Blue Sun Room FICTION - ROMANCE

Redemption

Thursday, February 23, 2006

My first fic like this, its NC17. Hope you like it, ya'll. Takes place a day after the MESSAGE, and so it has spoilers. Simon says sorry to Kaylee. Completely discounts the BDM, don't read if it ain't you're style.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3149    RATING: 8.0 (NC17)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Kaylee was crying. It wasn't very loud crying, or very many tears. But it was there.

She cried for Tracey, for his parents. But she had cried for them, many times before this. It was more for herself that she cried. She cried about Simon.

She knew that she loved him, nothing could be clearer to her. But that gorram doctor just wouldn't take a hint. Wouldn't even bother to look at her.

No, that weren't right. Lor' knows, he had tried to, many times. Problem was, he just was to damn shy for his own good. Too proper.

She sighed, and went back to working on Serenity. Her engine had been preety banged up, thanks to all the missles and bombs that those feds dropped near her.

A familiar cough and three knocks sounded off behind her. She didn't turn around, but said, "come in."

Simon entered softly, and stood next to Kaylee. "Hi."

"Hey." She crouched next to the engine, pretending to fiddle with some part. In reality, she was wiping her eyes.

"Listen, Kaylee, I just wanted to apoligive."

"'bout what, doc?" Simon winced. She was never so formal with him, unless she was really, really annoyed at him.

"Well, about before. You know...betsy."

Despite herself, Kaylee laughed. "Yah, you really did mess up there."

"Yeah, I did. Problem is, I didn't get to say what I wanted to. I would have earlier, but...y'know."

Kaylee nodded sadly. Tracey. "So, Simon, what did you wanna say?"

"Well...for one, you have the most beautiful eyes that I've ever seen."

"Hmmm...an' what else?"

"Well...that, well...you're the reason that I'm on the ship." He'd sort of blurted that out. Wanted to wait on that for later on.

"I'm...wha'?"

"Well, on Persephone, you were just sitting there, all nice and smiling, and you had that little parasol, too."

"My sun umbrella?"

"Yeah, that," he said. He was rushing along now, trying to get it all out before he messed up again. "And, you smiled at me, and it was like...it was like...wel

Comments
Thursday, 23 February 2006 23:05
Please comment, tell me what ya think. PLEASE!!!

Shiny!
ANONYMOUS
Thursday, 23 February 2006 23:16
"Shes fine. Simons comforting her about Tracey."

"'As good. Girl needs comfortin' after all this."


THAT got me giggling!!! Oh Mal, if you only knew....
Thursday, 23 February 2006 23:36
It was a very good story, very adorable, good characterization.

On the other hand, I think you should definitely look for a beta reader to go through your stories before you post them. I noticed a number of spelling, grammatical and contextual errors that were a mite distracting. If you need a beta reader, please feel free to email me and I'll be glad to help.

Your writing is great and I would definitely like to see more!
Friday, 24 February 2006 00:28
Meh it was all right.

the diologue felt all wrong though in the beggining. Simon was way too forward than he ever would be.

Book is prodestant. BTW

It was still cute. Next time just try to get into the characters more.
LITHAIRIAN
Friday, 24 February 2006 02:10
OMG

that is funny, sexy and everything in between!

Lith ;)
Friday, 24 February 2006 03:07
Sweet!
I LOVED Book finding them in the engine room! So perfect!
Tuesday, 28 February 2006 11:53
Shiny
Saturday, 11 November 2006 12:45
That's how it should have ended!
Monday, 16 April 2007 15:57
That's how I would have ended it. Great job.

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