Two things in the ‘verse make Jayne shiver

One is a cross look from River

But he really does shake

When Book starts to make

His dinner of beans and fried liver

The Captain’s tight pants are a joy

To anyone who’d like a boy

Be you woman or sly

Let his ass catch your eye

And you’ll surely wish he were your toy

Please pity our poor Doctor Tam

He’s living his life on the lam

Every blue-hand and Fed

Is hunting his head

And also, says Kaylee, “I am.”

Inara’s a beauty, no doubt

Mal wonders, “So why does she pout?”

The reason is plain

If we could we’d explain

“She loves you, you dummy!” we’d shout

Our pilot rules over ‘This Land’

Topples dinos with waves of his hand

But his mastery’s dead

When he goes home to bed

With the one who wears his wedding band

It’s a good thing that River’s so kind

Since she can kill you with her mind

But she’s really a brat

Her ankles are fat

And…Ack...I’m…choking…Gurrk