Blue Sun Room FICTION - ROMANCE
Something To Think On: Chapter 19
Saturday, January 23, 2010
M/I. Post-BDM. The journey reaches its end.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 3987 RATING: 10.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
Something To Think On
by
Chapter Nineteen
He stood back, quiet, while Simon talked to her. Her father stood, just as quiet, in the doorway (River behind him, holding onto his arm and peering around him; it put him at ease, truth told: she must’ve felt there was something right about him).
Talked to her? Talked around her might’ve been something more accurate: the boy strode robotically about the infirmary, packing up items, probably most arbitrary, making more noise than what was necessary. She answered all his questions: told him about Blue Sun, how the company had approached her about experimental treatments just before her twenty-second birthday; told him about the facility she’d gone to and the doctor who’d treated her; told him (somewhat too clinically for his liking) about the procedures and the tests and the full day afterward she’d had to spend in bed, every time, because of the pain.
“But Simon.” Her tone changed: low, now, and soft. “Simon, it seems foolish to me. I don’t quite understand what you’re hoping to accomplish, what you think you actually can accomplish that would be worth –”
A loud clatter as the tray of tools he was holding connected with the metal flooring (thrown, not dropped). “Can’t you just –”
Sharply: “What, Simon?” He didn’t respond; hands on his hips, chin angled down (a flop of hair over his forehead), he was struggling to calm himself. “Can’t I what, Simon?”
“I know this must matter to you. I know you must not want to die. I know there must be something out there that matters to you enough for that to be true. But damn it, Inara, if it doesn’t sometimes seem like it’s all been trained out of you.”
The growl that came out of his chest wasn’t something he was in control of, but his wanting to
Comments
Sunday, 24 January 2010 01:28
What I like about this, in addition to those so open and personal moments between Mal and Inara as they're curled up with each other on that examining table, is how Mal explains Inara's past that he's finally found out in between the flashes of the present. What Inara's finally giving to him, what he's wanted from the beginning, while at the same time her just letting him be there for her is fulfilling his wanting to give. It just fits and flows so well within the narrative.
And his words to her before she falls asleep for what may be the last time, what he realizes she's asking, and then your last little scare... Nice.
And three years. So sad. Good, but so sad.
And his words to her before she falls asleep for what may be the last time, what he realizes she's asking, and then your last little scare... Nice.
And three years. So sad. Good, but so sad.
Sunday, 24 January 2010 05:57
I'm glad the Inara backstory seemed to fit the contours of the chapter – of course I ran out of backstory in the last chapter, and I wasn't sure whether this would feel off when set against the other chapters.
Three years. It seemed like a good amount of time. Long enough to live a little, short enough that it will go by much too fast. I dare say that nothing's set in stone, though.
This may be a good point to mention how much better this whole thing is for your input throughout. So in case I don't say it often enough, thanks for your always helpful advice. :-)
Three years. It seemed like a good amount of time. Long enough to live a little, short enough that it will go by much too fast. I dare say that nothing's set in stone, though.
This may be a good point to mention how much better this whole thing is for your input throughout. So in case I don't say it often enough, thanks for your always helpful advice. :-)
Sunday, 24 January 2010 17:18
Appreciate how you left it ambiguous as to how long she lives...maybe Simon can extent her life by using the findings of his research.
Love the Simon, Inara, and River connection you’ve created in your fic, it seems to flow seamlessly with what we’ve seen in canon and what Joss has dropped about these three in commentary.
But most importantly how strong you’ve made all these characters with their love for each other, and what they're willing to sacrifice for that love, in essence, for me, it’s what the show and movie are about:)
Looking forward to the epilogue…does Gabriel Tam die?
Love the Simon, Inara, and River connection you’ve created in your fic, it seems to flow seamlessly with what we’ve seen in canon and what Joss has dropped about these three in commentary.
But most importantly how strong you’ve made all these characters with their love for each other, and what they're willing to sacrifice for that love, in essence, for me, it’s what the show and movie are about:)
Looking forward to the epilogue…does Gabriel Tam die?
Sunday, 24 January 2010 20:10
Weirdly, the character I felt more for in this chapter was Simon. Not one blighted sister but two; both of them not just medically but mentally - River being actually brain-damaged, Inara irreversibly conditioned. And it makes Gabriel even worse: abandoned River, abandoned Simon, abandoned Inara.
