Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

Honest Run: Diagnosis

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Back on New Denver, Simon and Mal find some new allies. And some clothes.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3393    RATING: 9.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Previous chapters include:

Honest Run: Dance

Honest Run: Dignity

Honest Run



A special thanks to Guildsister for her much needed critical Beta reading.



The offending dials were in the red. Panels were flashing.

All telling Simon there was a problem.

He knew that much.

In the rear of the shuttle, he mopped his brow of sweat brought on by a sudden inexplicable heat. Systematically, he began drawing from the only training that he had. Medical troubleshooting. He had no idea what he was supposed to do. There was a malfunction, but this wasn’t anything he had knowledge about.

“What am I looking for?” he asked the captain.

“Hell, if I know,” the captain said. There was some Mandarin cursing of which Wash figured prominently.

“What is the problem?” the doctor brushed his hair back, “What does the console tell you? It has to be alluding to some kind of system…”

“It tells me something is wrong,” Mal told him, no end of irony in his voice, “Damn shuttle’s handling like a brick.”

“You’ve lost maneuvering thrusters?” Simon stared at the angry blinking panels reading the warnings in both Chinese and English. He punched at some buttons, trying to get past the warnings. His fingers came away with plastic molasses on their tips, “Marvelous,” he said quietly.

“Port side, mostly,” Mal yelled back, “Starboard’s fine.”

Simon turned around. He had been on the wrong side. However, nearly all the readouts on this side, the port side, were blanked out and sweating some kind of insulation from the seams, “Port side. That’s left, isn’t it?” And the heat was that more intense just that half a step away... His chest was heavier for a breath.

There was a pause, “Yeah.”

Of course it was left, dummy. It was River’s voice originated the mental comment. T

Comments
Tuesday, 11 January 2005 10:08
This was such a hard chapter to do. I actually started on it before Dance. Wrote it. Rewrote it. Spliced it. Rewrote it again.

Finally, I just sent it off to have it Beta read to have a new perspective.

It won't be a favorite, but it'll get you from A to B.

Keep flyin'
Tuesday, 11 January 2005 19:18
Youy're wrong. It is a favorite.

Wonderful dialogue between Mal and Simon. Excellent plot. What a cliff-hanger!
Tuesday, 11 January 2005 20:44
Wow, terrific! I really love how you have the story unfolding and the understanding/ease developing between Mal and Simon is great. I just hope Simon doesn't get too sick and that the two of them can thwart those dastardly thieves in the Denton Gang. Can't wait for the next part, this story is fabulous so don't you go apologising for anything. I'm loving it. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Wednesday, 12 January 2005 01:02
Careful, Ali D. The captain's got a few symptoms of his own. Thanks for all the feedback.

Keep flyin'

Wednesday, 12 January 2005 01:25
Great job. I really agree with Amdobell. Not every chapter can have everything, but this has almost all of it and has us ready for what is to come. Can't ask for more than that.
Wednesday, 12 January 2005 01:34
Very intriguing relationship developing with Mal & Simon. Looks as if the doc is going to earn his respect, with foibles intact, which feels as it should be.

I empathise with your humbleness, but you needn't let it affect you, this is worthy storytelling.

Carry on!
ANONYMOUS
Wednesday, 12 January 2005 08:38
Great story. A disturbing, yet very interesting cliffhanger. I can't wait to see what happens.

Mai
Thursday, 13 January 2005 19:17
Though I'd read the earlier draft, this revision kept pulling me right on through! Simon's rationalizing about which one of them to give the antidote to leaves me not at all certain who he actually did give it to--great cliffhanging.
Friday, 21 January 2005 17:25
I went back and read from first to last in this series, and in almost 20,000 words, there really isn't a clanking sentence or dangling idea. Modesty is becoming, and all too rare when real, but this is high quality stuff...up there with Ali D's Christmas series! (From me this is very very high praise.)

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