The Fish Job: Chapter 1
Friday, January 13, 2006
The crew finds a new job and Mal finds new trouble
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 9349 RATING: 9.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
Disclaimers and such:
It all belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the rest. Distribute freely, etc.
Please leave feedback, and be honest, I can take it! I’ve never written fanfiction, or any fiction, before, but I’ve started with an ambitious storyline, I really want to know how it works!
Many thanks to Guenever, BlueEyedBrigadier, and vera2529 for doing beta on this monster. The good news: it’s just about fully written, so I’ll try to post the new chapters (there will be 19 or 20 total) as soon as the beta and fixes are done. Oh – and I hope I get all the formatting right, bear with me if I need to edit a few times…
It begins just after Objects in Space. As things go on, there’ll be some violence, a little sex, and a fair amount of dark juicy angst. And lots and lots of Mal.
I hope you enjoy, I loved writing it! It’s an excellent way to spend more time in the ‘verse than 14 episodes and a movie will allow.
Sept 2006: Chapters are being updated so you can scroll your mouse over the Chinese to get the translation.
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“Gorram, look at that!” Jayne stared open mouthed as a burly man in a bright red vinyl apron swung a giant silver fish over a counter. “Can I get one Mal?” The fish flew through the air, missing Jayne by inches, to be caught by another aproned worker and slapped onto a cutting board. A knife flashed and the fish fell into neat fillets.
“Vera might get jealous about you bringin’ home another pet.”
“Niú shĭ, you eat ‘em, you don’t keep ‘em as pets!” Jayne thought about it. “Or could ya?”
“Not on my boat. Your bunk smells bad enough already.” Mal scanned the aisle ahead, trying to see through the tightly packed mass of shoppers. The walkway was lined with ice-filled display cases packed with every kind of sea critter one could imagine.
“Let’s get one to eat then.” Jayne pushed through a mob of arguing women to keep up with Mal.
“For the cost of that one fish we could buy enough protein to feed the crew
Hope to see the rest of this very soon!
Nice characterizations too!
I'll definitely read the rest!
Very amusing, engaging intro with Mal and Jayne, spot-on snapshots of the crew and a lovely, bitter-sweet look at Inara. Not one slip in the character voices. Down right perfect.
Best of all: how seamlessly you took the mood of "Objects in Space" and spun it further. New Melbourne, the tension in Inara's need to leave, Mal's struggle between civil and bitter and Kaylee's adorable friendship with River.
Plus impending plot!
What more could anyone ask?? *g*
When's the next part up??
I can see this is gonna be as addictive as watching the show - I post and then get all these emails of people leaving comments. weee!
Chapter 2 is ready, but I'm gonna make y'all wait till Sunday or Monday cause I'm evil.
Actually, it's because I don't want to overwork my awesome beta people, I gotta give them time to stay ahead.
But I'm still evil. bwa-ha-ha-ha!!
Yes, very. Very.
Don't you know it's immorral to make people wish the weekend would go by more quickly? ;)
Okay, fine. Beta kindness... *sigh*
Patience. Virtue. And all that.
You can't take the sky from me
Much love!
Rinny
much as other folks said "it's like reading an episode"
thanks..it was like being taken back to that 'Verse again.
can't wait for thenext installment.
that is so jane, it cracked me up cause i could just picture him saying that
And to all who have read this....you ain't seen nothing yet!
Jayne asking about the fish and comparing them to space aliens was great.
Mal interrupting the Zoe/Wash sex was pretty good too.
Also, being a huge River fan, I liked the scene in which she and Kaylee were trying on the makeup.
I like your writing style, your characterizations are pretty good, and I am anxious to see where the plot is going, so I will definitely be reading the rest of this series and your other one as well. :)
I love the description "shabby kitchen area full of crates and questionable odors" near the start. Good alliteration and great sensory details!
I know this has been up for awhile but...you want to change "well-healed" to "well-heeled." It's a minor point,I know, but I hate it when I miss stuff like that in my work!
“Oh, the hardships we intrepid explorers face.” “You don’t wanna get a fish, just say so. No need to be callin’ me names.” -- I like the dialog between Mal and Jayne in the fish market. It's effective in several different ways: showing (without having to describe) the working dynamic between Mal and Jayne; up-front evidence that you've got a good handle on the characters; and humor! I like how you take a turn through all of the characters to establish their voices in your fic; that was well-done, it didn't seem like a contrived tour, rather it flowed plot-wise, and with the aid of hindsight I see lots of foreshadowing. I'm noticing Ricky's talk about Blue Sun not liking to have his competition; Mal's line “Sure. And it takes years of schoolin’ to learn to show all this fine carin’.”; and "The Alliance was all about making money for the corporations who kicked it on to the politicians." All foundation statements. Mal's impulsive action at the end kicks the plot into gear.
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