It's so sweet that you have Mal and Inara having the 'when did you first like me?' conversation - so normal, amidst the high drama.
And I liked the look-back at Inara and Simon dancing.
And still loving the way you convey the achey-bitter-sweet pairing that is Mal-Inara.
It's so sweet that you have Mal and Inara having the 'when did you first like me?' conversation - so normal, amidst the high drama.
And I liked the look-back at Inara and Simon dancing.
And still loving the way you convey the achey-bitter-sweet pairing that is Mal-Inara.
Sunday, 24 January 2010 20:30
For the record, where I was involved clio pretty much gave this chapter and the others to me perfect.
Aliasse has got a point about Simon. I didn't notice it, but he's become increasingly sympathetic since the reveal. Or, I don't know. It's complicated, because Simon was right so often when Mal was being Mal, and yet at the same time, he was just HARSH. And now, there's ways in which Simon is selfishly wanting to save Inara too, but here it's not harsh, just hurting.
Aliasse has got a point about Simon. I didn't notice it, but he's become increasingly sympathetic since the reveal. Or, I don't know. It's complicated, because Simon was right so often when Mal was being Mal, and yet at the same time, he was just HARSH. And now, there's ways in which Simon is selfishly wanting to save Inara too, but here it's not harsh, just hurting.
Sunday, 24 January 2010 20:52
Well, Simon's of course been masterminding everything; Mal's just along for the ride, more or less. Or to provide the ride. And so I think that the harshness in the beginning was in general meant to provoke Mal to a certain response – which was action. Once Mal decided to act, Simon didn't need to push him so hard. And once River changed the course of the action, he ceased being in control so has been a bit more helpless. Also, I do think that not knowing Simon's motivations in the beginning made his behavior seem especially off-putting – probably especially to Mal! (Though remember also this is only the second time we've seen him talking to Inara – the first time, way back when, when Mal was listening outside the door – I think "hurting" is actually fairly typical of Simon when I have him in conversation with Inara – always a kind of disbelief that she'd act the way she does.)
The thing I was most worried about in this chapter was getting the Mal/Inara tone right. So whole the whole point of OTP's interactions are getting them to that big declarative moment and then the story's over, because it's difficult to write natural togetherness. So what I wanted here (what I said to Byte) was that I wanted to demonstrate that they actually did work together romantically and do that through normal conversation that doesn't seem either too trite or too anguished. So hopefully I captured that. Also I wanted to give some sense of Inara's POV, given that this is a Mal POV story.
Gabriel – I don't know about him. He's just kind of a shadow here. I'm not sure whether I'll give anything more on his death or leave it up to the imagination.
The thing I was most worried about in this chapter was getting the Mal/Inara tone right. So whole the whole point of OTP's interactions are getting them to that big declarative moment and then the story's over, because it's difficult to write natural togetherness. So what I wanted here (what I said to Byte) was that I wanted to demonstrate that they actually did work together romantically and do that through normal conversation that doesn't seem either too trite or too anguished. So hopefully I captured that. Also I wanted to give some sense of Inara's POV, given that this is a Mal POV story.
Gabriel – I don't know about him. He's just kind of a shadow here. I'm not sure whether I'll give anything more on his death or leave it up to the imagination.
Sunday, 24 January 2010 20:53
PS. I'm glad you liked (and caught!) that dancing reference. It seemed appropriate. One of several references back here.
Sunday, 24 January 2010 22:03
the whole point of OTP's interactions are getting them to that big declarative moment and then the story's over, because it's difficult to write natural togetherness
Hmm, clever!
My solution to this was ducking the declarative moment and then sequeing effortlessly into all the difficulties between them. But you've done both the declaration and the difficulties and the natural togetherness - beautifully!
Hmm, clever!
My solution to this was ducking the declarative moment and then sequeing effortlessly into all the difficulties between them. But you've done both the declaration and the difficulties and the natural togetherness - beautifully!
Sunday, 24 January 2010 22:10
I think I meant "so often the whole point" BTW. A lot of fanfic drops off at that point. You indeed have found a number of ways to escape that bind! *whistles innocently*
Sunday, 24 January 2010 22:38
And SOME authors make one of the OTP characters turn out to be an angel/goddess and suddenly disappear...
