Honest Run: Detachment
Wednesday, February 2, 2005
What did Simon decide?
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 3365 RATING: 9.0 (G) SERIES: FIREFLY
Previous chapters include:
“Doc?” Mal asked him, “You’re drifting off again…”
“I was,” Simon looked up regretfully, “Wasn’t I?”
“You alright?” Mal looked over Simon critically, “You seem a bit… off,” he rubbed his head tightly, “Though I’m not exactly a hundred percent either,” he rubbed his temples, “Damnable space monkeys got themselves some hammers.”
Simon stood up, concerned, “Captain?” he placed the back of his hand to Mal’s head.
“Fever?” Mal asked.
Simon frowned, “No.”
Mal’s stomach tightly squeezed, “Make a path.”
He just barely pushed Simon out of the way before he retched over the railing.
“There… went…” he pulled back.
Then took another turn over the railing, “Lunch.”
Simon was unsure whether to go to him or not, “Captain?”
“Damn it,” the captain spit out and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, “Of course. The one meal that isn’t wrapped in plastic and shaped like a brick…” he shook his head, staggering as he did so, “Damn it. This don’t feel right. Don’t reel fight at all…” he stumbled, “Where’s that after puking euphoria???”
Simon went to him anyway, “They told us that we had some lodgings here?” he placed an arm around the captain’s waist, “I didn’t have the chance to get proper instructions after I checked the cargo…”
“Yeah, Trissa just showed them to me a minute ago,” Mal rolled his head around, “We’re bunkin’ together…”
“I’ll sleep on the floor if it’s all the same,” Simon steered him toward the door.
Mal pushed him off, “I got it. I got it. Damnable space monkeys!” he mumbled as Simon followed him into the building, “Just because they found us naked in the wilder
Thanks for reading,
Keep flyin'
You can't take the sky from me
The suspense... you had me going both ways with Simon's choice--completely sold the tension and reasoning of it.
The dialog and interaction... absolutely on target. Simon was perfect and Mal with him was also vividly right.
Lupins (too lazy to log in)
>_< hope that went right.
I like this fic for many different reasons.
First because of how you play the interactons, I mean that I like having Mal and Simon alone in the same fic but that's nothing if they aren0t well played. And they definitly are great played.
Second because you do know how to make a nice twist. Two by the way, because at the beggining I though that Simon would shot Mal with the medecine. Then you made me believe he0d shot himself in order to take care of Mal (which was, from my pont of view the most senible solution), then it turns he'd shot it to Mal... and still makes loads and loads of sense.
And last but not least, because you're a good writer that takes the story roll on itself.
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