He heard her before he saw her. Felt her even before that.

“Go away.”

He took a drink from his flask as a pair of dusty boots appeared next to him.

“I’m sorry.”

He didn’t respond. Kept lookin’ straight ahead.

His throat hurt every time he swallowed. His leg throbbed. He’d walked out of town. Opposite direction of Dallin’s house. He’d stopped when his leg hurt so bad he couldn’t stand it no more.

He hurt.

It hurt that she’d let them do that to him.

Hurt worse that she’d let him leave.

River’s back. Hair swingin’.

Guess he’d deserved to be hurt.

“Where are you going?”

She dropped down next to him, tucking her arms under her knees.

He took another drink.

“I ain’t goin’ nowhere. Ain’t got nowhere to go.” He turned his head to look at her. “But I sure as hell ain’t getting’ back on that boat.”

Jayne stood. Tried not to wince. Tried not to limp as he walked away. Couldn’t sit still next to her.

He could hear River trottin’ after him.

“Can’t jump ship now. Yo ho, yo ho.”

Jayne shot her a look over his shoulder.

She shrugged.

Jayne grunted.

“Well I ain’t gonna stay where I ain’t welcome.”

“It’s all pretend. They were scared. They have nothing to do, so they worry. Worry worry. All of them.”

Jayne took another drink.

“They worry about me. They worry about you. They worry so they won’t have to worry.”

Jayne turned on his heel, facing her. “But there ain’t nothin’ to gorram worry about!” He looked at her and she looked back. She didn’t have to say nothin’. He turned away again. Picked up his speed best he could so she would let him alone.

She kept up with him. But she didn’t say more.

Didn’t matter. Nothin’ she coulda said would convince him to get back on that boat. He wasn’t going back. He was fed up with Mal. Fed up with his pickin’ and bossin’ and accusin’. Fed up with always gettin’ blamed and always bein’ watched. Fed up with bein’ mean and stupid and not more th’n muscle.

His throat ached.

“You are m