A/N: Ya know, I really think Simon and Jayne would make a great buddy cop movie, like "Tango and Cash" or "Lethal Weapon." They just have to get over that "I hate you with a fiery passion" thing.

Suggestions on where to go with this? I have a basic idea, but the well is feeling a bit dry at the moment.

*****

"Then send Jayne and Simon both, Kaylee. I don't really care." Mal was tired of arguing the point.

He'd finally agreed to this gorram "Thanksgiving" thing. Apparently, it was a holiday commemorating the leaving of Earth-that-was and finding a new planetary system. So far as Mal could tell, it was really an excuse for his crew to eat a lot and shirk their jobs. At least it was almost over - or would be, if the ruttin' Doc would stop complaining and just go to the damn store. But Kaylee, always protective of her Simon, wouldn't let the boy off the boat without someone watching his back. Zoe, Mal, and River were scheduled for a pick up later that afternoon. Inara was tending to some Guild business, and Kaylee was busily destroying the kitchen. That left Simon and Jayne for the shopping, and sending Jayne by himself would result in the merc stumbling back with no money, no food, and reeking of booze.

"May I remind you what happened the last time Jayne and I went somewhere, Captain?" Simon was reffering to what was now known as the "Teddy Bear Affair", a sordid tale which mainly involved Jayne running around without his pants.

"You ain't helpin' none, doctor."

"Do I ever?" Simon gave his captain a smug grin.

"Come to think of it, no." Mal pursed his lips. "Why do I pay you again?"

"Because I'm the only one willing to pull a bullet out of Jayne." He shrugged. "I took an oath." Simon considered the list in his hands and glanced at the coins on the table in front of him. "Butter, turkey, eggs...is synthetic good enough?"

Kaylee thought a moment before answering. "If ya can't find real, yeah, but real is better. Makes it all flaky." She was up to her elbows in flour