ants, we managed to retake control of the Sereni-Tree. This resulted in one humongous pile of ant corpses.
Our various crises over for the moment, I baked a cake to commemorate our 10-month anniversary, and a corporeal Cozen popped out of it. This was a problem because, until that moment, he was the semi-divine star cluster that had created and was sustaining Black Diamond.
As the planet was breaking up from under us, we managed to rescue a large number of beings, including an army of Yeti, dozens of Windmill Giants (which had to be shrunk, first), and the staff and guests of the Black Diamond hotel.
Undoubtedly, Serenity, you were one of those guests, and were saved when Mai landed the General Grant at the hotel and I opened a dimensional portal to her location. Then you all just walked through that hole in reality and into an apartment in the West Wing of the Sereni-Tree, which I had enlarged enough (with my powers of space-time folding) to hold some seventy or eighty thousand beings. These events occurred in the “Raid on Black Diamond” thread, or the ones previous or subsequent to that.
Since that time we have been in the process of returning to Earth-that-still-is, to the very Tree which was our origin point, back when the Sereni-Tree was merely a treehouse. At some point we have to get rid of these Yeti and other creatures, but for now we are stuck with them, and they are quickly eating us out of Spam.
* TheRealMe takes a deep breath. *
Oh, about Rukus?
The only other place we visited in our space wanderings (before Black Diamond) was Rukus, a rather small asteroid with a habitable environment that was artificially maintained by machines. That, of course, was until Rat turned off those machines and Rukus literally fell apart. Aside from perhaps a dozen or so clones of our BDHs created for companion-like purposes, the only inhabitants of Rukus seemed to have been an irritating parrot named Black Jack Silver (acting as a mouthpiece for Cozen, who was still a star cluster at the time) and Needleseye (who is an aquatic carnivorous faerie-like creature, of inhuman grace and beauty, who can shapeshift and generates flowers spontaneously depending on her mood).
* TheRealMe takes another deep breath. *
What else would you like to know?
Oh, Rat! Am I
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Quote:
Originally posted by TheRealMe:
What do the Rules of Acquisition say about cheating your customers?
I believe they say something like, 'Do it often and don't get caught.'
Oh! I reserve the right to not answer any questions relating to Static's 'gifts'.
…back to the story….
So everyone’s on board now? Good. Let’s get this ship landed! I could really go for a draw at Zoid’s bar.
Is the guac ready? Heck, if not, I'll just take an avocado to go. Those are yummy, eat them like apples I do.
www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
Can we not revel in our cyber-love?
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We have everybody but Grey... who is still trapped in an alternate dimension.
Say, ThatWeirdGirl, how is TheGreyJedi rescue plan coming where you were going to wrap Faster Than Light space-time around a singularity with the Ether drive?
You know, the plan you were working out with Jet and Needleseye?
The one with the SCONES?
The risky one?
I mean, do we still want to give that a try? Or did you do it already and I didn't notice?
* TheRealMe doubts this last, since the Sereni-Tree is still in one piece and nobody has died recently. *
The Real Me, First Officer of the Sereni-Tree
(The Real Me cannot currently receive messages from this site; he is not ignoring you. But he CAN receive e-mail at realme@pcibroadband.net.)
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I gave up on it. See, Static seemed to think that he had prearranged coordinates to pick up TGJ….so I assumed (I know, one should never assume) that meant he was coming back on his own.
*twg checks her watch*
It has been a while. Okay. If TGJ doesn’t make it back by morning, I’ll push the red button. It will open a hole to the other dimension and allow one person to pull TGJ back into ours. Any volunteers?
www.thatweirdgirl.com
---
Can we not revel in our cyber-love?
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