Disclaimer: This story is in no way meant to infringe on the rights of Joss Whedon, Universal Studios, Mutant Enemy, or 20th Century Fox. Just wanted to have a bit of fun with these characters is all. Please don’t sue me.

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Rated PG-13 for violence and more than a few Chinese cuss words.

“Point of No Return, Part VII”

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Wash scratched his head and looked at his wife, registering her furrowed brow. She was as stumped as he was. Mal was no help, having long given up trying to crack the encryption code to Jubal Early’s database. Downloading it from his ship was the easy part; but they’d had the information for four weeks now without being able to even open the files. Mal was sure that they could use the data it contained to find more work.

Not that they were struggling at the moment. They’d been paid extra for the Jasper job, in light of their heroic defense of the mine from the raiders. They’d spent a couple of days on Janus relaxing, making repairs, and restocking the galley and the infirmary. On the surface, things were good.

Still, the captain was anxious for a number of reasons, not the least of which involved a certain young ex-Reaver. The loss of Inara also hit the crew hard, but Mal believed busy hands were the best cure for busy minds. Giving them something to do would help them adjust. And that went double for himself.

“I’ve tried every algorithm I know, Mal,” the pilot surrendered. “This gou cao de hundan hasn’t so much as blinked.”

The captain scowled. “Shepherd’s got a criminal mind,” Zoe offered. “Maybe he got —”

“Don’t need his help,” a voice said from the doorway. Mal spun around. River.

“Cao gou, girl,” Mal said. “Like to get hurt that way, sneakin’ up on folk like that. What are you doing on the bridge, anyway?”

“Let me do it,” River said, not waiting for Mal’s permission, but moving straight for the control panel. She leaned ov