Something To Think On: Chapter 18
Sunday, January 3, 2010
M/I. Post-BDM. Beginning and ending with a kiss. Nearing the end.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 3443 RATING: 10.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
Something To Think On
by
Chapter Eighteen
He opened his mouth to say something, anything (thank God, was afraid you’d never wake up again, thought I’d never talk to you again, knew I’d never kiss you –). But before he could say any of the hundred things about to tumble out of his mouth, the doctor pushed past him and, as he whispered to her instructions in his steady doctor’s voice, pulled out the tubes that’d given her breath. And then she was coughing, the boy propping her up and rubbing her back, and it was like finding her all over again. Simon.
***
If all had gone according to plan, he would’ve delivered her to Three Hills two weeks after that last conversation, about a month and a half after he found her that night on the bridge. A month and a half after she’d made the decision (jŭ tóu wàng míng yuè, dī tóu sī gù xiāng) that had brought them here.
It was mid-February.
She made it nearly to March.
That last week he spent mostly on his bridge, occasionally listening to her stilted conversations with Simon over the comm (old habits die hard, especially with Wash not being around to remind him in his pointed way he had no business on that frequency). Which was exactly what he was doing on the last day.
In that Sihnonese dialect he hated, because it was theirs: “What did Kaylee tell you?” Her voice, tired.
“It doesn’t matter what she told me. But for what it’s worth, I couldn’t be happier. It was – it was insanity for you to think you should stay. He’s not worth that.” As if to himself: “No one would be.” Louder: “How are you feeling?”
An
The conversation between Simon and Inara, the doctor's orders, and the intercuts of Mal thinking he's watching her die, intermeshes well with the present reality of her waking up.
Can't believe I missed this first time around though - that Inara was going to give something to Simon before she collapsed. Or doesn't that matter?
You've weaved in flash backs and forward and exposition so artlessly, never mind having 'estranged father and daughter meet again after years'. Brilliant.
I'm glad the meeting with her father didn't feel too rushed. More delved into over the last few chapters.
I had to stop reading this half way, I almost started weeping during the secret exchanges between Gabriel and Inara and Simon’s description of the influence of her training and how she conducts herself. It creates a thought provoking parallel with her relationship with Mal and how it is Mal who recognizes that Inara didn’t have a loving relationship with her father and there may be some comparisons there.
And the ending…oh Mal, his need to continue to fight for a cause, a real hero complex, some say, but not what Inara needs nor wants from him. But, he’ll do as she asks because he can’t say no to her.
The kissing is my favorite part, and of course their final declarations;)
I refuse to believe that this series is winding down.
On a side note, may I ask how you handled the flashbacks so well? Did you have them plotted out in advance, or did it just come together perfectly? As a device it has great potential for clunkiness, but you do it so smooth.
It IS winding down, for better or worse. Of course, some fanfiction goes on and on, and I understand the temptation. Once you've created a world (truth: or an offshoot of a world created by someone else), and gone to the pains of writing it just so, why not live in it a while? I thought about posting as a question on my log: to end or not to end? But as delighted as I'd be to play in this world a little longer, I think my arc, what I set out to write, is nearly done. So be it. This one had a natural end.
Re: the flashbacks. You can blame them to some degree, because they're what creates the necessity of the end. I love dancing around in time, in part because I really love the way the juxtapositions can play, in part because it makes the pace feel more frantic, in part because it creates for ME the challenge of a puzzle, because all the pieces have to fit together in the end. So I start with a beginning and end point of both narratives, and the trick is to fill in the missing pieces and interweave the plots in some useful way. Not my first attempt in this regard. I don't know if you're a BSG fan, but between seasons 4.0 and 4.5, I wrote a fanfic that I remain pretty proud of even if it perplexed a lot of people (I think it perhaps moved too fast, or the time jumps were too confusing; some people found it off-putting, some people really liked it) which attempted to resolve BSG's mythology and involved huge time-jumps. That was really an action/adventure kind of thing, though, so even more than this the writing was like unwinding one of those puzzles, you know, with the interlocking pieces? Just fun. Kind of a brainteaser. This has been a bit, too. Just fun. Mostly thanks to all of the friendly folk who have left comments and given me great advice.
Oh, look at me, getting all weepy and I haven't even left yet!
This is sad and wonderful, especially Mal's struggle to forgo the fight and understand that to Inara, he is enough. Especially after so long being convinced she didn't want him at all.
I'm embarrassed at how many times I have read the kissing paragraph. But not so embarrassed that I won't read them again :) Bravo!
Love seeing Mal realize that Inara wants him, that he's the first one she wants to see :o) But it's what she asks of him, that he not fight, that he stay and be with her, and his struggle to do that, that is the best part :o)
And, there's no leaving!! Just so you know, it doesn't matter if you finish this tale, you're simply not allowed to stop!!! :oD So save that weepiness, darlin' and put it back into writin' ;oD
In other words, more!!!
"You can't take the sky from me!"
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