Are Americans a Broken People?

Oh I have my issues, I am not unaware of them - my first reaction to anything that even LOOKS like some attempt to impose unwanted "authority" or manipulation on me draws a reflexive backlash, and I do have to fight through a lot of mental static when dealing with multiple issues coming at different angles - as I recall Signym called me up short on that, accurately and with cause, during that huge FLDS brouha.

But the thing is, years of discipline and KNOWING how the powers in this world bait and play off knee jerk reactions gives me an edge to that, as I developed the counter-reflex to choke down the knee-jerk and examine it, at which point I see the blatant manipulation and start taking it to pieces in retaliation - which means whenever one of those subconscious "issues" rears it's head up it gets choked down by the same counter-reflex, which is a damned good thing cause my preferred and instinctive reaction to those triggers is appallingly violent...
And I have indeed been known to let the leash slip on purpose when in direct confrontation with folk involved in abusive treatment of children, not for any particular notion of justice or retribution, but that my hatred of them runs so deep that I take particular sadistic enjoyment in dishing out pain unto them - and that frightens me a little, to know that a mirror image of the same beast loose in their head is loose in mine, and that they recieve the same satisfaction in abusing their victims, as I do pounding on THEM.
Which of course, drives me into a berserk frenzy if I don't keep a real tight leash on it, and is a large part of the reason I passed the torch to Justin when a lighter touch became the more effective approach.

Quote:

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I've been privvy numerous times to watching people fight past their abuse and regain their ability to be themselves, and it's always left me in awe.

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I've gotten to see it as well, with similar reaction, all the more so because of just how badly broken most of these folk were when I first saw them, I have far more experience than I have ever wanted dealing with malnutrition, catatonia, pyschic shock muteness, and other problems our psych "experts" tend to handle with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer and all too predictable results - "make fixed NOW" is not an option for these kids, no matter how much folks wish it were so, and trying results in iatrogenic reactions where involving clinical personnel will cause it to get WORSE, like poking at a painful wound.


If there's any issue that really clings though, it's not ever really having a childhood, since I was forced by necessity into the role of an adult while still in single digit age, and for well over a decade not given a single bloody ounce of acknowledgement or respect whatever simply because I was short of the "magic number", despite carrying out adult responsibilities, witnessing and coping with the death of my mother, the avarice and exploitation by various relatives, and finally forcing a legal emancipation while technically a wanted fugitive.

And it wasn't till a year AFTER that, that society even considered me anything but someone elses property, a sub-human unperson, just because I was under eighteen.

That ain't NEVER gonna go away, but even that turns to advantage when I understand their plight well enough to relate so effectively.

Was doin some research earlier and came across a quote that fits this discussion so well it must be shared.

“As long as the child will be trained not by love, but by fear, so long will humanity live not by justice, but by force. As long as the child will be ruled by the educator’s threat and by the father’s rod, so long will mankind be dominated by the policeman’s club, by fear of jail, and by panic of invasion by armies and navies.”
Boris Sidis, from “A lecture on the abuse of the fear instinct in early education” in Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 1919.

That's what it all boils down to, really, shocking that at least SOME people knew, even then, even long BEFORE then (I have a couple clips from as far bac

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Great quote: I would say many things have been "known" much earlier in history; knowing and doing are two different things for humans, however!

Okay, I agree, you have issues. However, being able to SEE them is half the battle--admittedly the other half is much tougher, but you make the effort to recognize AND get past them; those are biggies. And you communicate rationally, which is another biggie.

The beast is within us all...we have a saying among the bipolar: "ALL feelings are valid; it's what you do with them that counts". There I think you come out ahead of many, many people!

And there's another thing to remember. How much we've internalized subconsciously and which runs our lives makes functioning within our social sphere more or less difficult. Within what I see here as your social sphere, you function just fine, thank you. What we do to our out-and-out enemies is one thing; how we deal with those we want to surround ourselves with is kind of the real issue. Am I making any sense? It's hard to put into words.

Like the difference between a guy who is an asshole in the office, abuses his underlings, beats his wife, goes through multiple divorces, etc.; he doesn't function well in society. Someone self-aware makes the effort to respect those around him and doesn't indulge in abuse; ergo, they feel better about themselves and have a higher quality of life. Maybe I'm still not getting it right, but hopefully you understand what I'm trying to say.

What I saw cannot compare to what you observed, of that I have NO doubts! What I saw was wonderful enough, but it was only adults who'd been lead to believe they weren't "worthy" who began to recognize their own worth and stand up for themselves. Like women who'd been in abusive relationships, with kids and no job, who thought they deserved the abuse and there was no way out.

Merely by being in a group of other bipolars, or even on a website, where we could meet them as the person they really ARE, without any history baggage, and respect them and care about them, I watched them get stronger and took much glee in seeing some of them stand up, get divorced, go back to school or get a job, raise their kids, and discover just what they were capable of. AND see their abusers for what they really were. It was like watching miracles, and it took so LITTLE!

"Strange little species, we are", as I often say. We can do so MUCH damage, we can be so awfully miserable, but given half a chance, we're so resilient...it's horrible and wonderful at the same time. I'll bet you feel the same...

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