Disclaimer: Firefly and all related aspects belong to Joss Whedon.

First part in a series. Coauthored with Yanlei.

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Jayne woke up with a grin plastered to his face.

It was April Fool’s day and Jayne had set the alarm on the timepiece at the foot of his bed to go off before any of the rest of the crew would awaken. He had plans, oh, did he ever. Swinging his feet out of bed, Jayne got to work. There was a lot that he had to do and he had to do it quick. He had to do it before Mal woke up.

Moving around his bunk, Jayne gathered all of his oldest, grubbiest clothing, some industrial strength glue, a few daggers and a number of other little things. When he was through with everything, he hoped that it would work like he’d planned it to. He hoped he could make himself into a convincing reaver.

As Jayne stripped off what little clothing he slept in, he looked at the guns that were lined up on hooks on the wall by his bed. He wouldn’t be carrying any of them. No sir, reavers didn’t use guns and if he wanted to make himself look good, he couldn’t have them either. At least he could still carry a few knives.

Jayne worked quickly, slipping into his tattered old clothes. He regarded himself in the mirror and wrinkled his nose. He didn’t quite look savage enough just yet. Picking up one of the daggers laying on his bed, Jayne plucked at some of the fabric of the shirt and trousers he wore, putting more slashes in it, making it look well and truly torn.

Once he’d put enough tears in the clothing he wore, Jayne got to work on some other things. Pulling up a chair in front of the mirror on the shelf by his bed, Jayne picked up a few pieces of the scrap metal he’d collected when Kaylee got through with them. He wondered where he should stick them on for maximum frightening effect.

Deciding on a few places, Jayne picked up the super glue he’d set down on the bedside cabinet and began to glue the pieces to his skin. He made