Something To Think On: Chapter 9
Thursday, July 30, 2009
M/I. Post-BDM. On giving without expecting in return.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 2449 RATING: 10.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
Something To Think On
by
Chapter Nine
All in all, she’d had to tell him four times that she didn’t want him. It was four times before he finally let it set in, before he started to feel the anger.
Probably took so many times of telling because, contrary to what Simon said, he did have hope. Not just hope: he had joy. It was a little-known fact that joy was an important part of the life of Malcolm Reynolds. He looked for them little bits of happiness that he could latch onto to make the rest of it worthwhile. Such was probably the reason Wash’s passing’d hit him so hard. Wash’d gone, and it was like the joy went out of Serenity.
He reckoned it was that – his searching for joy – that made it so gorram easy for him, after that night with her, to fall into the trap he’d been careful to ward off since she came on his boat: he let himself get comfortable, because with the comfort came, for a little while, joy. That night, she’d listened to him, and he’d let himself believe her listening’d meant more than it did, because believing that little thing brought him joy.
What had she whispered to him, all that time ago, about practicing her trade? “You would never feel as though an advance would be unwelcome. A Companion’s goal is to make every client feel as though he’s special to her.” May have been she hadn’t meant to – may have been she hadn’t known how not to – but she’d seduced him, but good. And he’d been the fool who took her for earnest.
The comfort after that night on Beaumonde – too much comfort – had come out in different ways that he’d later felt shame in recollecting. Unguarded smiles thrown her way. Her name on his lips more often than was normal. Jokes in the mess over his gun-cleaning habi
So sad, his defense that he has joy, and it's only the most tiny, seldom and sporadic joy anyone could ever experience. Poor Mal. Another good explanation here for the behaviour in the series. :)
I remember that there was an edit here, with the Nandi section, about how Nandi still wasn't Inara. I don't remember what it was originally, but this works well.
Two times Mal stood outside the Infirmary and tried to reach out to Inara and apologize.
Deal with death by RUNNING. :(
"You can't take the sky from me!"
Post Your Comments
You must log in to post comments.