I just want to add that my fanart Jayne was based on the Jayne we find in STTO. You must have picked up on that.
I just want to add that my fanart Jayne was based on the Jayne we find in STTO. You must have picked up on that.
Monday, 25 January 2010 02:20
I did. You really captured the subtle tenderness underlying his character that I've tried so hard to capture. That said – I can't tell you how relieved I was to find that it wasn't Jayne who caused you that ear mishap.
But I take exception to your first sentence – you're making fun of me, aren't you? I knew I shouldn't have told you about that Book/OC [lio] romance I was planning to write. You can just be so mean sometimes. I thought my plan for the disappearance of the rest of the crew was perfectly believable.
But I take exception to your first sentence – you're making fun of me, aren't you? I knew I shouldn't have told you about that Book/OC [lio] romance I was planning to write. You can just be so mean sometimes. I thought my plan for the disappearance of the rest of the crew was perfectly believable.
Monday, 25 January 2010 05:13
I'd wag at you both a bit here, but for truly awesome fic and being distracted by the metaphysitheological implications of Book being literally in love with God(dess).
Hey. You should spend all your time touring Tohoku class cruisers making unreasonable demands. You say jump, they say "but...we're in the airlock..."
Ah, comedy.
Hey. You should spend all your time touring Tohoku class cruisers making unreasonable demands. You say jump, they say "but...we're in the airlock..."
Ah, comedy.
Tuesday, 26 January 2010 03:28
Mal never struck me as the sort of fellow who was comfortable pouring his heart out; the impulse is either foreign, or forgotten. He is a bastard, and wouldn’t be half so interesting without the awkwardness and tenderness that Inara brings out of him.
Anyway one of the moments that hooked me on your series was Mal torturing himself with how unnecessary he was in Inara’s life—how badly he wanted to give, how he had nothing worth giving. Nice to see that tension resolved so…beautifully—seems to me that they both badly wanted to give, and were both emotionally unequipped for it (and for accepting it).
Also, I’ll add that when Simon was revealed as Inara’s brother, I was rather disappointed (I liked the jealousy and spite and insecurity)—but Simon in the end comes out as nearly the protagonist, and just as much a friendly rival to Mal.
The ending is great, too: romantic tension is resolved, but nothing else. Perfect little window you left open there.
Can scarcely believe that I’ve been following this series as long as I have, and now it’s winding down. It’s been amazing trip, in the sense that it has ruined my life and made me question my manhood, and also, made me happy. Thank you so much for your narrative.
Anyway one of the moments that hooked me on your series was Mal torturing himself with how unnecessary he was in Inara’s life—how badly he wanted to give, how he had nothing worth giving. Nice to see that tension resolved so…beautifully—seems to me that they both badly wanted to give, and were both emotionally unequipped for it (and for accepting it).
Also, I’ll add that when Simon was revealed as Inara’s brother, I was rather disappointed (I liked the jealousy and spite and insecurity)—but Simon in the end comes out as nearly the protagonist, and just as much a friendly rival to Mal.
The ending is great, too: romantic tension is resolved, but nothing else. Perfect little window you left open there.
Can scarcely believe that I’ve been following this series as long as I have, and now it’s winding down. It’s been amazing trip, in the sense that it has ruined my life and made me question my manhood, and also, made me happy. Thank you so much for your narrative.
Tuesday, 26 January 2010 07:28
Thank YOU for the consistent generosity of your comments. It's been a delight to write, and I'm glad it's made for an enjoyable (happy?) read.
Epilogue coming along nicely... should be out soon, once I figure out the right note to end on.
Epilogue coming along nicely... should be out soon, once I figure out the right note to end on.
Tuesday, 07 August 2012 00:22
Bittersweet joy to see Mal and Inara together but so sad with her life slipping away just as they have found their way to each other. I did however feel my heart leap at Simon's news about being able to give her three more years with the drugs and that spark of hope that the time might be enough for him to maybehaps find a cure? I know, hopeless romantic that I am, but it would be so cool for a happy ending to come out of all the long drawn out grief. You have written quite the rollercoaster, thank you (sniff). Ali D
"You can't take the sky from me!"
"You can't take the sky from me!"
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