Disclaimer: This story is in no way meant to infringe on the rights of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, or 20th Century Fox. Just wanted to have a bit of fun with these characters is all. Please don’t sue me.

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Rated PG for creepy imagery and a couple of Chinese cuss words.

“Point of No Return, Part VI”

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Zoe was on her way to the galley when she heard the heavy crash coming from the direction of the cargo bay. She moved double-time toward the sound, one hand on the knife she kept sheathed at the side of her leg at all times, even on the ship, ready for anything at a moment’s notice. But when she emerged at the top of the bay area and looked out at the scene below, she couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

Doc Simon was running circles – no, more like hobbling, given his hurt leg – around the cargo bay, waving a shirt in one hand and a pair of pants in the other, stringing together the most obscene Chinglish she’d ever heard come out of his mouth. The Reaver was leading him on a chase around the room, knocking over empty bins and hiding behind crates. He was stark naked, and apparently not in any hurry to have Simon dress him.

“You need some help doc?” Zoe called from above, stirring the pot. “Want me to call the preacher? Or maybe Jayne?”

“No, thank you, I have it under control,” Simon sounded more than a little irritated. “Come here, you little too zai zi,” he coaxed. Kai stopped and glared at him, crouched like a cornered dog behind a small box. “That’s it, be a good boy. Clothes, see? That’s all. Be good…”

“Ben xi niu he hou,” Kai hissed suddenly before leaping away towards the common area. Simon hopped after him, his leg starting to throb a little. He heard Zoe’s laughter bounce off the walls behind him. “I fail to see the humor,” Simon muttered.

Kai pawed at the bulkhead, finding himself cornered. He turned and regarded Simon desperately, and the doctor