Blue Sun Room FICTION - ROMANCE

Impression

Thursday, December 1, 2005

Jaylee fluff. First impressions.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3462    RATING: 9.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Just a little piece of Jaylee fluff that was floatin’ ‘round my brainpan… Or Jaylee lint that was floatin’ ‘round by bellybutton… You decide.

IMPRESSION

By Canton Heroine

They didn’t meet straight off.

Kaylee’d stepped down into the cargo bay, just in time to see his back end goin’ out t’wards the kitchen. All she could tell from the glimpse she got was that he weren’t average-sized none.

“Man’s hungry,” the Captain commented, nodding at the doorway. “Ain’t been eaten fit servin’s for a month or more.” There was a pause before he added dryly, “Don’t seem none the worse for it though. Still the biggest, meanest gorram tracker I ever saw.”

Kaylee didn’t much like the sound of that. Big an’ mean weren’t her cup of tea. She knew there had to be a grain o’ truth on account that Mal didn’t lie to her, and that he’d specifically been on the lookout for some extra muscle since him and Zoe almost got nabbed a while back, but she weren’t one to make assumptions ‘bout how someone ought to be took on first appearance. She reckoned to follow said tracker to see for herself.

He whipped ‘round from starin’ all lost-like at the table when she come in, and she gasped like she’d had her breath knocked clean out.

Sweet Buddha, but he was swai. Taller’n her pa and built real solid. Her old gramma would’ve called him ‘strapping’.

Thick muscles rippled and rolled along his tanned arms, stretched out the material of his tight blue t-shirt like they had a life of their own. Her eyes shifted from the breadth of that undulatin’ landscape down long, powerful legs, takin’ in with awe how the gunstrap ‘round his thigh was stretched taut with the strain of holdin’ on.

He cleared his throat and her wide eyes shot to his face. That’s when her respiratory system plain shut down altogether. Weren’t fair on a body, him bein’ so unexpected fine.

“Hi,” she squeaked.

“Hey.” They stared at each other for a full five seconds ‘fore he broke contact and scratched at his scruffy dark head. “Uh… Where ya hidin’ the grub?

Comments
Thursday, 01 December 2005 11:45
First fic in the 'Verse, guys. Be gentle.
Thursday, 01 December 2005 12:51
Ya done good. I liked it.

Kaylee seems right in character. I'm not sure Jayne would jump in so quick to help, but then maybe he was trying to impress her or lookin for an excuse to touch her, so it works. And it's perfect that the first place he heads is to check out that free run of the kitchen Mal'd promised. The comment that Mal makes about him not getting enought to eat is a nice touch too.

Good Job!
Thursday, 01 December 2005 13:01
I second that.

Ya done good, ya done real good.

By 'first' do you mean to insinuate there'll be more, 'cause I definitely want more.
Thursday, 01 December 2005 13:02
Good first story. I particularly like this line "He surrounded her like a protective wrapper"
Thursday, 01 December 2005 15:56
There are so many wonderful touches to this. Jayne going straight for the kitchen. Mal's voice was perfect. Kaylee's reaction to him being so wonderfully BIG. Jayne's gun-metal eyes (that REALLY stuck out at me for some reason).

I've LOVE more. Especially to see how they go from mutual attraction to 'just friends' by the pilot!
CUB
Thursday, 01 December 2005 21:16
Neat! You're a good writer, so don't be afraid of writing more fic.

I admire the way you use a Jayne voice to tell the story. I'm not sure I could maintain that for a whole fic. That's definitely a strength.
Thursday, 01 December 2005 21:17
More.
Do not end here. We must have more.


Oh, yah, almost forgot.

Please?
ANONYMOUS
Thursday, 01 December 2005 23:38
For a first fanfic, this is impressive. Especially since I'm usually not a Jayne/Kaylee shipper- and here you go converting me. Kaylee definitely seemed in character and Jayne was mostly there. Good job.
Friday, 02 December 2005 02:13
Awww!!!! You guys!!! *blushes*
You're the best...

However, perhaps I should have been more specific. This isn't my first fan fiction EVER, just my first in THIS 'VERSE. It took me a while to find the right voice, and then this fell out yesterday afternoon at work.

My other stuff (BtVS, if anyone's interested) is over on fanfiction.net under the name Dee Bradfield.
Friday, 02 December 2005 21:35
i like your bellybutton fluff!!!

b
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 09 December 2005 02:16
Good job! A agree with the folk above...Jayne was perhaps a bit eager to help...but reasons can be found for that ;)

A fine piece of writing, and nice to see someone write a description of Jayne that is like spoken from my own lips. A hunk he is...oh yes.

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